I have been in a serious relationship for
some time now, obviously sexually active.
We have been safe, but my period is a day
or so late. Although it fluctuates from
time to time, the issue of pregnancy is
very possible.
However, I know that I could not keep the
child, for many reasons. Im scared of
the physical and emotional consequences of
abortion, and could really use some
support. I cant talk to my boyfriend
about it; the few time the subject has
came up, he has made his view on abortion
very clear: he thinks it takes a cruel,
heartless person to kill something living.
I obviously dont feel the same, and I know
that having an abortion will almost
definately mean losing the person I love
most. I dont have anyone to go to about
this. Please help.
edit: I want to thank everyone who
replied, it really did give me lots of
comfort.Fortunately, I finally got my
period this afternoon. I started on the
30th of september, so going 33 days was
extremely irregular for me.
I want everyone who did reply to know
that this scare has really put a lot into
perspective, and I need to either abstain
for awhile or practice safer sex. Thank
you all again. You have no idea how much
it helped.
Last edited by ali-ant on 11-02-05 16:05pm; edited 1 time in total
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oopoopoop
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Mar 2004 Posts: 1484 Location: ,
Thanks: 75
Thanked:5
Posted: 11-02-05 08:23am
This is obviously a very difficult issue
for you. The first thing to say, though,
is that it is your body and no one can
force you to use it for something you
don't want. If you don't want to be
pregnant and don't want to have a child,
that is only your decision. In terms of
the physical consequences, a legal
first-trimester abortion is a very safe
procedure -- much less damaging to your
body and much less risky than actually
carrying to term and giving birth.
Emotionally, carrying through with an
unwanted pregnancy is very difficult for
many women, particularly if they feel
pressured by their partner.
As for your relationship with your
partner, you don't say what method of
birth control you are using. At the very
least, you should be using two methods of
birth control, including condoms.
My view, however, is that before entering
into a sexual relationship, couples should
discuss very frankly what their views
about abortion are. If you would abort an
unwanted pregnancy, and he is opposed, or
if you would not want to have an abortion
and your partner was vehemently against
becoming a father, then you should not
have sex. The choice of what to do is
yours -- it is up to him to know what that
choice would be and to decide accordingly.
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Tazzy D
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 30 Oct 2004 Posts: 3718 Location: , va
Re: 18 And Scared Pregnant Posted: 11-02-05 09:12am
ali-ant
wrote:
i have been in a serious
relationship for some time now, obviously
sexually active. We have been safe, but
my period is a day or so late. Although
it fluctuates from time to time, the issue
of pregnancy is very possible.
However, I know that I could not keep the
child, for many reasons. Im scared of
the physical and emotional consequences of
abortion, and could really use some
support. I cant talk to my boyfriend
about it; the few time the subject has
came up, he has made his view on abortion
very clear: he thinks it takes a cruel,
heartless person to kill something living.
I obviously dont feel the same, and I know
that having an abortion will almost
definately mean losing the person I love
most. I dont have anyone to go to about
this. Please
help.
well we are all here for you.. Some of us
here believe it is okay and some disagree
and believe the same thing as your
boyfriend so expect both opinions here.
As far as me im here if you need to talk.
Hopefully you will not have to make a
decision.. Hopefully your period is just
late. You need to worry about yourself
right now and everything else will fall
right into place
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12984
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 11-02-05 10:18am
If you don 't want to be a mother, there
is always the option of adoption; but the
impact a pregnancy could have on your
relationship could be good or bad.
However, I hope like tazzyd that's you're
just late!
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Anti-ant Posted: 11-02-05 14:25pm
Hi there and welcome! You say that your
period can run a few days late and with
the stress that you are under it can make
it even later.
We are here to support whatever decision
you make, we are not here to judge you!
Feel free to come here and talk anytime!
If you feel someone is judging you, just
ignore them! Never let a man tell you
what to do, it is your choice, pregnancy
can be hard onyour body and mind too.
Women have abortions every day and do not
have problems and if you do have problems,
there is help for you.
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ali-ant
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2005 Posts: 3
Re: 18 And Scared Pregnant Posted: 11-02-05 16:00pm
stillmehere
wrote:
ali-ant
wrote:
i cant talk to my boyfriend
about it
if you can't talk to your boyfriend, you
shouldn't be sleeping with him. If you
don't want to be pregnant, it isn't his
choice to
make.
as I stated, I cannot talk to him about
abortion because I know his opinion. Our
communication otherwise is fine, and you
lecturing me on sleeping with him really
isnt helpful considering its a little late
for that.
