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Q: Secretly Getting Preg
asked by: Surrender on November 24th, 2005
Experienced User
I am trying to get preg, but my bf doesn't think we should yet. He's going away for 3 months as of january. I am trying to get preg without him knowing. I have stopped my b/c and we never use a condom, but he always cums on my tummy. Is it possible for my to put this cum in me with my finger or w/e...What about precum?
Nice answers only please, I don't need people telling me i'm stupid and selfish and w/e
~faithanne
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Ryansmommy
replied on November 24th, 2005
New User
Before I awnser your question how old are you?
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askara
replied on November 24th, 2005
Experienced User
Not a mean answer.. But..

What happens when you get pregnant and the realist of your boyfriend not wanting kids yet is there? The dilisuion that he will just accept it and be a lovng happy family is not real.
I he says he isnt ready chances re he means it and by secretly getting pregnant you are jepodizing your relationship and facing the potential of raising a kid by your self.

Think about it kiddo.
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Surrender
replied on November 24th, 2005
Experienced User
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I'm 19, 20 in a month, and my bf is 26..Well, he's actually my fiance. And its not that he doesn't want kids, he just wants to wait a while for really stupid reasons (in my mind). He told me if I was preg he'd be happy but hed rather wait.
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justacanadiangirl
replied on November 24th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Then maybe u should think about what he wants and wait. I was like u before wanting a baby when my bf says he wants to wait a little. And I was smart. We are waited.
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diamondsz
replied on November 24th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Here the same post as in the other one you did

depending on your age here an answer

im 21 and married but being in a long relationship is very similar the rule to common law/marriage is everything is in the open, no lies and you have someone to support you. I kept asking hubby for kids his words were is it happens it happens, I have a 15 mths old girl and im 30 weeks prego but hubby was aware of everything that went on.

A marriage/relationship is based on trust, friendship and sex I think without any of these a relationship would fall apart!!

I would honestly tell bf that you stopped taking the pill and you want to get prego and see what he says, yeah he may be abit angry but you kind of betrayed his trust but it might also open his eyes and he decide to want kids. The choice is yours but honestly he may leave if your not honest with him or he may feel different emotions every man is different, if your man was cheating on you wouldnt you be upset??? Place yourself in his shoes before making a decsion im not giving you hell I just want you to know that this has a double outcome good or bad.

If you got pregnant he would probaly support you but how do you think he will react once he realizes you didnt take your pill???
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Cambion
replied on November 24th, 2005
Active User, very eHealthy
You must ask yourself what you love more - the thought of getting pregnant and having a baby, or your fiance. He may say he would be happy if you did conceive, but how do you think he would feel if you were to tell him that you purposely stopped taking birth control in order to get pregnant when he had specifically told you he wanted to wait before having children? It's one thing to discuss such a matter openly with him, but to deceive him into thinking you are faithfully taking birth control to keep you from conceiving when it wouldn't be the best time is kind of low, even if you are engaged.

You guys are both still quite young, so why rush having children? It's not as if it's going to be paradise to raise a screaming, colicky infant. Are you guys financially stable enough to support a baby? Could you give it everything it needs to be happy and healthy? Having a baby cannot be done on impulse - they are a big responsibility and need constant care and attention. You must really consider these things before saying you want to conceive, especially when you know your fiance doesn't want to have children right now.
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not perfect
replied on November 26th, 2005
Experienced User
I don't want to sound mean, but i'm just stating reality.

If he says you both aren't ready to have a child, don't try. What you are doing right now with not taking your birth control is betraying his trust. Sure he says he would be fine if you were to get pregnant out of the blue.. But he knows there is a very slim chance to get pregnant while on the pill, so if it were to happen, it was meant to be. How do you think he'll react when you'd tell him you stopped taking your bc just so you could get pregnant? If you're lucky, he'd stay with you. In all reality, he would see you betrayed his trust and hurt him, and would be hurting your child because of being sneaky.

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now and there's nothing more I would love but to have a baby with him. We plan on getting married soon (most likely next year), and decided to wait until we are both married or at least financially stable so the child wouldn't suffer. I will be 21, he will be 24, and he has a son who will be 4 from a previous relationship. She did the same thing to him as you are doing to your boyfriend/fiance. But she pulled this stunt a couple months of dating.

She was on the depo shot, told him she went to get her shot, then a little over a month later "oops, i'm pregnant". He tried staying with her for the babies sake, but their relationship was beyond repairable and went their seperate ways. She is still mad at him to this day because he wouldn't marry her because of their son. Dispite their problems, he is a great father to their son and pays his child support on time every month.

