I am doing ok I guess, I wrote my older
sister and told her that I wasn't for sure
if I was acctually gonna get help. She
told me that if I didn't get help I was
gonna loose my friends b/c no one wants to
have a sick friend. It made me so upset.
I was hoping to get support from my family
and since she's 16 and only a year older
than me I was hoping to be able to be more
open with her but I guess not. I went and
got blood taken to check my levels of like
protein and stuff like that I guess. The
test came back and everything is ok there
and I guess I am pretty health considering
I have an ed. I don't think that my mom
or sstep-dad really beleive me cause they
aren't really doin much to get me into see
a therapist or anything. The doctor that
I went to gave me the number of some ed
clinic and thats all. I am acctually kind
of proud of myself I haven't purged in a
couple of days other than tonight. I
guees you can say things are good lol.
How have things been for you. Thanx for
asking.
|
inezrina
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Oct 2005 Posts: 174
Posted: 11-16-05 14:25pm
Hey well I guess I am doing about the same
as you... Just still treking along. My
therapist gave me some numbers she wants
me to see a psychiatrist because I don't
think the meds are working but it will
probably take me months to get the guts to
actually call one of them. I have been
really bad the last few weeks with purging
it is like it is all I care about at the
moment.
|
lonely_angel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 128 Location: missouri
Posted: 11-16-05 21:46pm
I am not that bad at purging lately but
now it is starting up agian to become an
everyday type of thing though. I have
been so bloated to it is just like omg. I
feel like I have agined 20 pounds in a day
I have no clue why I am bloated either.
I am just really frustrated with this
though. Well, I guess everything in life
can't be easy lol. I kinda don't wanna
get help after seeing how my body reacted
with out a week of purging I heted it so
badly.
|
inezrina
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Oct 2005 Posts: 174
Posted: 11-17-05 12:20pm
Hi, I totally know what u mean about the
bloating it is so uncomfortable. Ok I
hope u don't get pissed off and never want
to talk to me again but u need to get
help. A therapist isn't going to force
you to stop purging, what they can do
however is be supportive, help u
understnad why you have an ed and help get
u to a place where u have more information
about yourself you are mor the person you
want to be and u start getting better. I
have been in therapy for almost a year now
and sometimes still my purging is worse
than ever but I know so much more now, I
know I feel like I wasn't loved as a child
I know I am an over acheiver and I know I
get hooked on goals and become obsessive
even if I can't change these things
knowing them helps me. And if your
parents aren't going to help u get help u
have to do it anyway there is always a
way.
Inezrina
|
lonely_angel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 128 Location: missouri
Posted: 11-17-05 21:56pm
I know getting help is the thing I need to
do but I think I am doing better. Like I
haven't purged lately. I always though
that my ed was about controll and self
esteem but now I am kinda realzing it is
slightly about weight. I came home today
and I looked on my dresser in my room.
There right on top was sitting my empty
bottle of diet pills. I was like great.
I don't know id it was my mom who found
them or my lil sister but it is kinda
freakin me out. I wish I had them still I
hate feeling discusting and grouse. My
parents aren't doing anything but thats
only cause I am not buggin them about
getting help like I was about anything
else like getting on insurance and things.
It is something they are in denial with.
I think in a way I am in denial too. I
can sit here and write about it and talk
to my friends about it an my sisters over
the phone but when it comes to talking to
my parents face to face it is just like
wow. I can't do it. When they bring it
up I am just like new subject or
something. I cant sand takling about it
with them and they don't understand. If I
do tak about it I feel I am being judged
like they are trying to see if I am
telling the truth. I think that they
think you have to look like you haven't
ate in a year to have an ed. I hate it
but sorry I rambled on alot about things
lol
|
inezrina
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Oct 2005 Posts: 174
Posted: 11-18-05 00:39am
Yeah I can't talk to my parents either it
freaks me out they don't even know I have
been in therapy for almost a year but
regardless u need to do something becuase
it won't go away and yes it is about your
weight and your self esteem and controla
dn even more than that too. To get
better I really believe u need some
support and even if u could stop purging u
need to figure yourself out. Is there a
school counselor or a teacher you can talk
to or the school nurse. I think you may
be surprised how it feel when someone
listens to you and is concerned and wants
to help while also being aware they can't
push u. I feel like I am being the same
person who was trying to force me into
therapy at this time last year. It is
like I just wnat to tell u to believe me
it is better when u have help maybe not at
first about after a little while it is
much better. I think it is really good u
can talk to your friends and sisters about
your ed. Let me know how you feel.
