He Does Not Love Me Any More..... .why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Posted: 11-15-05 17:32pm
Please someone help me out! I cannot hang
on any more... I just cant! It might be
quite a long story but its worth the
read...
I have been with my man for about a year
it will be. We have had a rocky
relationship since the start. But through
it all... I love him! Through break ups
after breakups.... Fights after fights...
Arguing over the dumb stuff... All
because of why? Because trust and long
distance but I love him through it all!
With all my hearta nd soul! Well....
Like every "child" we all mess up in our
years. But once you grow up and take
responsibly of your actions, you can not
revolve into a child whenever you want to
run away form your responsibly. Well my
"man" isn't understanding that concept.
And I do not know how to help him out. I
just can not handle any more. I have hung
around and hoped that he would change back
to how he was before( when we first met)
but I cannot handle it any more. When we
met, he had already messed up in his life.
With drugs, school, life. He met me, and
changed everything for me! He tells me
i'm his dream girl.. I'm his wife.. Me
and him are meant for each other.. He is
going to clean up his act for me. He
lives in a diff state, so he was
constantly telling me how he had to move
out and move on with his life.. As long
as i'm in it. You know, random things
that someone that loves you will tell you.
Well now, as the days go on, it seems
that he is starting to screw up like he
use to before we met. Almost like i'm on
worth all the change and the goals that he
has set out for him self.. For us! He
laggs it when he goes to school..... We
constantly fight and he jumps to
"breakups"( more then what he use to do
before). I tell him things.... To help
him out in his life... But he shuts me
down. I just do not know what to do any
more! I constantly am in tears because I
try and help him out.. Because I love him
and I want to spend the rest of my life
with him... But he does'nt understand.
He keeps messing up.. Not going to school
or he'll go late... He will go to work
late as well.. Or sometimes wont go at
all... I just do not know what to do!
Has someone been through something of this
sort and all has worked out for the best?
If so, can you please explain what I
should tell him because it seems all my
talks with him, which he claims he
understands, but I feel that it goes
through one ear and out the other. I do
not need to hang around if someone is
going to show me that I am not worth
anything to them... But I love him and I
want to try my hardest to make it work out
with us. Help me out please!
|
sibley_b
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You Gotta Let Go... Posted: 11-15-05 17:47pm
I am in a long distance relationship as
well! We met when I was 16, he was 19.
We had a rough start as well. But all the
while I knew that he was worth it, ppl
tried to keep us apart, it didn't work!
We've been 2gether ever since. In order
to have a successful relationship, you
have to have a common ground!
Communication, and trust is a big deal!
It sounds like he doesn't want to be with
u anymore. He's not putting in any
effort. Don't ever let yourself get to
the point where u feel used. You've only
been with him for a year, you've been
alive longer that! Let go, and move on.
I've noticed that you've taken on a
"motherly" role, where you feel like you
have to keep him motivated, and heading in
the str8 direction. That's not your
place, he has to want something for
himself. Let him go he needs to grow up,
you can't teach a man how to be a man,
that has to come naturally...Goodluck
sweetie
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Nevaeh_Iilena
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Me Again... Posted: 11-15-05 17:58pm
Yea, exactly. You can not teach a man how
to be a man. But it seems that everything
is just falling out of place. Everything
was a alright with us. I mean, i'm young,
I should be out living the life of a
careless person but do i? No. I do my
part in a relationship to hold it up
because I love him. I am more mature then
these girls out hear, I should receive
respect. Not disrespect. I was in a long
distance relationship for over two years
at the age of 13! And never once did I
mess up that relationship! But I soon
found out, that I was worthy of this man
and I promised my self that I would never
stick around for some fool if they can not
show respect and it seems that this guy is
showing me disrespect then anything. I
love him so much! I wish that me and him
can work out but it seems that everything
is going wrong! I want to leave him, but
my life feels incomplete with out him. We
see each other every 4 months, and when
that month comes along for us to be
together, I am the happiest person of them
all. I am smiling, giggling, just a happy
girl.. No mater what occasion it is. No
mater even if we are fist fighting with
each other( which that has not occurred) I
have a smile on my face because of him.
But I am tired of playing that roll of his
mother. I sometimes feel that he wants
some girl that isn't going to amount to
anything in life so he can feel that he is
on top of the game because he is lazy and
does not want to do the things that a real
man should do! But then there are times,
that he is sweet, loving, and responsible.
He constantly watches out for me. But
now, it seems that everything is going
down hill. I want to catch this
relationship because in my heart, I feel
that we are meant for each other, but then
again, I feel that I should let him go and
let him find someone that is "better for
him" because obviously I am not worthy of
the goals that he had set out for our
relationship a year ago!
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sibley_b
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Keep That Attitude. Posted: 11-15-05 18:03pm
You need to focus on you and your needs.
Its better to be young and naive, than to
be naive and alone twenty years from now!
Its okay to be young and single. Just
keep your head on str8. ~much luv~
|
thraancnya
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Joined: 15 Nov 2005 Posts: 5 Location: sc
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Posted: 11-15-05 21:14pm
I met my boyfriend when I was 19 and he
was 24. I was in my party mode carefree
whatever goes. Well four years down the
road I had goals he didn't...He got worse
partying...No goals...Eventually it wore
me down but I didn't realize it..Always
being the mother watching out for him. I
think it made me feel better about myself
that I was helping someone that was messed
up. That is an unhealthy type of
relationship and you will only get hurt in
the end. I did. If you are meant to
be together then it will happen. There
is nothing wrong with stepping back and
taking some time apart. You need to do
what is best for you first and everything
else will follow. Just let him know how
you feel don't put him down just let him
know that you feel you are going down
different paths and you don't want to
force him to be anyone that he isn't.
Tell him you want to break up. And even
if he says things will be different you
have to take the time apart to show him
that you are capable without him. He
will choose what is important to him.
Just be patient.
You have to listen and be true to your own
heart.
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