My husband recently (about four weeks ago)
informed me that he wants to be "single"
(his words).
He did not volunteer this information,
however, as I had to drag it out of him
after weeks of him seeming to be
uninterested in me.
After telling me this we kept talking
normally and sleeping in the same bed but
he became very selfish in his behaviour.
He talked very matter of factly regarding
arrangements for us ending our 5 year
marriage (financial stuff, housing etc)
he was not keen to watch me get emotional,
even telling me that he jhoped I would not
make a big fuss over this, in other words
to make it as easy as possible for him
!!!!!!!!
He became so cold and distant and began
rejecting me so much that I decided to
move out.
He said that he thought the space would be
good and I agreed somewhat, hoping that he
would miss me. I moved out , however ,
the situation was not really practical for
me and I also realised that I was not
unhappy at home and if he was that he
needed to move out.
I moved back in but we now sleep in
seperate bedrooms.
I am giving him space, going out with
friends, staying out of his way.
He has gone from calling me 2-3 times
daily to 0 times daily.
Everybody I speak to thinks that he has
someone else but he says he does not (an I
being too naive??)
i guess that as I write this I can see for
myself that it does not look good for us
but I just feel so hurt and rejected.
I want to try and make it work but I think
that he has checked out.
He refuses to go to counselling as he
doesn't believe in it.
I have tried to be nice and understanding
and that has not worked.
I feel like he has already made his
decision and I am just getting in his way
and holding hiom back.
He basically lives like he is single and
has cut me out of his life.
Any thoughts??
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lovinmom4
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2005 Posts: 37
My Thoughts Posted: 11-08-05 08:51am
My first thoughts would be he is or has
had an affair. He enjoyed that and wants
more. But, I very well could be wrong.
My husband pretty much done and said the
same things. I moved out, trying to give
him time to see what he really wanted. A
few weeks after I moved out, I found out
he was having an affair. Then he moved
her in with him. So, I do tend to lean
towards thinking of an affair the first
sign of a problem. But, I would suggest
if he wants to be singe, then let him
leave. Don't leave your home. You will
have to give him some time. Maybe he will
realize what it is that he wants. Don't
know what you got til its gone....Could be
the case. Let him have the single
life.....Its not all its wrapped up to be.
But if you dont allow him time to realize
this, it will only get worse. Begin
focusing on yourself. Things will be
tough, but you can get through it. Good
luck.
