Social Phobias

I've suffered with social phobia for the past 4 years and it seems to stem from my confidence levels/life experiences/low esteem/guilt/doubt/fear & negative self-image.

Social phobia can arise due to many different factors so be honest and think about the following;

what are your symptoms?
How would you describe yourself as a person?
Is this a new thing or have you always had social issues?
Are you taking any prescription /recreational drugs?
Can you recall the "trigger" for these feelings?

If you can explain a bit more about what you are feeling I can give you a better idea of how to overcome it, but here are some tips to tackle social phobia:

1, social settings- limit your social encounters to places you feel comfortable in.

2, friends - spend more time with friends who are chatty/bubbly/non-judgemental.

3, psych your self up- listen to really cool "happy" music before you go out.

Write this down & remember

feelings are a "hardwired human condition" and we act on/react to them; but with focus we can choose not to!

Emotions are aroused from experiences & feelings and social phobia comes from the questions that we ask ourselves and what we focus on:

i.E. You have a headache and your feeling sh**y so you focus on what your feeling,... But have you ever been in that situation & something has completely distracted you and taken your focus away? (like a call from an old friend or a last minute work project that you had to get finished)
then when you got back to what you were doing your headache had gone?
This is because your mind became focused on something other than what you were feeling.

Feelings are physical and come from sub-conscious dispositions - emotional states are the result of questions we ask ourselves about what we are feeling and our reactions to them. Everyone throughout the day asks themselves questions based on feelings like:

what am I going to do today? (what do I feel like doing)?
Can I do this? (am I strong enough, is this something I can do)
why hasn't this person called me yet? (feels like I done something wrong)
what do I wear today? (do I want to wear colourful clothes/dress up/down)?

It all depends on your feelings.

We may also ask ourselves questions like; why does this always happen to me, or what have I done wrong to deserve this? And lot of the time we ask ourselves questions without paying much attention or being consciously aware of it. Sometimes people can develop a negative thought pattern that creates self-doubt/un-certainty when around others.

Now this is a great way to overcome it:

imagine your brain as a "super computer" (it is a compendium of life experiences) instead of "yourself" ask "your computer" a question and wait for an answer. For example you could say to yourself; where is the nearest cinema? Well this computer is full of every comment, experience and memory of your life so it will run through everything in its "database" and come back in a nano-second with the answer - it's in the local high street.

But it also can use the data and make up an answer to any question you put to it like; why am I so fat? The most likely answer for a fat person would be; you are fat because you eat too much and have no self-control!

See what I mean? This way you can ask yourself questions but disregard the negative answers and start to ask more positive questions like; how can I overcome my phobias? What steps can I take to feel more comfortable around people?

Hope this helps and if you want any more advice just ask! Xx

e-mail: judd erman80@hotmail.Com

This is trishbunny emailing you back I have realized that I get really bad social phobias whenever I am about to go out

like to the store and stuff. And I get all worried that im going to make myself look stupid and I just start worrying about a whole bunch of things

and I don’t even really know why it just seems to happen. I get really nervous and anxious whenever I am in a room with a whole bunch of people that I don’t know. And I also get nervous whenever I go to the store and I have to wait in line to pay for my groceries. Did you get this kind of social phobias and if so

how do/did you overcome like is the trick just to stop worrying??



Trishabunny

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it all comes down to how you are feeling trishabunny, and if you can understand why you are feeling this way and accept that what you are experiencing is just irrational thoughts then you can overcome it.

I have been where you are many times but if you take a step "out of the box" and think about the other people in the queue- what do you think they are concerned with? Do you think that your presence is making them feel un-comfortable? The truth is they don't care about you or who you are or even what you are doing! Most people are too concerned with their own lives to think about what "some stranger" in the queue is doing.

Focus your mind on things that excite you in life and "big you up" what are the good things in your life at the moment? Children/family/friends/goals/achievements and mostly who you believe you are and what you could become- your potential! Put aside your fears by challenging them- go to the shops once a day for the paper/milk etc and maybe twice/three times a day. You have to force yourself to face your fears - or they will consume you. Ego is the biggest weapon in any social setting so look at ways to see yourself in a better light and not just who you are as a person but what you can give to others to make their lives better. When you stop focusing so much on your own life and start looking at ways to help others you often find that all of those fears just go away!