My Ex Said "it's Not You, It's Me" Bunch of Bs? Posted: 11-03-05 16:10pm
I am unable to cope with my divorce
because I never ever wanted to be
divorced. And the only thing she could
say is "it is not you it is me". I have
evidence she received a call from a man
she met while out of town on business, and
also have evidence she has his email
address. This trip was 10 days before
she asked for a divorce. I asked her if
there was anyone else and she said
absolutely not, am I being naive. Also,
should I make the other spouse aware as I
have the phone number to this gentleman.
A friend of mine advised me "let it go",
"move on" . Help me. I want to hate
her, but swore to always love her, and am
having feelings like I will never be able
to find anyone again. How do I rebuild
my self confidence?
Thanks in advance.
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Jennifer23
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Oct 2005 Posts: 76 Location: Texas
Posted: 11-05-05 22:03pm
Well, first of all, there's probably a
good chance that there is "someone else"
but she's not going to tell you that there
is because she cares about how you feel.
She's sheltering you from the hurt that it
may cause you if she tells you the truth.
Then again, this person may just be a
friend and someone she can confide in, and
it has nothing to do with her wanting a
divorce. You may just never know.
You can't sit here and ponder all the time
about what you may have done wrong or why
she wants a divorce all of a sudden after
her "business trip". It's just gonna
make your life a living hell! You have
to put yourself first. Tell yourself
that you're a good person and that there
is someone out there for you. There's a
path for everyone and this is just another
crossroad. You'll be fine and you'll
find your soulmate soon enough. In the
meantime, enjoy life! Do something for
yourself! Things will make more sense as
time goes on.
I wish you all the best. Feel free to pm
me, if you need to! :-)
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lovinmom4
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2005 Posts: 37
Going Thru It Too Posted: 11-07-05 23:26pm
I am kinda going thru' the same thing. My
husband said it wasn't me....It was him,
but I found out 2 weeks after separating,
there was indeed another woman and she is
why he left. Of course, if he had been
man enough to resist temptation then we
wouldn't be in this position. She is
pregnant...He doesn't know if its his
baby. The "new" has worn off their
relationship and he seems miserable. I
loved him so much I would have taken him
back after finding out about the affair.
I have to say, it is hard not to believe
there is someone else in your wifes life.
I could be wrong. But, there should be a
reason for her leaving....Not just merely
saying its her not you. You deserve to
know the truth. And it will come out,
believe me. In my case, I suppose I was
the last to know. But I have found just
taking it one day at a time, staying busy,
trying to take better care of myself, and
also allowing myself to grieve over the
loss of my husband, has helped me thus
far. I am not out of the woods by any
means. Continue to come to divorce
forums, read all you can on the subject,
and dont feel guilty thinking it was your
fault. It takes 2 to make a marriage
work. Best of luck to you.
