Hi, doctors are not always right about the conception date. When I got pregnant with my daughter I knew for sure that is was one certain guys. I had been seeing another man before the doctors said that I had gotten pregnant and that the man I was seeing at the time was the father. Naturally I didn't think anything of the other man(who is now my husband) being her dad. My daughter is my husbands child (we had a paternity test done) and that means I got pregnant two weeks before the doctors said I did and I was on my period two weeks before that date and at that time I wasn't sleeping with anyone. (if you know what I mean) then when my daughter pops out the doctor says she was about 4-6 weeks early. Which would make my husband not the father again. So go figure. Doctors don't know everything!
The only way to know if this child is yours is to have a paternity test done when the baby is born. And just because she is pregnant doesn't mean you have to be with her. She should have known that before sleeping with you. You can't always guess a father by dates, as my story tells.
If the child is yours the only way to get full custody of it is to prove the mother unfit to be a mother or if she gives up all rights to the child. Most states will not allow you to just take a child from its mother. There has to be something wrong for the child to be taken away.
Well, I hope I have helped some. Just wait and be patient.

Trying to get custody of a kid when your male is extremely hard unless the mother is deemed unfit.

Dr was wrong with conception for both my pregnancy's, the date the dr gave you is the average woman with 28 cycle etc etc

by the way if she request child support I recommend getting a paternity test for your sake cause you never know

i cant stand woman who know a relationship is falling and scream pregnancy at first sign of trouble, keep your head high and watch cause she may cause more problems than you think (i have friends who pulled these stunts.)


wish you luck!!!! If you ever need to talk send me a message~!
Jess

I didnt know they could pin point a date of conception? Wow, thats cool. I knew they could say give or take you got pregnant around this date.......


Tammy

those girls are completely infatuated with these men they pin as their babies fathers.... Don't get caught in that web.... Test as early as you can.

I'm not saying that's what she is doing to you, just be careful!

As soon as the baby is born (which will be quite soon since you said she got pregnant in february), get a paternity test. She can't lie about those. Things just sound a bit odd with her..

As with custody.. You can't get custody of the child just because she had sex with someone else while she was pregnant. There has to be good, proven reason of why she is unfit in the courts eyes.

My bf whom i've been with for almost 3 years had a little boy who will be 4 in june. She has put him through hell the entire time.. Keeping his son from him is the worst. He has tried to get custody and has failed each time. Not because he is unfit though. She has failed many drug tests, even while she was pregnant, she cannot keep a job and provide for him on her own, lives in run down places with family members, he constantly was at the hospital because of diaper rash (i know all babies get diaper rash, but this was seriously horrible blisters all over his little bottom and everywhere), he had unexplained bruises on him all the time, and she has even dated registered sex offenders.. He still cannot get custody. It makes me sick sometimes how the court will choose a mother to take care of the child instead of the father because they believe children are better with the mothers. Even though she constantly b*tches to him that she can't handle him all the time, she still won't sign over custody to him because she wants that $200 a month to buy her drugs. *sigh*.

Good luck and keep us updated. =)

Omg not perfect and they havent deemed that mother unfit!!!

I hate this I have childrens aid society called on me for stupid reasons I dont feed my baby, mind you shes 29lbs at 15 months, my daughter has seizures and I dont get her medical help and last my husband is depressed (i was up for a promotion at work.) anyways a girl at work mouthed off to me oh you still have your kid, I never did anything wrong but people didnt like that I was married at 21 with a kid.

My friend at the time was hitting her kid and I called on her but they didnt even go to her house, they came to mine real quick for bs I hate the system.


