Think My Boyfriend Is Bipolar Posted: 11-17-05 16:27pm
I have been dating my boyfriend for about
a year and a half. I also live with him.
We have had a rocky relationship mostly
due to his moodiness and careless
behavior.
I really think that my boyfriend has
bipolar disorder just by reading more and
more about it. He gets upset about
things really easily, and if something
doesn't agree with him, he can't talk
about it in a normal, calm voice - ever.
He will yell, get mad, grit his teeth
and/or tell me to leave him alone.
I've put up with him calling me names, and
his different moods that change so
quickly. He likes to drink on the
weekends which isn’t a problem for most
people, but when he does, a lot of the
time he will do and say really mean
things, and often says he doesn't remember
what happened. I have to admit that it
is taking a toll on my self esteem. I
know there's nothing wrong with me, but
some of the mean things he says just
baffles me. He's always sorry about it
later and often acts as if nothing ever
happened.
Once I accidentally locked my keys in the
car and I called him up to see if he could
bring me the spare key. We only live 5
minutes from where I was at but he yelled
at me right away, said he had better
things to do and was very frustrated with
me. It has never happened before but he
got ridiculously mad at me. I was
waiting inside when he came. What he did
was pull up to my car, stick the key in
the hole, and sped off down the street and
went home. If I hadn't been looking out
the window, I wouldn't have even known he
brought me the key. I got home and he
was just irrate. I thanked him for
bringing me the key and asked if there was
something else wrong (big mistake). He
got even worse and told me to leave him
alone and that he didn't want to talk to
me. He started calling me names and
tried to make me feel guilty about things.
It was terrible. Then an hour later
he's normal again.
He just has such a very short fuse and
always does and says things he doesn't
mean at the time, but then always
apologizes for it later. It’s careless
behavior. And he often says that he
doesn’t care about anything. He has
said himself, that he doesn't know why he
says the things he says sometimes, but he
is always sorry about it. I'm frustrated
myself because he thinks that the reason
we don't get along is because of me. He
says I should just drop things, and not
ask so many questions (when i'm trying to
figure out why he's in such a bad mood).
He says that bugs him the most. So I
just try to leave him be, but all I want
to do is help. He just gets annoyed with
me.
He isn't a very good communicator and he
will blow up about the littlest things.
I know that if I told him I thought he was
bipolar, that it would just make him mad
and he would probably deny it.
How can I find out for sure if he is
bipolar? I have read so many things
about bipolar disorder. It’s like
i’m reading about him every time I read
another person’s story about living with
someone that has bipolar. I just need to
know what I can do to help. It’s hard
to deal with the way he blows up on me
about things. I just wish he could
control how mad he gets about things. I
have also read that people with bipolar
disorder move around from job to job a
lot. I have also read that most people
with bipolar disorder don’t even know
that they have it. And I also know that
bipolar disorder causes relationship
problems.
|
YourBuddyDanielle
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Nov 2005 Posts: 10
Posted: 11-17-05 16:35pm
Well, you have to remember that he might
not be bipolar, and that it could be
something else, such as anger management
problems, or something may be wrong in his
life that he is not telling you about. It
could be a variety of things. Personally,
I think you should see a professional
about his problem.
|
lucky27
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Nov 2005 Posts: 2
Posted: 11-17-05 16:45pm
I have definitely thought that it was just
and anger problem that he has. But the
more stories I read about others who are
dealing with a bipolar person, the more I
start to think that my boyfriend has it
too. He told me that when he was younger
that he had add, but I have heard that
alot of people with add also have bipolar
disorder. I guess i'm just frustrated
with the way he acts sometimes and I just
wish I could help.
|
YourBuddyDanielle
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Nov 2005 Posts: 10
Posted: 11-17-05 17:30pm
You should try talking to him about it,
asking if he has any problems going on in
his life. But if he won't talk to you,
and he just blows you off like you said he
did, I think you might want to try talking
to his family or friends to see if
anything is wrong.
|
BPjoe23
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Oct 2005 Posts: 111 Location: dfw tx
Posted: 11-17-05 19:39pm
It could be a lot of things, but it does
sound like he could be bipolar.
But i'm not a doctor, but just from my
opinion and being bipolar it sound like he
could be. Just know that normal up and
down mood is not bipolar disorder.
|
jenweric
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Feb 2006 Posts: 12 Location: pa
Moody Posted: 02-19-06 23:20pm
Hi,
your story sort of sounds like my husband.
