Dating Someone Older & Marriage Posted: 11-26-05 23:50pm
Hi everyone,
first, I must say that at first I felt a
little 'guilty' for even just searching
this on the internet. But, I am confused
about my relationship, and have no one to
talk to... But after reading some of the
posts here, I know i'm not alone, and that
love is not always just happiness &
joy.
Well, so here is my story. I'm a male,
25 yrs of age; my girlfriend will be
turning 37 in a month. We met &
started dating 2 years ago. I know some
of you will say "date someone your age ...
Etc." the thing is I had a lot of female
friends around my same age, but never fell
in love with any of them. I even had a
couple of friends who liked me, but I
didnt like them. But when I met my
girlfriend, it was like love at first
sight. There was just so much chemistry
between us and we get along so good.
Now the thing is that she has asked me on
a couple of ocassions if I would marry
her. I had never thought about getting
married at this age ... And to be quite
frank, marriage kind of scares me. She's
not pushing me, but she wants an honest
answer from me. And the thing of it is,
I dont know. Given the age difference, I
dont want to waste her time, because if
she has a chance to get married and be
happy I dont want to stand on her way.
At the same time, I love her a lot! And
I have considered marrying her, because I
love her, but it's just such a big
decision in my life. I'm just scared to
make the wrong decision.
On the few times that we have touched the
subject, we always end up hurt. Because
she says that I don't love her enough to
want to marry her. I tell her that I
just don't feel ready.
I guess now I sort of see why age
difference might matter in a relationship.
She's ready to settle down; i'm bearly
starting up in my career and don't feel
ready for that big step. But, at the end
of the day, we love each other.
Thanks for just letting me vent ... I
just needed to let these feelings/emotions
out. Your advise is welcome.
|
Jessica_CF20
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2005 Posts: 207 Location: NM
Re: Dating Someone Older & Marriage Posted: 11-27-05 19:30pm
tommy05
wrote:
hi everyone,
first, I must say that at first I felt a
little 'guilty' for even just searching
this on the internet. But, I am
confused about my relationship, and have
no one to talk to... But after reading
some of the posts here, I know i'm not
alone, and that love is not always just
happiness & joy.
Well, so here is my story. I'm a male,
25 yrs of age; my girlfriend will be
turning 37 in a month. We met &
started dating 2 years ago. I know some
of you will say "date someone your age ...
Etc." the thing is I had a lot of
female friends around my same age, but
never fell in love with any of them. I
even had a couple of friends who liked me,
but I didnt like them. But when I met
my girlfriend, it was like love at first
sight. There was just so much chemistry
between us and we get along so good.
Now the thing is that she has asked me on
a couple of ocassions if I would marry
her. I had never thought about getting
married at this age ... And to be quite
frank, marriage kind of scares me.
She's not pushing me, but she wants an
honest answer from me. And the thing of
it is, I dont know. Given the age
difference, I dont want to waste her time,
because if she has a chance to get married
and be happy I dont want to stand on her
way.
At the same time, I love her a lot! And
I have considered marrying her, because I
love her, but it's just such a big
decision in my life. I'm just scared to
make the wrong decision.
On the few times that we have touched the
subject, we always end up hurt. Because
she says that I don't love her enough to
want to marry her. I tell her that I
just don't feel ready.
I guess now I sort of see why age
difference might matter in a relationship.
She's ready to settle down; i'm bearly
starting up in my career and don't feel
ready for that big step. But, at the
end of the day, we love each other.
