I'm 18 and I have known for the past
couple of years that I don't ever want to
have children. I have never been good
with children and I have such little
patience with them that it's almost
sickening, and with my lack of patience
with babies and children, I know very well
I couldn't ever be a good mother. I don't
want to bring a child into this world only
so it would end up getting neglected,
which I know would be what would happen
because of my hatred for children of all
ages.
I've made the decision that I want to
become totally sterile - I want a complete
hysterectomy and also have my ovaries
removed. I know for a fact that tubal
ligation is not 100% effective, and,
although it's very rare, leaving the
ovaries in the body could result in an
abdominal pregnancy. I want to take no
chances - I want to know that I could
someday be intimate with my boyfriend and
be able to relax and not have to worry
about conceiving because of faulty
contraception or because a minor operation
failed to stop conception.
Note, i'm not doing this for anyone else
but myself - my boyfriend didn't convince
me to do this, nor did any of my friends
or family members. I've made this
decision on my own, and once I acquire
enough money, i'm going to see if I can
undergo these 2 operations (definitely in
the far future since I just began college
about 2 months ago and have next to no
money anyway).
My question to you guys is this: will a
doctor perform these operations on me just
because I want to be sterile, or do I need
a reason to have a complete hysterectomy
and my ovaries removed, such as pcos,
endometriosis, cancer, etc.?
|
Carifairy
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Nov 2005 Posts: 2610 Location: Charlotte n.c.
Thanks: 12
Thanked:0
Posted: 11-25-05 00:08am
You can get a tubal ligation through a
womens health clinic (abortion clinic)
they charge about 1000$-1500$ I know it is
not 100% but it is a good start right? I
am in the nursing field, and unfortunately
few if any will do a complete hysterectomy
on a healthy female. If you are
interested in tubal ligation check out www.Gynpages.Com
they have lists of abortion clinics in
each state, and most of them offer tubal
ligation.
|
oopoopoop
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Mar 2004 Posts: 1251 Location: ,
Thanks: 43
Thanked:2
Posted: 11-25-05 06:44am
I thinkyou would have a major problem
getting a doctor to perform the surgery,
because they would not see any clinical
justification -- particularly for the
hysterectomy. You would also be strongly
advised not to have your ovaries removed.
You would need to be on hormone treatment
for the rest of your lift, as you would
basically be forced into menopause. Not a
good idea.
You will also most likely have real
trouble finding a doctor willing to
sterilise you at your age -- many women
who want to remain childfree have to
battle for a tubal even after they are 30
or 35 years old. Why is is considered
"normal" to want a child when you are 18,
but not to be sure you don't want one?
Why doesn't someone tell an 18 year old
not to have a child because she might
change her mind later? It's insane.
Nevertheless, although it is not 100%
guaranteed, you could still consider a
tubal. There are more brutal ways of
doing it so that the chance of it failing
are much smaller. The best thing would be
to have your husband or partner sterilised
as well, which should mean probably one
chance in 10,000 of anything getting
through!
Another new technique, which is supposed
to be even better and more effective, is
called essure. If you do a search, you
will find their website and more
information, and they will be able to
provide a list of the doctors who can do
it in your area. What this involves is
inserting tiny rods into the fallopian
tubes, which result in your body producing
scarring that means they are completely
blocked after 3 months. No eggs get out,
no sperm can get in, so no risk of ectopic
pregnancy either. I understand that it
appears to be 100% effective, and doesn't
involve any major surgery.
You may also want to google "childfree" to
find more interesting and supportive sites
for those who don't want children, or pm
me if you want some suggestions.
|
solar001
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Nov 2005 Posts: 82 Location: Weston, FL
Posted: 11-25-05 11:02am
Getting a complete hysterectomy will
basically put you through menopause at an
age that is way too early. Definitely
consider tubal litigation, my mom did it
shortly after I was born, which was at age
28, and even then the doctor was very
reluctant. You're making a wise decision
in not wanting a child that you know will
end up being neglected. Since most bcs
are only 96-99% effective, try a tubal
litigation, you'll still get a period but
you won't ovulate and you won't go
straight into menopause.
|
Cambion
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Nov 2005 Posts: 748
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 11-25-05 12:10pm
As I was reading about tubal ligation, I
did come across something about essure and
it sounded pretty good. I think i'll
consider doing that rather than my
original plan of having practically my
entire reproductive system removed. I
suppose I forgot to take into
consideration also the costs of both
operations.