I think it's called intermittent
explosive disorder. It's definately in
the mood disorder family, but probably not
bi-polar. It's very hard to cope with
that, isn't it?? Just remember, it's not
you and you need to be strong. When he
gets nasty with you, don't stand down.
The biggest thing that I can't stand is
when my husband raises his voice at me and
is nasty, and it's okay. But god forbid
if I raise my voice at him!!! I just
committed at major crime!! And he denies
ever being nasty to me!! Ha. Does he do
that?? Good luck.
Also, mood disorders run in the family, so
check out his family.
|
hekela
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Feb 2006 Posts: 5 Location: oregon
Posted: 02-28-06 19:50pm
Being a bipolar female I can say that you
should email him info about it from an
email he does not know! I say that
because I have been through it and was
pissed when someone told me I might be...
Being that they were right made it
worse!It never hurts as bad when its
coming from a person you don't know.
|
mks
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Mar 2006 Posts: 21 Location: AL
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Boyfriend Posted: 03-06-06 13:34pm
I know it sounds a lot like bipolar and it
may be a mental thing like that but I am
just curious of his/your age and that you
mentioned he likes to drink on the
weekends and did you say that you live
together?
As everyone has done, I will tell you that
I am not a doctor.
I actually hate to even say this because I
think that you are smart and have thought
about this a long time, please do not be
offended, but when I read what you wrote I
truly couldn't shake the idea that it is
an alcohol related thing. I do not know
how much research you have done on his
symptoms alone without trying to make him
fit into a category so that you have a
name/label for it. Yes that is a place to
start and you may be 100% right, but
alcohol does do most if not all of the
things you described. The moving from job
to job, mood swings, carelessness, abuse
by words to you (yes it is abuse and you
may want help yourself before fixing him),
but anyway, I have a brother that is a
recovering alcoholic and your boyfriend
has all of my brothers past personality
problems. I couldn't tell if you live him
or not and would know exactly how much he
drinks or if there is a possibility that
he could be smoking weed or doing some
other drug also? Needing the alcohol or
drugs and not getting them (withdrawals)
would make him "mean" and then better
later after he got them or the withdrawals
wore off. -just trying to help!
|
quicksilver024
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Mar 2006 Posts: 35
Posted: 03-08-06 10:19am
She said he only drinks on weekends, that
doesnt really sound like an alcohol
problem, imo it seems the alcohol is
making his symptoms worse. Secondly keep
weed out of this, there is no weed
withdrawal and not to mention the only way
weed would make him like this is if he was
a chronic smoker that completely quit and
they would be temporary symptoms, assuming
that it even happened.
My advice, being he is verbally and
emotionally abusing you, I would make him
get help or leave him. Even if he has a
disorder at this point it seems you are
more affected by his disorder than
himself.
Does he abuse anyone else?
Do his friends or yours see his rage
episodes?
Does he throw things, punch walls?
This would be a sign of bipolar. In
bi-polar you will see up and downs, from
your descriptions, I see only highs
(mania), does he often get depressed
too?
Does he sleep normally, even in these
"manic" episodes?
As someone who was diagnosed bi-polar and
have recently had a pretty bad manic
episode, I know, he needs to know or
things may only get worse. Remember
bipolar is a cycle, watch for it. I
think there's a good chance he isnt
bipolar, which is why I made the
suggestion to possibly leave him, I worry
youre taking to much of the burden here,
and from my point of view, I do not know
if he might be a physical abuser, if that
ever happens just go, it's not worth it.
It's your life too, if he will help and
stick to it, okay, but if he just says
i'll change, or what not, get out.
Edit: wow this is an old post, I think I
just wasted a good 10 minutes of my life.
|
mks
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Mar 2006 Posts: 21 Location: AL
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
To: Quicksilver024 Posted: 03-09-06 10:48am
I agree that she should leave him since he
is abusing her verbally and possibly
physically. At least until he recovers or
changes. However, to correct something
you told me... I had asked her if he used
weed or other drugs with the alcohol and
when I was talking about withdrawals I was
speaking of the alcohol or other drugs not
weed. I only mentioned weed because it
would definitely give the boyfriend the
careless attitude all the time that she
said he has.
Also, she said that he likes to drink on
the weekends not that he only drinks on
the weekends. And as far as boyfriends
go, we only heard her story, we all know
that the possibility of him hanging out
with friends during the week and drinking,
smoking, and dropping exists.
