Should I Be Worried, Am I At Risk?

I'm sure there are fifty million posts about this, but I need to know.

Nearly a year ago, I had a doctor tell me I needed to lose weight, at least 20 pounds- for my own good health. I took his advice very seriously. Since then, i've lost around 26 pounds and still have about another 10 pounds to go to reach what is considered the healthy weight range and normal bmi. Everything was going fairly well, but one summer hit, and then another busy semester in college, i'm having more and more trouble sticking to my healthy eating plan and exercising. I now find that i'm absolutely terrified to gain any weight back. A one pound gain can ruin my mood for a week. Quite frankly... I wonder if things could be developing into something worse.

Sometimes I just go nuts, and eat candy and chocolate until I feel like i'm going to be sick. Then, I feel so incredibly guilty I have thoughts about just throwing it all up, as if that will make it all better and make it like it never happened. I never have done that, but the fact that I think about it scares me. I also sometimes think about skipping a meal or just not eating for a day, because maybe if I just skip a meal, the missed calories from the meal will balance out the calories I ate in candy. Sometimes I think about the few pounds I still have left to lose, and I think just not eating, or eating very little for just a few weeks or something would be enough to get me to my goal, and then I could just go back to eating healthy again. I don't want these thoughts, I don't like them, but they keep coming. I know that throwing up will ruin my throat and teeth. I know that not eating will destroy my metabolism, but the thoughts are still there.

After everyone, especially my dad, kept telling me how great I looked after losing weight, I now can't help but feel that everyone will be disgusted with me if I gain any of that weight back. I find myself constantly looking in mirrors, and wanting to weigh myself just to make sure I haven't gotten fat again. I feel like food is controlling my life, and that I have no willpower to resist the bad food, like candy, and cookies. I find myself eating well for a week at a time, and then some nights, I just loose it and eat everything I want and everything that's bad until I just feel gross. I have a hard time seeing myself as beautiful in the mirror.

I know all of these things are just thoughts, but they scare me. Should I be worried? Is this how it all starts? Should I try and talk to a counseler? Or is it normal to feel this way sometimes? Maybe i'm making mountains out of molehills, I don't know. I just want some advice, some answers. Thanks.