I Don't Know What to Do... Posted: 11-08-05 01:30am
I am 18 and have just recently moved from
my home town to live with my sister. I am
currently attending college as well.
..But the thing is, I know I have had a
few small episodes of depression when I
was in high school, but now, over the
past.. Almost four months I feel like I
have been severely depressed. I know I
should go to a doctor about it, but right
now I don't have a job and I don't know
about the insurance i'm on. Also, I can't
talk to my family, i've never been close
to them at all and always just kept to
myself in my room. I still do. I hardly
go out, i'm either tired and sleep all the
time, or i'm not tired at all and go hours
and hours and hours without any sleep. I
also have add and am a nail biter of
nervousness, anxiety, and just boredom. I
am over weight as well, I am 5'4 and weigh
around 225lbs. This is mostly part of it
all. I guess I am severely self-conscious
with no self-confidence at all. I've
never had really a relationship with a
guy, just always a friend, never had a bf
or kissed a guy. I feel as if I can't
trust anyone, relationship wise. I am
crying every night when I am alone. I act
like a totally different person when I am
around people, if I even am. I'm
somewhat, I guess you could say, 'afraid'
of people, what they think. I hate going
places by myself or being in places alone,
yet I crave to be alone when I am in my
room. My mind gets jumbled all time and
seems like every thought is going 500 mph
to where if i'm typing or talking, I
forget and talk about something else and
that my thoughts jump from thing to thing
so quickly. I also get really sad if some
guys want's to go out with my, I deny
them, even if I want to. I feel as if
they don't deserve me. I get soo sad at
times that I somewhat start to lightly
shake and I just then try to get my mind
off things. I have read in various things
that writing things down helps, but it
only makes things worse for me as I either
start thinking about them again, or I
think about them more. I retreat to my
room all the time, to the computer,
online. Online I feel better since no one
can see me and that they don't know me. I
even think about killing my self all the
time, but I know I won't do it. I'm
afraid. Somewhat if there would be large
amounts of pain involved..But.. The whole
'dying' part, not death in general, i'm
fine with that, just.. The 'dying'
bothers me so. My friends online say I
should go get help, but I possibly can't
get help without my parents or my sister
knowing. I can't think of anymore things
to write, or that i've just forgotten, but
I just want to know if someone is, or has
been in the same place that I am now, if
it really is depression or if i'm just
going through some teenage
thing??......... Uumm.. Well ... Please
and thank you.. I guess...
|
snowygirl
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Oct 2005 Posts: 807 Location: hawaii
I Think U Have Depression Posted: 11-08-05 02:49am
Hi I can feel for you. About a yr ago I
felt the same way as you depressed and
stuff, finally I got help from a
psychiatrist and he gave me medicines to
help me deal with depression and I feel
better now. Also im getting psychotherapy
which also helps me. From reading your
symptoms it really seems like depression,
I think u should let your family know
about this too. Its always better to have
more people support and help you through
this. Please get help soon. Hope you
feel better.
|
a_caged_mind
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Nov 2005 Posts: 3 Location: IN, USA
...... Posted: 11-08-05 04:20am
Well... I just told my mom. It was
like 3:30am and I going y.Messenger
actually hoping she was on and she was.
But I neven im'ed her, I just waited cause
I know she would im me.. And so after a
couple of sends, I just told her that I
think I need to go see a doctor and she
asked why and I told her i'm probably
depressed. And now its like 4:15 and
we're just talking about. Guess its
somewhat hereditary in my family and that
her and my dad had both had it and I guess
my sister somewhat too, but I don't know
when. My mom also stated for me to try
some st. Johns wart, or go to a doctor
and they may give me anti-depressants, but
she says those are kind of horrible cause
of what happened to her after she went off
of them. I have a headache now though,
i've cried too much. I hate crying.
But yeah, she keeps asking why I feel
depressed or what do I think is causing
it, and I just said everything, but she
keeps asking, just in different ways.
Still I said everything... Hopefully
something will work out..
|
jurplesman
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Jul 2004 Posts: 139 Location: Sydney Australia
Posted: 11-09-05 01:41am
Dear a caged-mind,
your problems seem to me to be a
combination of a metabolic disorder
(putting on weight) and a low
self-esteem.
The first you need to do is to treat the
metabolic disorder with the help of a
nutritional psychologist or a naturopath
or nutritional doctors.