If it is your kid and she doesnt let you see the kid you dont have to pay child support but if you want to see a kid I beleiev there is a way around where you provide to the child when they are with you (buy diapers,clothes,toys and food/formula) instead of giving cash look into it

our system is so messed up.......I knew someone that left their child in a bathtub alone at 3 or 4 months old, threw her child so high in the air and hit her head on the ceiling(9 foot ceilings) when she was I believe under 6 months, wouldn't feed her when she was "bad" and would leave her in dirty diapers for hours and hours.....The list goes on and on.
We phoned on her a few times and they would phone like a week in advanced to warn her they were coming to check up.....They did nothing!!!
This is why these kids die! I understand they have certain rules and regulations they go by.....But man how screwed up is that :shock:

Its disgusting michelle

people who actually do stuff wrong get away with it, I was terrified they told me they may take elisa away but I had my whole family to back me up if they tried. I was cleared after two weeks as I gave references for dr and hubby needed small psych evaluation as he was on parental and everything was cleared thank god!!!


It drives me insane how someone who never did anything wrong had to got through two weeks of anxious suspense and crying when I did the best I could to raise my daughter but to know people who hit their kids and they still get custody!!

I never wish anyone has to have child services called after them for no reason but because of someone selfish and for those of you who do have issue I hope they give you the help you need but take away you child in the short run.

That's sickens me jess. What they did to you was horrible. I'm sure it felt like you were living a nightmare..... I am so glad you proved them wrong. The good ones get the worst of of the system.. In my opinion

Trust me i'm just happy its over, hope you never have to go through sad that some people hate you so much they would do anything to hurt you....


Oh well at least i'm not the only one with my head on straight!!

I am so, so, so, grateful for all the responses from everybody.

Well I just want everybody to know and understand that to me a child is the most precious and important thing that can happen in a persons life, I can only be filled with great sorrow by realizing that this is happening in my life by someone who is lazy and has no ambition at all and is actually using their own child for some extra spending money. Even if I get full custody of the child (if its mine) there is no erasing this fact, and I wanted to have kids with someone who I love one day in the future, and not when I just turned 21. I continuously have the same thought on my mind everyday and that is when in my head I debate on telling the kid the truth when its older. That you were created because of someones greed. And to think the first day I met her she was working in the mall at a store called debs and I got her # and she said "you are the one that's going to meet my parents"

well I guess all I can do is wait to see if its mine and I will get the suprise of a lifetime this fri nov 11/05 because thats when she is getting induced to have the baby. So all I can do is wait for my life to be over. If this girl wanted money this bad honestly I would have given her whatever she wanted because after this my youth is gone and out the window, and dismissed as yesterdays news, which now I have no real freedom to have a life but all I have is the biggest obligation/responsibility in the world.

As far as the mother being deemed unfit well I guess I will have to wait and see how she treats the child, the only thing I can say is that she will be living at home with her parents and her dad is a recovering cocaine/haronie/achol/ addict who sometimes she wont even let me come over the house because of him, this usually always happens like once a month. She will never tells me what happens (i would be to embarressed) but one time she had to because she said he was pushing her mom up against the wall and then she triend to help and he through her on the bed and she said she kicked him in the face. Thats all she has ever told me about this guy and I have on been seeing her for like 7 months when I was about to end it, (remember this that things got progressively strange the more I was around these people) but she is supposed to be going to school in jan (at some local school) and she claims in 2 years she will be trying to get a good job.

I only expect the worst from this girl if I totally dont want to be with her, I can already see it now. When we were not even dating she said "i would never leave you but you would have to leave me" but my my how things have changed since she got pregnant, first off when she told her mom 2 days after she said she found out, and didnt even try to tell me first. But now the statment totally changed as did her whole attitude towards me. She said "if you dont want to be with me that fine, and her attitude was as such "like I run things now and I can treat you like whatever "

Yes haveing a child is hard but it will be the best thing that ever happend to you children are gifts from god.

your life isn't over....It's just beginning!

Hey matt

dont worry to much, yeah party liufe drowns abit but you can still go out :d i'm 21 and I go out 1-2 a month with friends and get to sleep in next day you just have to learn how to balance.


Im pregnant with #2 and as much as im craving a beer im only staying away cause of complications, I really wish you luck and trust me you can still live your life you just modify it with a child lol!!


