Freakin' Out About Going to the Gynecologist Posted: 11-13-05 23:14pm
Okay, this is going to make me sound like
a totally neurotic basket case, but that's
what I am right now. I'm a 25 year old
virgin who has never been to the
gynecologist before. I was planning on
never going until i'm married and
pregnant, well that was before I started
having some serious problems, that I won't
go into at the moment. Anyway, I
wouldn't call the Dr., so my friend called
and scheduled an appt. For nov. 30th for
me with her Dr. I can't believe they let
her schedule the appt., so sneaky of her.
Okay, i'm like totally scared. I mean I
know I have to go because I have to find
out what's wrong with me, but i'm so
scared about what's going to happen.
Stirrups freak me out anytime I see them,
and i'm afraid it's all going to hurt.
And what if I say or do something stupid?
What if I don't shave right? (yes, i'm
crazy at the moment) my friend told the
people that I have a major phobia of
doctors, and they said she could go
through the whole thing with me, but it's
too embarassing to have her in there
during the exam, although it would be nice
to have someone hold my hand. I'm just
going to close my eyes and hope it's over
fast. I don't know if I can handle this!
Can someone give me some clues (yes, I
know I need to calm down) or something to
make this seem easier or something. I
wonder if I should take valium before I go
(seriously)? Can you all tell me what
will happen? My friend has told me like
a zillion times, but she might be leaving
stuff out so as not to scare me. What if
the gown doesn't cover me right? That
will totally freak me out? What if I
laugh or cry when I get back there? My
poor friend who has to drive me over there
will be listening to me freaking out all
the way there. Once it's over i'll be
fine. Anyway, now that i've vented, i'll
talk sanely. Is there anything I should
do to prepare myself for this appointment?
I want to know what to expect and not be
surprised. I'm a teacher, so i'm
interested in the facts! If you can help
me, i'd appreciate it. I still can't
believe i'm going to do this. But my
friend (who is my co-worker) and I are
taking off work that day and we're going
to do something fun afterwards, which is
the only good part about it.
Anyway..........Help! Oh yeah, the Dr.
Is going to be a man. I'm only going to
him because my friend has been going to
him and says he's nice and really gentle.
She says they'll do their best to put me
at ease. How can I be at ease when some
guy is looking at me there! Lol, i'm so
immature about this kind of stuff!
Thanks! Sorry for the novel, guess
that's just the teacher in me...
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Jessica_CF20
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2005 Posts: 207 Location: NM
Posted: 11-13-05 23:46pm
Honney it will be fine I promise dont
stress out so much everyone has to get
them and im sure everyone is scared the
first time after it is over you are going
to laugh about how over worked you got ok
its fine I hope this helps god bless
jessica
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totallyafraid
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Nov 2005 Posts: 7
Thanks! Posted: 11-14-05 00:01am
Yeah I know i'm getting all worked up, but
I seriously am scared to death of doctors.
I keep trying to tell myself that women
do this everyday and they get through it
without having a coronary like I am, but I
still can't get over this fear. I would
call and cancel the appt., but my friend
would kill me. I guess after having to
help me to my desk when I almost passed
out at work, she thought she needed to
take matters into her own hands and steal
my information and call. Someday I will
thank her for this. She only made the
call because she knew I couldn't handle
it. She's also older than me, has kids,
and has been many times so it's no big
deal to her. I am also scared they are
going to tell me I can never have kids.
Actually, that is one of the main reasons
i'm trying to make myself go, I don't want
to jeopardize my chances of having kids.
I'm also afraid of having to have a
hysterectomy, but i'm trying not to borrow
trouble. Lol
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Jessica_CF20
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2005 Posts: 207 Location: NM
Posted: 11-14-05 00:06am
She sounds like a wonderful friend just go
sing close your eyes whatever but they can
ease your worries good luck
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popprincess
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Nov 2005 Posts: 46
Posted: 11-14-05 02:49am
I am exactly the same as you, I am
terrified of going to the doctors, mainly
for smears, the thought petrifies me (even
though I have had 4), I am due for my
smear but have been putting it off, the
best thing you can do is tell them you are
very nervous as then they will go more
gentle with you, I know exactly how you
feel, but imagine the relief when its
over!!