Ask yourself this.. Why all of a sudden do you want to get pregnant? Is it because he's going to be gone for 3 months? Are you insecure? I'm not saying you are, but there are far too many women out there trying to get pregnant just so they can keep a boyfriend. It's just wrong.

Getting pregnant on purpose, when the man already says he's not ready will just bring in disaster. It takes 2 people to make a relationship work and all is based on honesty and trust. You are not giving him what he needs to make the relationship work.

I'd get back on the pill asap and tell your boyfriend the truth of what you've been doing. Hopefully he will forgive you. Good luck.
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slygirrl
replied on November 26th, 2005
New User
I kinda think you're wrong for that. You're trying to have a baby based on deception and that's not cool. What would he say if you were to get pregnant and then he found out you've been lying to him this whole time? Would he stay for the baby's sake? He might but the reality is is that he wouldn't. I don't know you or him but generally speaking people don't stay with people who lie and deceive them. Think long and hard about what's important to you. You could very well ruin what could be a lifelong realtionship by lying.
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oh_mommy
replied on November 26th, 2005
Supporter
Re: Reply
surrender wrote:
i'm 19, 20 in a month, and my bf is 26..Well, he's actually my fiance. And its not that he doesn't want kids, he just wants to wait a while for really stupid reasons (in my mind). He told me if I was preg he'd be happy but hed rather wait.


my bf said he wants to wait for awhile too so I know what that feels like. But still be faithful, think about it for awhile, think about the pros and cons and dont try to look more on the pros then anything. I did this and I realised he was right, and we should wait. So now we are waiting untill summer
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Lilypad
replied on November 26th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Getting pregnant should be consentual. Please dont manipulate this guy. It is so unfair.
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Tamadrummer
replied on November 26th, 2005
Active User, very eHealthy
To answer your original question. No it is not likly that you will be able to get the ejaculate from your belly to your vagina and then have it move from the outside of your vagina all the way to the cervix and then on up from there without most if not all dying.

What he is depositing when you are having sex before the main release is more than enough to get you pregnant. You are just wasting your time trying to put it back in you. He is wasting his time pulling out. It wont help protect you.
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Lilypad
replied on November 27th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Normal couples ttc only have 25%-30% chance ea month of conceiving...Your chance is probably much smaller with the route you have chosen to take..

Which is terrible by the way!!!!

So so wrong...
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dlisiouss
replied on November 28th, 2005
Experienced User
My bf didn't want a baby either... I got pregnant, 3 1/2 months into the pregnancy we got into a very bad fight... I hit him, he hit me back and it was bye, bye baby! I was hospitalized for a week and the baby really did bad on our relationship. Some things are worth waiting for... Trust me!
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karma5000
replied on December 29th, 2008
New User
Although this would be a total relationship ender, by law once the semen is our of his body it's considered trash and you can TECHNICALLY do whatever with it. That being said, I live in Canada. I've heard of cases where the father finds out and wins full custody of the child, he might leave you AND ask for the child. Not worth it.
I really want a child of my own, I live with my partner and his 4 year old daughter that we have won custody over from his kidnapping ex-wife (all this before any of us turned 25).
Kids are allot of work, yet seeing her every morning makes me want my own even more. He wants to wait until this house sells, most likely in a year the way the market is going. I'm in university, and even though it would hurt my schooling badly I still feel that it is time.
Having a miscarriage in a previous relationship hasn't helped with this yearning.
He has made promises to me about certain times (when we get the girl back, after Christmas, in feb..goes on and gets extended.) There will always be a reason that you are NOT ready for a child. No body really ever is, we just make do. I would suggest waiting longer. Being a mother is the most important thing to be, I'm very old fashioned it's what makes me me. Its our way in society.
What I did, I sat down with him and I said listen you've went back on your promises, I'm not getting younger and (name of kid) is getting older. We made a date and we are going to do this in june when she turns 5.. that means she will be almost 6 when the baby is born (sad for her, not a great playmate, unfortunately).
However before this date came into mind, I told him that I loved him dearly but that I have plans in my life and I would not put them aside forever for him. I had already decided I wanted to be a mother no later then 25 and that in 2 years if we did not have a child I would not be angry with him and I would not leave him. But that I would accept sperm donation from one of my male friend who also wants a child but does not want a relationship with anyone. This is the difference, my friend and I would have made the decision together..rather then lying to my partner and trapping him with a baby (yes it is entrapment whether or not you mean it to be).
Hope this helps
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