Time to start saving, I guess. Thanks for
all your advice, guys - I appreciate
everyone's help a lot.
|
babykitty23
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Nov 2005 Posts: 26 Location: Florida
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 11-30-05 02:14am
I'm childfree by choice as well =)
in regards to getting your tubes tied,
good luck! Doctors are so afraid of
getting sued that it's really hard to find
one that will do a tubal or essure at our
ages. Beleive me, i've tried.
I've recently been looking up information
on an iud. It's supposed to be just as
effective, if not more so than a tubal or
essure. I've heard that it can make your
periods heavier, so if I did get it done,
i'd still take birth control to help with
that.
So if you can't get a doctor to do a
tubal, an iud would be a good second
option (i think...)
|
solar001
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Nov 2005 Posts: 82 Location: Weston, FL
Posted: 11-30-05 08:24am
Use bc with an iud? It's my understanding
that you're not supposed to combine
hormonal bc's, which is what you'd be
doing. Talk it over with your gyn.
Another fool-proof hormonal bc is
nuvaring, which is supposed to be 99%
effective. It's a once-a-month method.
You have the ring in your vagina for 3
weeks, take it out for one week, then
start the cycle over with a new ring. I
like it, and it's supposed to help lighten
your period as well. :) check it out www.Nuvaring.Com
|
babykitty23
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Nov 2005 Posts: 26 Location: Florida
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 11-30-05 13:53pm
solar001
wrote:
use bc with an iud? It's
my understanding that you're not supposed
to combine hormonal bc's, which is what
you'd be doing. Talk it over with your
gyn. Another fool-proof hormonal bc is
nuvaring, which is supposed to be 99%
effective. It's a once-a-month method.
You have the ring in your vagina for 3
weeks, take it out for one week, then
start the cycle over with a new ring. I
like it, and it's supposed to help lighten
your period as well. :) check it out
www.Nuvaring.Com
<
/tr>
i beleive there's an iud that is without
hormones, but, like I said, i'm still just
looking into it, and don't have that much
information on it.
But I am going to ask my doctor next visit
if I can do both at once, bc only to
regulate my periods.
I've never heard of the nuvaring though, I
might look up some info on that=)
|
solar001
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Nov 2005 Posts: 82 Location: Weston, FL
Posted: 11-30-05 22:12pm
Yeah, it came out in 2001. It's very
simple and comfortable. Everyone reacts
differently to it though. It's great not
having to remember a pill everyday, I
would fail miserably at that one. It's a
bit pricey though, especially since
there's no generic brand for it yet. I
get mine at the univ. For $12, but at the
reg. Pharmacy they were going to charge
me $30, with my insurance. But yeah, I
like it thus far.
|
fatfamily02
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 3050 Location: Georgia, USA
Re: I Want to Become Sterile Posted: 11-30-05 22:38pm
cambion
wrote:
i'm 18 and I have known for
the past couple of years that I don't ever
want to have children. I have never been
good with children and I have such little
patience with them that it's almost
sickening, and with my lack of patience
with babies and children, I know very well
I couldn't ever be a good mother. I
don't want to bring a child into this
world only so it would end up getting
neglected, which I know would be what
would happen because of my hatred for
children of all ages.
I've made the decision that I want to
become totally sterile - I want a complete
hysterectomy and also have my ovaries
removed. I know for a fact that tubal
ligation is not 100% effective, and,
although it's very rare, leaving the
ovaries in the body could result in an
abdominal pregnancy. I want to take no
chances - I want to know that I could
someday be intimate with my boyfriend and
be able to relax and not have to worry
about conceiving because of faulty
contraception or because a minor operation
failed to stop conception.
Note, i'm not doing this for anyone else
but myself - my boyfriend didn't convince
me to do this, nor did any of my friends
or family members. I've made this
decision on my own, and once I acquire
enough money, i'm going to see if I can
undergo these 2 operations (definitely in
the far future since I just began college
about 2 months ago and have next to no
money anyway).
My question to you guys is this: will a
doctor perform these operations on me just
because I want to be sterile, or do I need
a reason to have a complete hysterectomy
and my ovaries removed, such as pcos,
endometriosis, cancer,
etc.?
even an uncaring and impatient person will
change when they get pregnant. So, you
might want to rethink this before you do
something you cannot change. And most
dr's wont give full hysterectomy to young
women(i was 25), and they didnt even want
to tie my tubes at 24 unless they knew for
sure I really wantd it. On the
hysterectomy they left my ovaries and
tube--
|
oopoopoop
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Mar 2004 Posts: 1251 Location: ,
Thanks: 43
Thanked:2
Re: I Want to Become Sterile Posted: 12-01-05 18:08pm
fatfamily02
wrote:
even an uncaring and impatient person will
change when they get pregnant. So, you
might want to rethink this before you do
something you cannot change.
