I need unbiased advice. I am in love
after months of denying it to myself and
trying to pass it off as transferance.
The truth is that when i'm with this guy I
am the happiest I have ever been and the
only thing that makes me unhappy again is
the thought of having to leave him. We
are both with other people and sometimes
it seems to me like he might actually be
in love with me too. I can't tell him or
ask him because it may destroy everything.
I am very careerminded and it could
destroy our friendship/s and lovelives and
I dont want to see anyone hurt most of
all him. He sends out all of these
signals and tells me he loves me but I
dont know if he means it in that sense. I
want to be with him; marriage, kids, dog,
house etc but I cant do anything about it.
Should I just give up on him and keep my
distance. Ive tried before for so long
but it never works, it just hurts more and
more. Im in a longtime relationship but
his is short but does that really mean
anything? I know that im a bad person for
all of this but I could use a little
advise from someone who doesnt know me.
God help me I love him so much. This is
not based on looks or finance as he hasn't
much assetts in either of those! But to
me hes everything, the earth and trees,
wind and breeze I fell. I am not the sort
to be naive or born yesterday and I know
about the grass being greener on the other
side but I am out of love with my other
half but still love him and care about him
if you know what I mean. Loving someone
and being in love with someone are two
seperate things. What should I do?
|
DLSmexico
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Sep 2005 Posts: 4 Location: Mexico
Just My Thoughts Posted: 11-20-05 21:57pm
You need to think about what you really
want. If you really want to proceed with
him you need to take a chance and talk
with him. What is the worst that can
happen? It sounds like he may be giving
you signals that he is interested in you
too. If you do not want to be direct, ask
him to meet for coffee or something and
see what his response is. If you are not
willing to talk with him then you should
move on or continue your relationship with
your existing boyfriend.
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scarletoheart
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Nov 2005 Posts: 2
Posted: 11-24-05 21:47pm
The problem lies with the fact that the
worst that could happen is that the guy I
could tell is my boyfriends best friend.
He could laugh, tell my boyfriend and
virtually wreck my entire life. I don't
know what the hell to do. I could tell
him but that is taking a gigantic risk.
|
lovinmom4
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2005 Posts: 37
What About Your Bf? Posted: 12-02-05 08:08am
To be honest, I think you are being a bit
selfish. You said if he told your
bf..Then it could wreck your life. Well,
what do you think it would do to your bf?
His gf in love with his best friend? If
you are not happy with your bf, then you
should get out of that relationship before
you begin another one. That is being
totally selfish and dishonest with your
bf. I do not know the whole "story", but
from what you have said here, it seems as
if you are only concerned with yourself.
Yes, we should all be happy, as I hope you
are or will be. Just think of all that
are involved here. If you tell the other
guy your feelings and he doesn't want to
go any farther with you....Then what would
you do? Go back with your bf? If you are
involved with another man, then your bf
will find out eventually. I am just
saying be honest all the way around.
Maybe evaluate your relationship with your
bf first.If you do not love him, why are
you with him? I do not mean to sound rude
or cruel, but I am only trying to help. I
think the number one thing is, if love is
what you are wanting(and we all do),and
you do not love your bf, then let him
know. Best of luck to you all.
|
tbaa_29
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Nov 2005 Posts: 32 Location: England
Posted: 12-03-05 17:17pm
Hi after reading you letter it reminded me
of myself 10years ago I was in a long term
relationship. Before I had met the guy I
was with I was friends with another bloke
we lost touch and I never thourth of him
again. Then two years later I was in a
relationship and met up with my old friend
in a pub (unplanned meeting) as soon as I
saw him old feeling started to come back
but I pushed them away as I was involved
and engaged. I later discovered that my
friend was actually my b/f's cousin!!! I
was gutted cuz he had moved back to the
area so he was around all the time. He
and my b/f were close my feelings for him
got stronger but I said nothing. We got
drunk one night and he told me he had
feelings for me. Nothing happened that
night.
To cut a very long story short, we ended
up having an affair his cousin found out.
We broke up, my b/f was heart broken, the
whole family fell out with each other over
it, it was a mess.
Now ten years later i'm not with either of
them I see both of them as we all still
live in the same town, but we walk passed
each other as if we never met. The two
fellas still talk but they are family but
they are not at all close as they were and
its all my fault.
I am lucky as i've now found a really good
man, i'm happily married and have a
fantastic son.
So out of that four year period in my life
I have nothing left. What i'm trying to
say to you is be very careful what you do
if you do want to try a relationship with
the freind break up with your b/f first.
That way your freind will know your single
and if he is interested in you he will
make his move, if he's not interested then
you will know for sure and you'll be free
to find some one else that you do want.
And no-one gets hurt!!!
Good luck to you hope i've been of help
and not waffled on to much