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oopoopoop
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Mar 2004 Posts: 1363 Location: ,
Thanks: 58
Thanked:3
Posted: 11-14-05 06:56am
Well, first of all you need to be calm so
that you can first tell the doctor exactly
why you needed to see them. They will
want to talk to you first, before doing
any kind of examination. The symptoms you
can describe are going to be very
important, so that they have a good idea
of what might be wrong even before they
have a look.
The, the fact is -- they are doctors, not
photographers for a top-shelf magazine.
They are examining you for medical
reasons, not because they like looking at
girls' bits. So don't worry about your
welcome mat making a fashion statement!
Yours isn't the first one they've seen,
just imagine what these poor folks have to
spend their days looking at -- you can bet
they've had quite a wide range go through.
To them it is the same as looking at
someone's throat.
There's no question that a gynocological
exam can be pretty uncomfortable, and the
doctors and nurses know that. You are not
unusual in not wanting to go. No one (i
think!) actually *likes* having a gyno
exam!
But if you are concerned, you also know
that you have a lot more to lose if you
don't go and get things seen to.
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Kymmie
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Oct 2005 Posts: 80 Location: Texas
Posted: 11-14-05 07:21am
You shouldnt be so nervous :lol: im sure
the doctor has seen many diffrent
poontangs, so hes not going to judge, hes
just there to help you and tell you whats
wrong. Depending on what doctor you have
will depend on how...Comfortable the
papsmear will be, lol.
Good luck! P.S, you have a great friend
^_^
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amomagain
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Nov 2005 Posts: 8 Location: Edmonton, Canada
Posted: 11-14-05 10:26am
They are right, just be calm and relaxed.
Taking some deep breaths when he starts
can help calm you down. If you don't
want your friend in with you ask for a
nurse to be present. They can't say no
it's your right. Did your friend give
you a step by step as to what the dr will
do? It's not that bad. They start with
your medical history. They use a "duck
bill" (can't remember the name) to open
you up, it can be cold ask for it to be
warmed under water first. You have to
relax when they use this, if your tense
you can actually push it out if your
muscles are really strong. Then again he
might not seeing as how you are a virgin.
He will take a swab and have a peek a
boo for any visual sighs of problems.
Then the "internal" he will use his
fingers (some in, some out) for feeling
your ovaries and uterus. It doesn't take
long. Most Dr. Will tell you what they
are going to do first, if your not sure
ask him questions as he checks. I
usually look around the room, have a
conversation with the nurse. Good luck
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ashley_18
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Nov 2005 Posts: 36 Location: Florida
Posted: 11-14-05 19:19pm
I do not care what anyone in here says.
It is going to be worse for you being a
virgin and getting that thing stuck in
you. It is cold and it hurts, and when
it opens it has this clicking noise.
They pull up a chair and sit right in
front of your crotch and stare at you.
They take this huge qtip and stick it
inside you and scarpe the side of your
vagina, it is the worse uncomfortable
feeling ever. You will get through it,
whatever you do do not tense up because it
tighten your vagina muscles and it will
hurt worse, believe me. I am sorry if
this scares you but I am not gonna sugar
coat anything. It is not pleasant. That
is all there is to it.