-
yep - some become more uncaring and more
impatient...Hardly worth taking the risk,
is it? It's not like there's much point
in having one if you don't like them,
don't want them, and don't think there's
any obligation on you to have one.
|
fatfamily02
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 3050 Location: Georgia, USA
Posted: 12-01-05 19:33pm
True, but.....
A lot of pple dont even know themselves
yet. If she truly dont want them, I dont
expect her to have any--i am just trying
to say--she may not truly know what she
wants yet. May not know herself yet.
I know a lot of teenagers who dont think
they like kids--not wanting to be burdened
by them, but it could also be because they
have had them in their face--cuz mom had a
pre menopause baby. They have to babsit
and stuff. Im just trying to get her to
know herself for sure first-- before she
does something she would regret
|
oopoopoop
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Mar 2004 Posts: 1251 Location: ,
Thanks: 43
Thanked:2
Posted: 12-02-05 06:48am
fatfamily02
wrote:
true, but.....
A lot of pple dont even know themselves
yet. If she truly dont want them, I dont
expect her to have any--i am just trying
to say--she may not truly know what she
wants yet. May not know herself yet.
I know a lot of teenagers who dont think
they like kids--not wanting to be burdened
by them, but it could also be because they
have had them in their face--cuz mom had a
pre menopause baby. They have to babsit
and stuff. Im just trying to get her
to know herself for sure first-- before
she does something she would
regret
isn't it funny -- I just keep seeing all
the teenagers who *do* want kids -- why do
they know their own minds and someone who
hates kids doesn't?
There's a lot of people who have kids due
to pressure from society or partners, and
they regret it. There is a big
difference between not being keen, and
knowing you don't want any, and if someone
is looking into getting sterilised before
they have any, you can bet they are pretty
sure. Incidentally -- only the tiniest
proportion of childfree people who are
sterilised seek reversals -- a far higher
proportion of parents who get sterilised
regret it later. Wanting to remain
childfree is a fundamental orientation,
not a passing fancy.
|
nightangel73
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2487 Location: ,
Thanks: 14
Thanked:10
Posted: 12-02-05 19:34pm
I can understand her desire of not wanting
children and I agree with her that it is a
fundamental orientation. I worked with a
lady in my past job who felt exactly like
her and she never had the children and she
is 50 and grateful she didn't had them.
She always used the pill so she told me.
The tubal seems to be the best option for
you. An iud would be a good second option
but doctors don't want to prescribe iud's
to women who has never had a child because
of the possibility of your uterus
rejecting it (would cause too much
bleeding/pain). And second because your
uterus may bee to small to fit the iud
(again this because of that of never
having a child) iud's are the best
options after having a child.
Your challenge will be just trying to get
a doctor do to you a tubal. If there are
plenty doctors willing to do abortions I
don't see why they wouldn't do a tubal.
If no doctor wants to do it then oh well
just stick to the regular options like
pills or condoms, nuvaring whatever.
I want to make a note on nuvaring. The
drawback of the nuvaring is that of when
you have sex you need to be watching it
cause it can fall off and if you don't
notice and let 3 hours pass by you are
screwed. Just wanted to let you know.
|
solar001
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Nov 2005 Posts: 82 Location: Weston, FL
Posted: 12-04-05 09:29am
Yeah, I knew about it falling out during
sex. But you must admit that it does have
that pro over the pill that you don't have
to remember it everyday.
True, but.....
A lot of pple dont even know themselves
yet. If she truly dont want them, I dont
expect her to have any--i am just trying
to say--she may not truly know what she
wants yet. May not know herself yet.
I know a lot of teenagers who dont think
they like kids--not wanting to be burdened
by them, but it could also be because they
have had them in their face--cuz mom had a
pre menopause baby. They have to babsit
and stuff. Im just trying to get her to
know herself for sure first-- before she
does something she would regret
as for her not wanting babies. I have to
say that I absolutely applaud cambion for
confronting the fact that she doens't want
them. And it's true, many people become
more impatient with them if they have
them. Having your own baby in your hands
and seeing those "little eyes" will only
make you melt for about a week, then
reality sinks in. Having a baby is about
raising a child into a full-functioning
person, not just being goo-goo-gaa-gaa
with a baby for one year. This is what
upsets me about people trying to convince
others that they really will want a baby
when they look at their own. I'm not on
the same boat as cambion, I actually want
at least 5, but that's because I love
educating, playing with and disciplining
children of all ages. If she feels she
isn't capable, then hell, my hat goes off
to her for admitting it and taking the
necessary steps.
And I stand by my nuvaring suggestion.
