Single Parents Forum - Sole Custody Case Please Help! Single Dad


Sole Custody Case Please Help! Single Dad

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olmekka

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 24 Nov 2005
Posts: 2

Sole Custody Case Please Help! Single Dad Posted: 11-24-05 11:20am


I just had a newborn last week and the mother had intentions of moving out of state far away. I did not want to move because I have a older daughter and other obligations here in my state but she would not understand and has a grudge and been vindictive. She is acting very selfish and has this attitude..Like "leave us alone if you want to be invloved you have to treat me good and all this bs" what does that have to do with arranging and writing up some type of visitaion or custody as I am the rightful father..(i did sign the affidavit of parentage" to make a long story short she has not let me near my baby and not answering me so we can make arrangements before she leaves...My lawyer submitted a sole custody case for her to respond to barring here from leaving the state with my child. She has neglected me as well as here older daughter she has now and dragging her along , took her out of 3rd grade in middle of school year, when she did not have to..What chances do I have in getting sole custody and what I should do now as far as 1. Getting insurance for my baby 2. Getting extended family involved 3. Do I need a girlfriend to help my case 4. Day care arangements 5. I live in apt with one room does that help? 6. Who should I bring on the stand if it ever gets to court to vouch for me? I need to win this case or she wins and gets support and run off to who knows where . I am a fit father btw and paying support regularly.

fatfamily02

Extremely EHEALTHy

Joined: 20 Jul 2005
Posts: 3050
Location: Georgia, USA

Posted: 11-24-05 11:58am


I know you said she is vindictive to you, but is she a fit mother. To get sole custody of your child you will have to prove she is an unfit mother. And I mut tell you sir, if you plan on taking a baby from its mother you .M.U.S.T believe she is indeed unfit. For it is a terrible place for a child to be taken from it's mother. I do believe that men can be just almost as good for baby, but there is just something a "mother" gives to her child that "no one" can ever replace. No matter how good the step mom is, no one can replace the mother of a child. I wish all children were living with their mother, and I wish this terrible place, no one share with me. It was the most horrible place I could have ever lived. And my children still are not the same. They will be affected by their father's decision all of their lives. I was a fit mother, but I was on welfare and he had his dad's business to say "i have money" he molested my daughter at 3 years old and they still let him have them, he beat my boys, and they still let him have them. My daughter was molested by him again at 11 years old because of their decision. And she is still fighting the ideas, and thoughts that come to her mind. She cannot have a wholesome relationship with anyone. Only .God can help her now. And may .God have mercy on his soul, I pray i am not trying to say you would do these things, and I hope to .God you have the love I have grown to understand for my children, so you can be the best one for them, if you do indeed believe she is unfit. It is nice to hear someone on the other end of the spectrum, going thru the same thing I endured. I hope you come out on the top, dear sir. And to your child, I hope .God grant great grace and mercy to this child, no matter what the outcome. God bless you, sir

overnumbed

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 14 Dec 2005
Posts: 1
Location: California

Posted: 12-14-05 22:59pm


Dont trry for sole custody you may lose it all . Your better off starting with shared custody, but stop her from leaving the state. After you get shared custody, take her back to court if and when she screws up. Thats the most likely way to end up with sole custody

olmekka

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 24 Nov 2005
Posts: 2

Posted: 12-15-05 19:44pm


Well she already left the state.. I was tryin to talk her in to formulating a parenting plan but she refuses or is not really cooperating. My child is not even a month old yet and now shes talkin about medical assistance and filing for child support..My question is I tell her..Why did you leave in the first place putting our baby in health jeopardy. She was already at a hospital here and being seen but to drag children miles away just because is beyond me..I have no choice to start out for sole custody then see if we can negotiate during this process...But yeah I know its all or nothing if I go for sole..