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totallyafraid
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Nov 2005 Posts: 7
Thanks So Much! Posted: 11-14-05 23:43pm
You guys are awesome! Thanks for
replying. My friend has pretty much told
me everything they are going to do, but
i'm sure I will ask her a million times
before I get there. If the exam hurts
too bad, they say they will stop. My
friend says it will probably just be
really uncomfortable. I have to go in
and talk to the Dr. In his office first,
and she is going to go in with me to make
sure I don't get nervous and leave
anything out. She even sat at my desk
and wrote out all the problems just so we
wouldn't forget anything. I can handle
the pain- it's the embarassment factor
that just freaks me out and the fear of
the unknown. And I keep thinking what if
there's nothing really wrong, but my
friend says she can guarantee that
something is wrong because my problems are
severe an abnormal. I just have to trust
her, she is smarter than me. And you all
are right, she is an awesome friend.
She's the only one I tell this kind of
stuff to.
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totallyafraid
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Nov 2005 Posts: 7
My Dream Posted: 11-17-05 00:33am
Just thought i'd share my dream with you
all. Well, you know how i've been
freakin' out about going to the
gynecologist and all. Last night I
dreamed that I was at the office getting
ready to have the exam, and he pulled out
a speculum that was like 9 feet long and 9
feet wide. I was like, "you can't use
that." he said, "don't worry you'll get
used to it." I woke up screaming at the
top of my lungs, but then I had to laugh
about it. My friend got a kick out of it
when I told her about it today at work.
Oh my gosh 14 days (almost 13) until my
exam. That's two weeks. I have been
thinking non-stop about it. I have asked
my friend a zillion questions. She is so
patient, she just lets me freak out and
tries to calm me down. She told me
she'll go in the room while I have the
exam, and she promised not to look lol!
I told her she doesn't have to go in for
the exam, just the part when I have to
talk to the doctor in his
office.......Basically just so I don't
leave anything out. If I take a valium
before I go, I may not even know what's
going on. Lol but I guess that would be
okay!
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solar001
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Nov 2005 Posts: 82 Location: Weston, FL
Don't Be Scared Posted: 11-27-05 20:01pm
If it's a pap you're going for, don't be
scared. I had my first one a week ago. I
was terrified, I only did it so that my
Dr. Could prescribe me with birth
control. Honestly, the pap was so quick
that I hardly noticed it, he kept my mind
busy by talking and acting as though we
were just sitting down having a glass of
wine (i know it's funny, but that's how
casual and "not a big deal" it was).
I hate the doctor's office, and it was
weird, but overall very quick and
painless. I haven't had sex (but i'm not
sure if i'm physically a virgin anymore),
and I had no problem with the size of
tools or anything. I wasn't even aware of
what he was doing, I still don't even
really know what he did. I think he just
inserted a tool to keep the vagina open
while he used a scarry-looking, but
painless swab to get a sample of my
cervix. After that, he had to stick his
finger inside to feel for cysts (this was
very strange and I wasn't ready for it,
but he was very gently and it didn't
really hurt). The whole time we just
talked about a birth control that I was
considering (he will probably just talk to
you about your symptoms), so it was very
much not a big deal, which made it soooo
much easier.
The only initially wierd thing is the
breast exam, which I wasn't ready for, but
he (yes, I go to a man) wasn't even
looking at them while he was examining.
And there's always a woman in the room
with you.
Remember, you're going to a Dr., not a
playboy photographer. Basically, your
vagina and breasts will be the 1 millionth
vagina and 2 millionth breast that he's
seen :wink:
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totallyafraid
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Nov 2005 Posts: 7
Thanks! Posted: 11-28-05 22:25pm
Well, my appointment is wednesday.