If she asks for money I really think you should get a paternity test done just so you dont become attached an then loose it after(my friend did this to bf and it wasnt his kid and he wanted to keep helping out but she gave him the boot.) I have alot of respect for you cause I understand you dilemma

take care and i'll give you a hopeful congrats!!!


Jess

Okay, first, I know for a fact that you do have to pay child support whether or not you're actually able to see your child. I know cuz my ex-bf never saw his daughter and guess what? He still had to pay. Now that's real. And I hate to break it to you, but it doesn't really sound like she was trying to keep you if you slept with her on the 15th and she wound up pregnant and doctors are saying conception was about the 18th. Doctors are not always right about conception dates, i'm pretty sure that they're about 1 week and 5 days to two weeks off on mine. But even if conception was on the 18th then guess what? It could still be your kid and here's why; your sperm can live inside of a woman's body for up to 72 hours after intercourse. That's one of the reasons why we're not supposed to have sex for 3 days before our annual gyne. Cuz it stays there. And the shocker, yeah it lives.

Just a side note here for you. Sperm can live 3 - 5 days inside a woman. As a matter of fact, they say that sperm that carry the male chromosome swim much more slowly than the sperm that carry the female chromosome. Therefore if you are trying to have a baby, and want a boy, they suggest that you have sex 3 days before you ovulate to give the male chromosome carrying sperm a "head start" to the fallopian tubes. So if you had sex on the 15th, and the docs say she most likely got pregnant on the 18th, it is indeed possible! Look it up yourself if you do not agree.

i'm sure it's the other way around.... The sperm carrying the x chromosome(the girl) are much bigger and carry more nutrients which helps them survive longer. The y chromosomes are smaller so they get to the spot quicker but don't survive as long.

I think you're right michelle, I seem to remember reading that the girls are slower and the boys are faster. Just like i'm pretty sure that I remember reading that if you want to improve your chances of having a girl, shallow penetration at the time of ejaculation should do it. Because the girls are hardier and favor the more acidic environment while the boys don't. And that it gives the girls who are slower swimmers more time to make it to the womb since the boys normally don't survive. Not sure about it, but I think that's what I read.

Matt,
i'm going to sound like your mother here - and i'm a lot older than you and a mom, so I do these things, unsolicited.... :)

you were not honest with the woman. You gave her "the vibe"? What is this, high school?? Act like an adult - if you want to break up with someone, what's the waiting, hinting and "vibe-ing" for? If you're "planning" to break up with someone, do it fast, clean and clear. Be honest, for pete's sake!
But you weren't, so....
You slept with her, unprotected (so you thought she was still on the pill? Still, if you don't want to father a child *you* must take responsibility for bc.)
and here's the real insult:
you wanted to break up with her but you slept with her *anyway*?!?!

Sure, maybe it's all a lie, and she isn't pregnant. Well, you lied to her, too. Sleeping with her when you knew you were going to break up in a few days is a lie that you cared about her. What do you expect? Play cruelly with someone's emotions and they'll play with yours, my dear.

Or maybe she is pregnant, and is out to get your *potential* money. Welp, these things happen. Now you have a great opportunity to be the grown up you want to be, and do the right thing. If she is pregnant, *even though* you don't know if you're the father...
Help her through the pregnancy if she wants it.
Help her stay clean if she needs it.
Drive her to appointments if she asks.
Pay the child support (sure, ask for a paternity test after the baby is born), regardless of whatever custody ends up working out (and tigresacanela24 is right - you have to pay even if you never get to see the child).
Don't fight for full custody, unless the mother proves herself unfit.

And next time, wear a damn condom! :x

the plain truth is, you did this to yourself. Quit trying to make this about her.
And let this be a lesson to you, no matter what the results are.
You are as responsible as your partner when it comes to bc.
You are responsible for being honest, if you want honesty back.
You have to grow up.