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ali-ant
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2005 Posts: 3
Posted: 11-02-05 18:07pm
We do talk about, have quite a few times,
in fact. When I stated that I could not
talk to him, I meant about the actual
abortion. I sleep with him because I love
him, and its my choice. I know and am
aware of the consequences. I know that if
I end up pregnant, my decision will be an
abortion, and our relationship will end.
I have come to terms with that, but I am
not going to end a serious relationship
because of his personal, religious
standpoint on an issue that has yet to be
a problem. As I said in my edit above, I
got my period and I am going to begin
taking even more precautions.
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oopoopoop
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Mar 2004 Posts: 1484 Location: ,
Thanks: 75
Thanked:5
Posted: 11-02-05 18:12pm
ali-ant
wrote:
we do talk about, have quite
a few times, in fact. When I stated that
I could not talk to him, I meant about the
actual abortion. I sleep with him
because I love him, and its my choice. I
know and am aware of the consequences. I
know that if I end up pregnant, my
decision will be an abortion, and our
relationship will end. I have come to
terms with that, but I am not going to end
a serious relationship because of his
personal, religious standpoint on an issue
that has yet to be a problem. As I said
in my edit above, I got my period and I am
going to begin taking even more
precautions.
congratulations on not being pregnant!
But does your bf know that you would have
an abortion if you did get pregnant? If
not, don't you think it would be fair to
tell him? I would find it difficult to be
in a relationship with someone who thought
it was their right to control my body.
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Tazzy D
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 30 Oct 2004 Posts: 3718 Location: , va
Posted: 11-02-05 18:44pm
Im glad everything worked out for you...
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Tazzy D
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 30 Oct 2004 Posts: 3718 Location: , va
Posted: 11-02-05 20:47pm
All right she started her period.. This
is support ladies remember. Who cares
what her bf thinks we are here for her or
are you forgetting
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Ali_ant Posted: 11-03-05 00:28am
Sorry I messed up your name prior, I just
realized it, oops!
Well today is your day **** hooray
****hooray!
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laura_friesen
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Feb 2006 Posts: 615 Location: , Canada
18 And Pregnant Posted: 02-01-06 12:57pm
Glad you got your period. I am usually
late with my period here and there but
this time I found out I am pregnant , the
doctor confirmed it. At first I was
thinking of an abortion so no one would
know. But my boyfriend and I are engaged
and we talked things out. Its not good
timing right now but we have to make it
work. Talking to my mom about her
experiences with abortions I just couldn't
do it. It's just not the "killing "
experience, its the "guilt" and I couldn't
do it. I have support fortuantly from
pretty much everyone in the family and its
great. I will be 19 in may so yes im
young like you, but im excited ..Everyone
is excited..There is no wrong or right
answer for abortion I think its just an
opinion, but the guilt is what would kill
me.
-laura
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12984
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Re: 18 And Pregnant Posted: 02-01-06 21:41pm
laura_friesen
wrote:
glad you got your period.
I am usually late with my period here and
there but this time I found out I am
pregnant , the doctor confirmed it. At
first I was thinking of an abortion so no
one would know. But my boyfriend and I
are engaged and we talked things out.
Its not good timing right now but we have
to make it work. Talking to my mom about
her experiences with abortions I just
couldn't do it. It's just not the
"killing " experience, its the "guilt" and
I couldn't do it. I have support
fortuantly from pretty much everyone in
the family and its great. I will be 19
in may so yes im young like you, but im
excited ..Everyone is excited..There is no
wrong or right answer for abortion I think
its just an opinion, but the guilt is what
would kill me.
-laura
hey, it sounds like for you, keeping the
baby is what is right! It is different
for everyone! It sounds like you have a
lot of support and love all around you, so
I know you and your fiancee will be
wondeful parents :)
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laura_friesen
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Feb 2006 Posts: 615 Location: , Canada
Re: 18 And Pregnant Posted: 02-07-06 11:14am
Hey, it sounds like for you, keeping the
baby is what is right! It is different
for everyone! It sounds like you have a
lot of support and love all around you, so
I know you and your fiancee will be
wondeful parents :)[/quote]
thanks hun! Ya I hope everything goes
great. My mom surprised me with a really
nice stroller and jolly jumper and toys
and books! And my fiance's (chad) dad is
buying us a brand new crib ..Like..Its all
falling into place !! :)
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12984
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Re: 18 And Pregnant Posted: 02-07-06 21:12pm
laura_friesen
wrote:
eiri
wrote:
hey, it sounds like for you,
keeping the baby is what is right! It
is different for everyone! It sounds
like you have a lot of support and love
all around you, so I know you and your
fiancee will be wondeful parents
:)
thanks hun! Ya I hope everything goes
great. My mom surprised me with a really
nice stroller and jolly jumper and toys
and books! And my fiance's (chad) dad is
buying us a brand new crib ..Like..Its all
falling into place !!
:)