She may have problems getting an iud, and
if she forgets her pill just once, she's
basically screwed for the rest of the
month, if she's on the patch, she might
have trouble with blood clots, or get
annoyed at the super-sensitive method.
Nuvaring is something you only think about
once a month. It's also no trouble to
just double check that it's still in after
sex, and if anything, just take it out and
set an alarm for 2 hours later and put it
back in. I usually double-check myself
everyday or so in the shower, it's no
trouble and i'd rather do that than take a
pill everyday.
|
Amber1983
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 58 Location: Moved from Alaska to Cape Coral, Fl
Posted: 12-06-05 19:18pm
The iud is just as effective as getting
your tubes cut/burned ect.. I have the
iud without any hormones and it can stay
in for 10 years, plus it it cheeper then
getting your tubes tied. Having to get a
new one every 10 years doesn't seem that
bad. I know u don't want any kids at
all, but what if 20 years in the future
something changes your mind? At least
you could get the iud out. The only
thing I can think of though, i'm not sure
if you can get the iud without having a
baby or not. Btw I hated kids too,
before I get pregnant. What kinda funny
though, I still dislike kids, other than
my own, lol. I hate babysitting, they
are all snot nosed brats, I just don't
like them, but I love my kids to death and
wouldn't trade them for nothing.
|
nightangel73
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2487 Location: ,
Thanks: 14
Thanked:10
Posted: 12-06-05 21:31pm
amber1983
wrote:
the iud is just as effective
as getting your tubes cut/burned ect.. I
have the iud without any hormones and it
can stay in for 10 years, plus it it
cheeper then getting your tubes tied.
Having to get a new one every 10 years
doesn't seem that bad. I know u don't
want any kids at all, but what if 20 years
in the future something changes your mind?
At least you could get the iud out.
The only thing I can think of though, i'm
not sure if you can get the iud without
having a baby or not. Btw I hated kids
too, before I get pregnant. What kinda
funny though, I still dislike kids, other
than my own, lol. I hate babysitting,
they are all snot nosed brats, I just
don't like them, but I love my kids to
death and wouldn't trade them for
nothing.
hehehe I have heard that of people who say
they don't like kids. Except when they
are theirs. That must be biological
instict I think.
The iud seems like the best deal and I
will absolutetly look for that after I
ever have a child. I think the risk of
the iud is that of the ectopic pregancies
but I don't know what are the myths with
respect to that issue. I would like to
haven an iud now but oh well I don't
qualify (never had children). What a
nurse practioner told me once is that she
said that a uterus that has never had a
child doesn't like anything in it so
putting an iud will cause too much
bleeding/pain. I guess with a liberal
doctor that may want to try and see I
could get it. I would think that at least
if the uterus gives a good measure to fit
the iud a doctor might give a try.
I assume you have the paragard iud amber?
Do you get your periods monthly?
I'm a happy pill user. I take the pill
after I brush my teeth in the morning so
it's a habit alerady, I never forget. I
think something like the nuvaring would
not work for me because I forget easier
once a month than everyday hehe. But the
most I like of the pill is that it does
keep me in shape. I don't know how that
chemistry of the hormones is with my body
but I truly get overweight easily if I
stop them which is interesting cause most
I hear is that bc pill actually can make
one gain weight.
|
Amber1983
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 58 Location: Moved from Alaska to Cape Coral, Fl
Posted: 12-07-05 10:25am
I'm not sure what my iud is. It's the
one that has no hormones, insted it has
copper on it. I think it's called the
copper t or something like that. I
wanted it because it can stay in for up to
10 years, but the hormone one only lasts 5
years. It has been great and I love it,
the only side effect I have has is heaver
bleeding, but it my peroids only last
about 3 days. I would defently recomend
it, it's great not having to worry about
the hormone side effects or having to take
a pill everyday (i couldn't remember for
the life of me)
|
acoles70
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 191 Location: KY
Posted: 12-21-05 15:23pm
I for one hope all the people who want to
remain childfree find someway to not get
pregnant. I would hate for innocent
children to be brought into their lives.
|
babykitty23
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Nov 2005 Posts: 26 Location: Florida
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 12-21-05 15:55pm
acoles70
wrote:
i for one hope all the
people who want to remain childfree find
someway to not get pregnant. I would
hate for innocent children to be brought
into their
lives.
although I think you meant for this to be
a rude comment, I would like for doctors
to do their jobs, and give people a tubal
if their patient asks for one. I've tried
to get a tubal from a few doctors, only to
be told "i'm too young..." bleh, i'm 23, I
know what I want, and i'm sure the op
knows what she wants too!
And who says we're going to keep babies if
we do get pregnant, there are other
options lady...