Kimmeh

Extremely EHEALTHy

Joined: 11 Jul 2005
Posts: 1104
Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Posted: 02-03-06 15:40pm


I have a question...I am not a male, but a female looking to seek getting full custody of my baby when she's born (5 weeks left) are the chances of me getting full custody good? I am very worried about my ex having access especially if its unsupervised as we broke up due to me finding pot stuff in his room (it may not be the worst drug, but a drugs a drug).

lsipes

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 15 Jan 2006
Posts: 325

Posted: 02-04-06 02:37am


I will share my experience here... In most cases, it's impossible for either parent to get sole custody. Unless there are extreme circumstances, the judges this day and age tend to lean more toward both parents being equally involved in the children's lives, if that is what each party wants. By extreme circumstances, I mean if one parent just ups and leaves the other with the child with no explanation, and is not heard from. Or abuse, be it physical, emotional, or sexual. I have primary physical custody of my son. This means that he lives with me and is in my care. My ex was abusive. He gets limited visitation. We share legal custody, but i'm the tie-breaker, so essentially, I have primary legal custody as well. This means that I make decisions for him such as healthcare, religion, education, etc. For the original poster of this thread, I honestly don't know what to tell you. To the second question about the pot-using boyfriend... Unless you have proof in the form of affidavits from witnesses that he's a hardcore druggie, the chances are slim. I don't think that finding pot in his room is really a reason to want to take custody of his child away. I don't agree with drug use, but finding pot paraphanelia is not really valid in wanting to ban him from his child. If he is into hardcore drugs and you worry about him taking care of the baby, you can testify to that affect in court, but it's ultimately up to the judge. And one judge may come to a different ruling than another. It really just depends.

Cheyeone

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 17 May 2006
Posts: 2
Location: Wautoma, WI

Sole Custody Isn't Everything Posted: 05-17-06 13:07pm


Sole custody would be nice but even if you could try for placement custody with her having visitations that would work ... Then if she has no contact(no letters calls or visits for a certain amount of time (3 months I think , it may vary state to state), then you can file abandonment on her and she has her rights taken away... & she would still have to pay you support.

fooforever12

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 22 May 2008
Posts: 1

Posted: 05-22-08 21:46pm


I have a similar story to share. My son is 10. He has always lived with me, his father left the state when he was 3 due to drug, gambling, and DV incidents. The father returned 3 years later. When we divorced while he was out of state, the only way I could get him to sign it was if I didn't ask for child support and we had joint custody, not at this time I was still scared of him hurting me and I just wanted out. Out of no where this March I was served with papers he had files for sole custody , that I didn't allow him visitation (totally untrue) and that I smoke (outside not with the kids) and that I don't value his education (my son has struggled with some illnesses this year and was in danger of being held back, but we kicked butt and he passed with some great grades). I just don't get it, he is child support free, has never taken and intrest in my son, with the every other weekend and a night or two durring the week. I can not believe I een had to pay an attorney what I did to represent me, why would a judge go hmmm yeah 10 years old is a great age to rip him from his stable home with an older sibling, and friends at school. I am so irritated and confused how this happened. Now we have to do this 3 hour meeting togeher with a psychologist in July, and I have to prep to not want to scream and yell and rip his eyes out. He has destroyed my family, my son is upset all the time, my older daughter feels abandoned, OH and this week he tried to send her a letter, didn't address it to her had a girl write it all out on the envelope, and used some animal hospital envelope as a return address with this letter in there about how she is his special firl, and he wants to be with her and love her if she would just let him. Now with all the sneekiness involved how do I not know he has become a child molester, he was molested as a child. afer our breakup became bi-sexual. Or was it just sneakiness but a true letter of a father missing the daughter he raised?? And again how is a judge not stopping this!!!! Family Court is FRUSTRATING!!!!!!!!!

moz768

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 06 Jul 2008
Posts: 1

Be Wise Posted: 07-06-08 17:36pm


Be wise, because the worst thing you can do is try to separate mother from her child. You going to drag to the court, spend thousands of dollars, put your daughters mother ( and your self) true tremendous stress, who besides you has million problems and things to take care. Your daugther for example. Instead be a wise man, stop the fight , be nice to a woman , that all it takes and she will respond same way to you. Help her instead of fithing, give her money so she can take care of the baby, and not run around all stressed-out trying to figure out how to pay for rent next month. After all, you are then man, and they depend on you. I am sure the only reason she moved out because thats the way she can make living , I have never seen a woman running from a good man. The best gift you can give to the children is by showing the love to they mother. And it does not have to be love as "in love", respect, peace , harmony ..... be thankful to her , after all she gave birth to your daughter , she gave the gift that that you could never give her. Instead sending her a subphena send her a flower. You 'll be surprised how little it takes to make a miracle. Be nice , thats all it takes for evryone to be happy. Good Luck