Need Advice From Someone (pref. 20+)

Wow, you are in a scary spot. In my opinion the best thing for you and your baby is to go to the doctor's you need to have prenatal vitamins and maybe that means telling your mom and dad. If it were me(when I was 16) i'd tell my mom first so she could soften the blow to my dad but every family is different. You have to face the music at some point and in this case the sooner the better what city and state do you live in maybe some on on here could take you to the doctors.

Btw i'm 27 years old

I'm taking prenatal vitamins already. I just bought them at a drugstore. But as for going to a doctor or going to my parents, both are out of the question for me. I have no money for a doctor and my parents are both of high status in my community and neither of them could handle this kind of blow to their careers. I'm basically just scared. They wouldn't react well and neither would anyone in my community. There are only about 250 people in my town. Everyone knows everyone else and everyone would find out about this. I can't let that happen. I'm afraid though because I don't even know when i'm due. I don't know what it's going to be like when I go into labor and I have no idea how to give birth on my own. How will I know what to do? What if I need help? I have nowhere to go. I haven't told a single person about this and I never plan to. I don't want anyone to know what happened to me. The saddest part is, i'm growing attached to my baby already and I know I can't have it. Giving birth is going to be hard, but giving my newborn baby to a hospital is going to be harder. And then I just have to go on living like nothing happened. I'm worried.

You need to call planned parenthood or sothing like that maybe not in your town but maybe a neighboring community and if you don't have a car hopefully you know and trust someone who does. You don't have to tell them what it's about you can tell them that you are going there for birth control.

Sweet heart I know you wanted somebody old I am 19 about to be 20 in march......But you need to see the doc for the saftey of you and your baby, I know you are scared, but you have a lil baby that needs you now, if you don't see a doc were are you going to have the baby, yes you have said that it is out of the question to tell your parents but they are going to find out sooner or later, and so is everybody else. You need to just sit them down and talk to them, I know it is going to be hard, I wish I lived closer to you so I could help you out, is there any other family member you could go and stay at after you told your parents, like and aunts or something. But please don't go on with out telling a doc and see one and with out telling your parents

I agee with everyone. You really need to go to a Dr. You have to take care of your baby your all he/she has right now. I know you're scared but wouldn't it be much worse if something happened to the baby cause you don't want to get in trouble. I know your scared but your parents will find out. It's better to be honest with them, they might be upset at first but they are your parents they love you and they will help you. But for sure go to planned parent hood, it's free and confidential. Don't be scared to tell them anything you want they wont tell anyone, trust me i've been there and they are great at least start there. I wish I could help more. Your more than welcome to e-mail me anytime, my name is kristin and my e-mail is anyway s29@hotmail.Com. Anything I can do to help I will. I'm sorry your in this position. (i'm 21 :)

I really can't tell my parents. I'm not terribly scared of their reactions. I'm more scared of the reactions of my whole town. My parents are important people in my town and I don't want my horrible mistake to ruin their lives. People have babies alone all the time, right? They don't have to find out. I've hidden it for 5 or 6 months now. I just need to hide it a little more and then i'll be okay. I don't know what's going to happen with the birth though. That's part of the reason I came here. I need to know what to do when I go into labor and have this baby.

I'm sorry that I can't take your advice. I want to make everything better, but I just can't. I don't have the money to see a doctor, I have no idea where the nearest planned parenthood clinic is and my parents must never know about this baby. I feel terrible about what i've done to everyone. I would absolutely die if anyone found out about the baby.

Ok I saw your post in the teen forum how you would leave your baby on a doorstep of a shelter. Firstly time for some scary facts....

1. If you decide to birth on your own, you and/or the baby could die.
2. If the baby dies, you can be arrested for manslaughter

you .H.A.V.E to tell someone

people will know, if you're like other preggos by the time you are 8-9 months there will be no way to hide it.

What would you rather have? The community knowing your pregnant or the community knowing you killed/abandoned a baby? It's a small town, people will figure it out. You have to tell your mom or something, worse comes to worse, they send you away to have the baby and you put it up for proper adoption. You need to get medical care now too. Go to a planned parenthood or wic somewhere... Your school nurse...Someone. For the sake of you and your unborn child.

I don't want to leave my baby on a doorstep. I want to take it to the proper authorities and make sure it's safe. I love my baby even though I know I can't have it. I would never just abandon it. As for me or the baby dying, I am so scared right now that I don't see much other choice. I think I have to risk it. If things get really bad... Well, I don't really know what will happen. But i'm scared and alone and I can't let anyone know about me. I'm so ashamed of what i've done. I wish I could make it go away, as childish as that sounds.

You need to stop thinking about yourself and think about that baby! You need to see a doctor and get an ultrasound to make sure everything is alright!

Hun, that doesn't sound childish, you are scared. I just wish you could feel like you could talk to your mom or dad, I wish I could be there but i'm sure we don't live close. Planned parent hood is free, you don't have to pay. I didn't know if you knew that. If you tell your parents (which I know you really don't want to ) but i'm sure they won't tell everyone. But I don't know them, but I just wish I could help you more, I really do. I will be thinking about you. Please if you need someone to talk to or help with anything at all e-mail me. I can't imagine what your going through. I'm so sorry. I can tell you're a strong girl, keep your head up, things will get better I promise. We all make mistakes that's how we learn, remember no one is perfect and i'm sure your parents have made big mis takes in their life too. We all have. I wish you and your baby the best. Remember e-mail me anytime please.

