Laltely everything has been so hard.
Every night I go onto a major low, I dont
know what over but its just killing me.
I have just startted coming to boarding
school in a different state to get away
from everything at home, the pain the
fights the people, I came here to be happy
and get a good education so I could make
somthing of my life.
But ive just been even worse, I became
really close to a girl here and she did
make me happy, but a ew things went wrong
with her, we fell out and she started
cutting her wrists, I used to do it when I
was at home becasue my dad used to hit on
me and my step-dad was a p***k, I used to
cry like there was two halves to me one
side so scared of the other I had no
control over my body, untill my mum saw
my arm after a few months and she trasshed
my room and took the razor.
When she did this I went syko. I gave
myself a black eye and scrathed open the
cuts on my arm and poured nail-polish
remover or sprayed deoderent over it.
Anyway when I saw my friends arm and had
been told about it I cut again.
These past few weeks I have been so tierd,
it seems everyone elses problems have to
reflect on me.
People tell me I am one of the happiest
people they know and I help them more than
anyone to feel better about them self and
raise their confidence.
If I am such a great person tehn why am I
on such a low all the time?
I just want to be happy, trouble follows
me everywhere, its like I was nly born for
everything to fall onto me, im here to
make other people happy by making myself
depressed.
My mum and dad are split up and a few days
ago my dad came to pick me up for the
weekend becasue the boarding house was
closed for the weekend.I found out he had
been lieing to me for a year and had
secretly been seeing a woman behind my
back, I had never seen him with another
woman before in my life, but we went to
the coast and she was all over him I was
so sad I spent half the time downn the
beach with a guy that was from my school
too.
I talked to him everynight and he was so
sweet he told me everyting wold be ok, he
acted like he loved me, but then when we
went back to school everything changed, he
acted like he dident want to know me!
On the last day of the weekend we stopped
in a little town a few km's away from the
boarding house and I could tell something
was gonna happen.
First my mum rang and started screaming at
me, she had been to my dad property back
home adn tried to get soemthing from
there, my dad had someone looking after
the place and he told the guy to let no
one in the place, so when my mum rocked up
she was full of grog and went syko she
could have bin thrown in jail.
She rang me adn blamed me even now its my
fault even though I havent been home for
so long.
I cant make sence of any of this myself,
can someone please tell me what to do, I
can make everyone else happy but not
myself, I dont know how!
Please help me please please please!!!!!
|
before i am gone
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Nov 2005 Posts: 10
Posted: 11-05-05 01:48am
Why wont anyone help me?
I am alone? Was it to long?
Im sorry my life has already been to long
and im only 13
nobody cares as usual?
Please reply...Please im desperate
|
Liz26
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Oct 2005 Posts: 51
Posted: 11-05-05 02:18am
Have you been to a doctor about this at
all? Are you taking medication?
|
before i am gone
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Nov 2005 Posts: 10
Posted: 11-05-05 02:21am
No I havent, I cant I at boarding school,
I just cant go see doctor for somthing
like this...People will think I am over
reactive
|
snowygirl
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Oct 2005 Posts: 807 Location: hawaii
I Think U Have Depression, Should Get Help Posted: 11-05-05 02:54am
I can feel for you, like I discover I have
depression about a yr ago, just feel like
isnt going well and stuff. Finally I got
help at a psychotherapist and psychiatrist
which gave me some medicines and now I
feel better. I hope you can feel better
too.
|
saz55
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Nov 2005 Posts: 4 Location: london, england
How Are You Doing Now? Posted: 11-05-05 17:43pm
I know it has been ages since our last
message, but I wanted to know how you were
doing?And also I wanted you to know I went
to therapy at boarding school, and no one
thought I was over reacting or was being
pathetic. I treated the therapist like a
brick wall: I talked at it. Everything
that has ever hurt me or upset me or made
me angry, I just told the wall. And no
one judged me. I am still depressed, and
god knows I need help myself. But I think
you should know that no one will judge you
for how you are feeling. And check your
state laws, but at 13 they should not be
allowed to tell your parents. That was
always a big concern for me. I hope
everything is good for you now, and please
remember you are not alone. Sarah xxx
|
before i am gone
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Nov 2005 Posts: 10
How I Am Doin Posted: 11-07-05 01:02am
Yeah well, im not doing that good...
Things continue to get bad...Im so tierd
all the time...
I think it will get better though
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hwillis8
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Nov 2005 Posts: 9 Location: Atlanta, GA
Hmmm... Posted: 11-11-05 03:54am
That is some major pain your going
through. My parents have also split up,
even though they still live in the same
house (ya..Weird...) but anyways, first,
about your guy friend, have you talked to
him about it? Maybe he was thinking about
something else. Now im going to tell you
something that might seem weird for this
situation, but:
be selfish
do everything that makes you smile.
Think about what always cheers you up.
The drama at home is not your fault. It
is never your fault. Your family sounds
incredibly disfuctional, and that is hard
when you love them so very much. But you
must stand on your own two feet and press
on. " if I can just survive, good times
will come my way". That is the same for
everything. Live life as a passionate
dream. And, finally, confront your family
members. Running only temporarily solves
the problem. Also, find a family counsler
to help with all of these issues. Don't
worry, life gets hard, hearts get heavy,
and everyone has scars on their hearts.
But try to stay happy every day you can,
and live every day as if it was your last.
Dream impossible dreams, and make them
possible. And if the pain gets too much
to bear, please pray about it. I am
willing to listen to your problems any
time.