But no matter what the guys problem is, I
was just trying to help her like everyone
else on here and if you think posting to
something is a waste of time just because
it didn't post this week, then what are
you on here for? It seemed like you just
wanted to argue or vent....
|
quicksilver024
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Mar 2006 Posts: 35
Posted: 03-09-06 21:12pm
It's cool, i'm sorry I came off harsh, I
tend to make replies when I get up in the
morning, can be a little cranky. Alcohol
could definitely be the problem,
unfortunately this post is old and I dont
think we'll hear back from her.
|
michelle39
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Feb 2008 Posts: 1
boyfriend with bypolar Posted: 02-23-08 01:12am
I was reading the messages on by polar my
boyfriend just found out he has it.he is
the same way that lucky explained her
boyfriend was.I have been with my
boyfriend for 4 and a half years..i go to
counseling,my boyfriend does the same
things calls me names says hurtfull
things,but he dont ever say sorry.Its
always my fault even if its not.i love him
so much and i have tried to leave him and
forget about him but i cant ..I dont
understand why its so hard.i hate beening
treated this way...does anyone have
advice..i could go on and on with so much
more but my story is pretty much the same
as everyone eles..
thanks
HELP! I have never experienced nothing
like this before. The last 18 months have
been an emotional roller coaster. He's
unreliable, undependable, and you can't
believe him to do anything he says. His
mother feels he is confused. Very moody!
He'll see me one day and it's like he
doesn't know me. Another day he's all up
in my face. He rarely talks or returns
phone calls. If you do get him on the
phone, he's snappy. Drinks alot! The
alcohol makes him talk. Two to three
weeks can go by before I hear from him.
Always cancels dates. I haven't heard
from him since 2/13/08. I sent him roses
and chocs for Valentines. I didn't get a
thank you or no response whatsoever. He
seems to be Dr. Jekyl/Mr. Hyde. He
suppresses everything. Holds everything
in. He says he has always been like this.
He says he loves me and plans to marry
me. He always wanted someone like me.
Maybe he's bipolar. HELP!
|
heartless
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Mar 2008 Posts: 1
bipolar boyfriend Posted: 03-22-08 11:06am
This is to ice cream get out now before
you get yourself to involved with your
boyfriend, you will be so much better in
the long run. My boyfriend and I have
been together for almost 4 years and lived
together for 2 of those years. He did the
same thing to me in the beginning, I would
go weeks and not hear from him. Then
things would get better to only get worse
again. After we moved in together he
would hide in the bedroom with the door
locked and yell at me if I needed in for
something. He would say I was spying on
him. I have two small kids and he would
also ignore them if they asked a question.
Other times he would color, go outside
and play football or basketball with them
- it's very confusing for them. He gets
mad at every little thing like if I do not
answer his phone calls or say the right
thing when he asks me a questions. He is
very messy and very lazy, I can't even get
him to take his dishes to the kitchen or
take the trash out both are women's work
so he said. My point is that he does not
believe he has a problem and will not take
any medicine. I'm at the point where I
have to leave and I don't want to but I
can no longer take the fighting,
moodiness, and the verbal abuse. He told
me just last night that I'm a horrible
mother, stupid, he does love me, his life
would be so much better without me - and
he can't wait to show me that he'll find
someone better. (He is 36 years old and
has been married once before.) Why did he
get so mad last night? Because he wanted
to walk out on a bill where we had dinner
and I didn't agree. We were two hours
from home and yet another trip home with 2
hours of him telling me what a worthless
person I am. But then gets up this
morning and excepts me to go a family
cookout with him like nothing ever
happened. And then got mad again because
I didn't. A person can only handel so
much and give so much love before the
bipolar disease of someone else make you
sick. It has been way harder that I ever
thought it would be and he was honest in
the beginning in telling me that he was
once diagnosed with bipolar. But he
thinks he doesn't need meds anymore - in
his mind I'm the blame for all his
problems. So wish me luck I'm moving out
and leaving him. He actually told me to
leave which we rented the house together
and everything in it is mine. But this
time I'm doing it - as a mother to two
children I can't live with him anymore and
I don't expect them too. Although he for
the most part is really good to the kids
and they have a good relationship - all in
all it's unhealthy. I feel if he is
making me go insane and sometimes I feel
he is just mean and he has no mental
illness at all.