I didn't actually know that it was free. That's really good news. Now i'm just worried that they're going to tell me that something's wrong with my baby. I don't see why they would because it kicks and moves all the time, but what if something is wrong with it? I wouldn't be able to do anything. And are they going to make me tell my parents if I go there? And what about the birth? Will they help me with that? And I don't need to take anyone with me to go, right? I'm only 16. Is it okay for me to go alone or do I need to be 18?

I'm so sorry you're feeling the way you do. Planned parenthood is completely confidential, no one has to know and no one has to go with you. If you're able to drive, you can go yourself. First thing you need to do is get your baby checked out and make sure all is well (which i'm sure they are). It's good you've been taking prenatals though. Planned parenthood will help you every step of the way throughout your pregnancy. That is the reason they started it, to help teen mothers.

I really wish you could talk to even your mother about all of this. I know what it's like to live in a small town of less than 500 people.. Everyone knows everybody and their business. Even though you feel that you can't talk to your parents about this because of their social standing in the community.. I would think that no matter how they act and who they are, they would want you to be as healthy as possible, and your unborn child. You are still their baby girl, and i'm sure they care very much about you. They might be a little mad at first, but they will get over that and look at your health, as you need help the rest of the way.

I have a lot of respect for you because of how you explained things, no matter what, you still didn't have an abortion and thought of adoption. There will be one happy couple out there!

No matter what though, I still think you need to talk to your mother or father (who ever is easiest to talk to). If they are the way you have described, I doubt they will tell anyone in the town. Especially after hearing what your decision about the child is (your decision was very mature).

If you ever need to talk about anything, feel free to send me an email. Ginas97 acr@gmail.Com

oh I forgot to mention, I am 20 (will be 21 in august). =)

~gina

Yeah that's very true it's totally free!! They won't tell anyone, and no one has to go with you they can help you, I promise they won't tell, I wish u the best. The sooner you go the more likely they can help you and make sure you and the baby are healthy. Just get a phone book and call planned parent hood, maybe there is one very close to u and I promise they won't tell your parents.

I am 22 years old and married I just got off of my period 10 days ago and now that I had intercorse with my husband last night I have started to bleed again. Is that normal and I started spotting last saturday as well what could it be. Help me please...

I am 22 years old and married I just got off of my period 10 days ago and now that I had intercorse with my husband last night I have started to bleed again. Is that normal and I started spotting last saturday as well what could it be. Help me please...

I really need advise I wrote before and nobody answered. I went home to visit and ended up having sex with my ex. The last time we had sex I started my period and we used a condom. Also every time before the last we used a condom. When I came back from vacation I slept with my boyfriend (that I am currently with now) unprotected and now I am 5 weeks pregnant. Should I even worry about who the father is?

Ariellagrimm,

i know you are scared, I couldn't imagine being in your situation when I was 16. But you have to tell your parents (sorry to sound like a broken recorded here, but there is a reason why we are all telling you this, specially since you have no one else to help.) I am sure if you tell them, they will not tell the rest of your town, they will help you. I know people that where really scared to tell their parents, and yes the parents where mad at first, but then they came to realize the fact, their daughter is pregnant and there is nothing that can be done now. Your parents love you, and all they want is to make sure you are okay. You might have been able to hide the fact that you are pregnant up to now, but you can't hide it when you are 8-9 months, and no matter how well you think you are hiding, people will talk. And it would just make things worse if your parents found out from someone else, or on the day of your delivery.

It will be hard to tell your parents, but it will be even harder to try to do this by yourself. You can't think of the consequences of telling your parents, you have to think of the consequences of not getting the proper help and care for you and your baby. Whether your parents are rich , poor, famous, the king or working at mcdonald's, every 16 year old that got pregnant is going through the same thing you are, you are not the only one, but in every situation you have to tell them. Even 30 years old women need help via the doctor and/or someone else. You will need the help, specially since you are so young. You will need someone to drive you to the hospital, or to get you help when you start labour. Even if you are giving the baby up for adoption, you will still need the help up to that point (even after with the emotional part).

Have you talked to the adoption agency ? They might be able to help as well.

I don't think anyone here is trying to lecture you or anything, we just want the best for you and your baby.

I really do appreciate all of your suggestions. I looked up some information about planned parenthood and I found one a little less than 100 miles from my home. With all the things people here have told me, I really feel like I should go there because now i'm completely paranoid that something is wrong with my baby and it would be all my fault. Anyway, i'm going there this weekend while my parents are fortunately away at an adult retreat through the church. I still have hopes of keeping this quiet and not telling anyone but the clinic and I still hope to deliver alone and take the baby to a safe house after it's born, but things may change depending on whether or not everything is okay with my baby. I'm still very scared, but i'm glad that I found out about the planned parenthood stuff. This definetly takes a little bit of the weight off my shoulders. I should be able to let you know how it goes when I get home this weekend. Until then, more suggestions and counseling would be appreciated. Thanks.