Thanks for your reply, that makes me feel
a little better. I just hope I don't do
anything stupid during the exam. I worry
about the dumbest things. My doctor is
going to be a man too- he's my friend's
doctor, and she's going with me, so that
makes me feel a little better. She says
after the exam we will go out and
celebrate. We are both taking off work
that day. I know i'll feel better after
it's over and I know what's wrong with me,
but it really makes me nervous. My
stomach has been all upset, and I just got
over being sick and having to take a round
of steroids to clear up my breathing- I
just hope nothing happens! Lol I was on
edge all day at work (and I will be until
it's over), and I told my assistant (the
friend who is going with me) that I should
just cancel the appointment, and she was
like, "no, you're going, even if I have to
come drag you." so I guess i'm stuck
going. She keeps telling me it will be
fast. She says it will be weird and
uncomfortable but it shouldn't hurt. She
was like, "you tell him if it hurts, he
needs to know." maybe since you didn't
have any trouble I won't either. I'm
more worried about the pelvic exam than
anything else, and what if I don't get the
gown on right? Lol (yes I know it's open
in the front). I'm still freakin' out,
but i'm going, I guess that's what counts!
My poor friend has to deal with me
freakin' out about it all day at work
tomorrow, and then she has to listen to me
in the car on the way over there.......But
at least we'll have fun afterwards!
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nightangel73
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2604 Location: ,
Thanks: 17
Thanked:13
Posted: 11-29-05 00:10am
Hey girl!
I was virgin when I went the first time to
the gyn at age 28 (i did pulled it off
longer than you ;)). Well there is a
very low chance you have cervical problems
given you are a virgin. The doctor must
know you are virgin. I told so to mine
and he used a different speculum. It was
uncomfortable but not painful. Don't
worry about pain but if you do tense up a
lot which is probably what will happen to
you that will make things 10x worse. My
doctor was a man that first time. After
that exam I have gone to female gyn and I
feel much more comfortable/less nervous
with a woman. I still get a little
nervous and I will always be nervous but
this is a normal feeling for this type of
examination. You got to put with it.
It is not big deal but it will make your
heart beat fast everytime you go.
Last edited by nightangel73 on 11-29-05 19:32pm; edited 1 time in total
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solar001
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Nov 2005 Posts: 82 Location: Weston, FL
Posted: 11-29-05 12:45pm
Yeah, your friend was right, it's weird,
but it's quick. I've heard that a diff.
Between a man and a woman gyno is that
women kind of know how much pain you can
take (not a good thing) lol. I know my
gyno was very gentle and very nice, in a
genuine way.
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nightangel73
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2604 Location: ,
Thanks: 17
Thanked:13
Posted: 11-29-05 19:31pm
solar001
wrote:
i've heard that a diff.
Between a man and a woman gyno is that
women kind of know how much pain you can
take (not a good thing) lol.
why is that not a good thing?? The thruth
is that whether a doctor is gentle or not
it is not defined by the gender of the
physician. There is rude male gyns same
as there is rude female gyns. My female
gyn is very gentle and very kind so i'm
glad I made a good selection.
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solar001
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Nov 2005 Posts: 82 Location: Weston, FL
Posted: 11-29-05 21:55pm
I didn't state it as a fact, first of all.
I specifically stated "i've heard..."
there is no reason for you to get
offended, it's not like i'm parading
around saying "female gyno's are rough,
don't go to one."
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poohbear101
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Nov 2004 Posts: 383
Posted: 11-29-05 23:23pm
I think every one is nervous about their
first appointment, but honestly it's
nothing. And its over in just a couple
minutes. It's not painful, and the only
uncomfortable thing about it is having
someone "down there" when you really don't
want them to be lol. But if you tell your
doc you're a virgin then he'll know to be
gentle and to make sure you totally
understand everything that he's going to
do. It'll be over before you know it and
next time when you have to go for one it
won't seem as big of a deal.
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solar001
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Nov 2005 Posts: 82 Location: Weston, FL
Posted: 11-30-05 08:24am
I agree.
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nightangel73
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2604 Location: ,
Thanks: 17
Thanked:13
Posted: 11-30-05 19:38pm
solar001
wrote:
i didn't state it as a fact,
first of all. I specifically stated
"i've heard..." there is no reason for you
to get offended, it's not like i'm
parading around saying "female gyno's are
rough, don't go to
one."
oh no I did not got offended, just wanted
to clarify. You are straight :d