Inezrina
|
lonely_angel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 128 Location: missouri
Posted: 11-20-05 17:50pm
I know my older sister called up her old
counselor from when she was in high school
and she talked to her alot when she was
cutting. Well she told her about things
that were goin on and asked her if she
would talk to me and stuff and yeah she
never did. I think now I have basically
stopped purging I mean I haven't purged in
almost a week. I don't know though the
same thing happened to me last year I
always had like a month were I stopped
purging and then I started it agian. I
need help I know it but I don't know how
to get it. I am not an open person
talking to someone who doesn't understand
me in any way. I mean I told my mom about
this problem when we were sitting at the
table in front of a cop and he was just
like you know that it can do this and this
to your body. It doesn' feel like I am
talking to them it feels like they are
just tryin to figure out if I am lyin or
not. I am not and thats the hard thing
about it. I heard that bulimia is like an
addiction and you can easily get addicted
to other things ( well I don't know how to
explain it). Is that true.
|
breeanna
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Oct 2005 Posts: 79
Addicted Posted: 12-01-05 07:48am
I know this is a convo btwn u 2, so I hope
you dont mind me poking my head in
with bulimia becoming an addiction I
absolutely believe it is true. When I
first started I was acutally really bad,
like I didnt have that in between stage, I
went from like 4 times a week to 3 times a
day. Just in a matter of a few months.
Now adays, when im trying to stop myself,
sometimes I feel that I have to binge,
even if I dont want to, or im not hungry,
I just have to, for the stress relief that
follows after.
I was very resistant to the help, I did
not believe I was worthy of being happy.
It was hard to open up but once you start
believing in yourself and listening to
what your friends and people on here say
to you, things improve immensly.
I have had a lot of help.... When things
were really bad, I was in a phyciatry ward
for a few weeks inpatient, then a few more
months as an out patient. They did not
help with the purging but the problems
associated with it. I learnt many things
and I am so thankful because if I didnt
have that support, very strong support, I
do not believe I would be alive. Either
in a litteral sence, or that of that my
heart and soul would be diminished.
I hope you are well. Try and open up to
someone who would be able to help -
conceller, school nurse, whoever it may
be.. You deserve to get better.
Love ol xx
|
inezrina
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Oct 2005 Posts: 174
Posted: 12-01-05 22:12pm
Hi lonely angel and breeanna, it is nce to
talking to you guys you both sound very
smart. Anyway, lonely angel first I
wanted to say that it is great you haven't
purged in a week but I have to tell you I
have had times when I haven't purged in a
month and then gone straight to 3 times a
day. I am sorry it is so difficult for
you to get help though it is also great
that u ahve already tried telling your
mother. I think what you could do...
This works for me, write her a letter
explain what is going on, how you feel
about having talked to her before etc.
This might work better than she might help
also see if u can find a therapist or
psychiatrist by u that specializes in
eating disorders if u already have a name
and tell your mother she might help you do
it also don't feel guilty about money u
need it. Also have u talked to a Dr.
About ti because Dr.'s can refer u to
someone u can talk to.
|
lonely_angel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 128 Location: missouri
Posted: 12-02-05 18:30pm
Yeah, thanx you seem very smart to and
very helpful. I feel awesome to know I
have people I can talk to about this with
out being judged or them thinking your
lying. My step-dad told me last night he
didn't beleive me and my mom was just like
got really defensive about it so I am
really happy that someone in my family
beleives me though. I have a friend who
goes to a therapist about cutting and she
said dhe would give me the number for that
so I hope she does. She also struggles
with an ed so she is very helpful. I
didn't know how common ed's were but now
that I have it I know many people at my
school that struggle with the same thing
and I never knew it and they were always
good freinds of mine. In a way it is
kinda sad to see how many people really
struggle with it.
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