Joined: 01 Nov 2005 Posts: 12 Location: citrus heights
Is Verbal Abuse Really Bad?? Posted: 11-03-05 17:14pm
Everytime I make a mistake my husband (we
have only been married 3 months) yells and
me and says the f word and calls me a
b****. And yells so loud our neighbors
can hear. I recently just had my wisdom
teeth takin out and I was on vicoden and I
get really emotional on it. But we got
in a small fight and I went outside in the
dark not really dressed right for the
weather to get away for a second. He
left me out there for an hour and didn't
even check on me and we don't live in the
best neighborhood. I'm just sad and I
tell him not to call me those names and
not to yell but he doesn't stop. I don't
understand why he can't just talk to me
normally. I never grew up with my family
yelling so i'm not use to it and I hate
it. Please give me your opinons, i'm so
upset.
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Crazynurse
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Nov 2005 Posts: 9 Location: PA
Posted: 11-03-05 20:02pm
I want to apologize ahead of time for
being blunt, but i'm not known for beating
around the bush. Your husband is sick and
he needs help. Yes, verbal abuse is bad.
You need to stand up for yourself. You're
in that relationship, too. He needs
therapy but it won't work if he doesn't
acknowledge that he has a problem. If he
realizes he does and is willing to get
help, good for you. If not, leave him.
No man is worth it. I don't care if he
looks like george clooney and is the
father of your 10 kids. You deserve
respect. Not only as his wife, but as a
human being! Good luck and be strong!
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anyways29
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Nov 2005 Posts: 12 Location: citrus heights
Posted: 11-03-05 20:19pm
No I want you to be blunt. I don't have
kids with him thank god and i"m 21 so my
life is not over. You're right, it's
hard cause I do stand up for myself and
tell him not to yell at me or call me
that. He has add but I still think
that's not an excuse he is on medicine.
I just am upset cause I would never treat
him like that. Like today he was yelling
at me cause I paid a bill with the wrong
credit card I guess it was only $30 but he
was sscreaming at me on the phone and
called me the f word and stuff I hung up
on him. Then he came into my work and
apoligized, i'm still upset about it.
But it's not just today it's over all.
So i'll call therapists I guess and see if
that works.
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trinaoftexas
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Nov 2005 Posts: 10 Location: Dallas area of Texas
Re: Is Verbal Abuse Really Bad?? Posted: 11-04-05 13:19pm
I know you love him, but your husband
sounds like a low down dirty mutha doing
it problem who doesn't need to be married
to anyone.
I have been dating my fiance for a year
now and even in joking he will not call me
a health forum. And when we argue, he
wouldn't dare use the word medical
question towards me.
Leave his triflin ass before you end up
hating yourself for letting him take away
your joy and happiness and "dealing with
it".
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anyways29
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Nov 2005 Posts: 12 Location: citrus heights
Posted: 11-04-05 13:52pm
Yeah I know it hurt me but I didn't know
how big of a deal it really is. Now I see
I really needed you guys to tell me thank
you. I know it's so bad to talk to people
like that I never have had anyone talk to
me like that so I was confused. Thanks
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Nikia
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Nov 2003 Posts: 74 Location: Wisconsin
the Thing About Verbal Abuse Posted: 11-06-05 14:32pm
Is that if it is done over time, you will
feel more lasting effects. You might
develop anxiety disorders, depression, or
a number of other mental health problems.
Even if it isn't a specific mental health
disorder, it would be really hard not to
begin to doubt yourself and feel as if
your feelings don't matter. Words hurt.
He either needs to acknowledge what he is
doing is wrong and get help if he can't
stop on his own or you need to leave
him.
If you did have any children with him in
the future, he would probably be verbally
abusive to them as well. Children are
especially vunerable to being damaged from
verbal abuse because they believe that
everything their parents say is true when
they are very young.
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Loki_
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Sep 2005 Posts: 29
Posted: 11-06-05 14:51pm
Love doesn't mean he can treat you that
way. It's not an excuse or a right for
him to do that. Stand up for yourself,
and say "don't treat me this way." let him
know, that you won't stand for it. No one
deserves that type of treatment, and never
think that it is acceptable, because it's
not.