Thanks for just letting me vent ... I
just needed to let these feelings/emotions
out. Your advise is
welcome.
ok this is what I think ...If your not
ready dont do it this is a 100 % wanting
to do step ok I can understand why she
wants to get married but if she is really
i_n_ love with you not just loves you then
she will understand but the biggest
concern I had with your post is you stated
"and the thing of it is, I
dont know. Given the age difference, I
dont want to waste her time, because if
she has a chance to get married and be
happy I dont want to stand on her way."
this is a huge red flag honey because even
though your not ready for marriage if your
thinking in that direction I dont think
that this is truly the person you are
supposed to marry it sounds that you love
her so much and she seems to love you but
are you two i_n_ love ? You need to talk
to her honestly all the things you feel I
know that is hard sometimes but it will
help it may also hurt but that I guess is
the way of life. Overall my opinion is
if you really love her and she loves you
you should wait for marriage and see if
that is what is best never jump into
things your not 100% sure about I hope you
respond and keep me posted
with lots of concern
jessica
|
Lilypad
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Oct 2005 Posts: 1043 Location: Ohio, USA
Posted: 01-10-06 10:31am
For me deciding to marry my now husband
was the easiest decision of my life! Now
the wedding thats another story because I
am chronically indecisive by nature.
If you arent 100% sure just wait. If you
are going to be together for the rest of
your life then waiting awhile to make it
official wont change anything in the long
run. But getting married to the wrong
peron can be so so painful and expensive.
Take you r time.
|
wife_and_mom4life
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Dec 2005 Posts: 53 Location: Amherst VA
Re: Dating Someone Older & Marriage Posted: 01-17-06 18:05pm
tommy05
wrote:
hi everyone,
first, I must say that at first I felt a
little 'guilty' for even just searching
this on the internet. But, I am
confused about my relationship, and have
no one to talk to... But after reading
some of the posts here, I know i'm not
alone, and that love is not always just
happiness & joy.
Well, so here is my story. I'm a male,
25 yrs of age; my girlfriend will be
turning 37 in a month. We met &
started dating 2 years ago. I know some
of you will say "date someone your age ...
Etc." the thing is I had a lot of
female friends around my same age, but
never fell in love with any of them. I
even had a couple of friends who liked me,
but I didnt like them. But when I met
my girlfriend, it was like love at first
sight. There was just so much chemistry
between us and we get along so good.
Now the thing is that she has asked me on
a couple of ocassions if I would marry
her. I had never thought about getting
married at this age ... And to be quite
frank, marriage kind of scares me.
She's not pushing me, but she wants an
honest answer from me. And the thing of
it is, I dont know. Given the age
difference, I dont want to waste her time,
because if she has a chance to get married
and be happy I dont want to stand on her
way.
At the same time, I love her a lot! And
I have considered marrying her, because I
love her, but it's just such a big
decision in my life. I'm just scared to
make the wrong decision.
On the few times that we have touched the
subject, we always end up hurt. Because
she says that I don't love her enough to
want to marry her. I tell her that I
just don't feel ready.
I guess now I sort of see why age
difference might matter in a relationship.
She's ready to settle down; i'm bearly
starting up in my career and don't feel
ready for that big step. But, at the
end of the day, we love each other.
Thanks for just letting me vent ... I
just needed to let these feelings/emotions
out. Your advise is
welcome.
hi tommy! How are you? My name is teresa
and it is nice to meet you! Age is just a
number! (unless you are like a 30 year
old dating a 14 year old). Anyways, some
people may say (or may really be) they are
100% sure of the person they married, but
that is not always the case. I wasn't
100% sure when I married my husband,
because I was afraid of the big step like
you are, I was afriad that maybe something
would go wrong and we'd divorce. Look,
nobody (even the ones that are 100% sure)
goes into a marriage thinking hmmmm i'll
stay married for a year or so and then get
a divorce... It just happens. I had to
ask myself these questions. 1. Do I love
this person with all of my heart and soul.
2. Can I see myself with someone else.
3. Do I really feel that I can't live
without this person. And finally 4. Do
all of the good times we spend together
out way the bad.
I answered yes to all of these questions
and got married this past september. They
say that the first 5 years of marriage are
the worst, but all it really takes is love
and communication. Ask youself those
questions and if you answer no to any of
them then you should think more about
marriage. Also, pray about it! Is this
what .God has planned for your life?
God bless and good luck,
teresa
"for .God did not give us the spirit of
fear, but of power, love and a sound
mind." 2nd timothy 1:7
|
Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Re: Dating Someone Older & Marriage Posted: 02-03-06 15:50pm
Quote:
also, pray
about it! Is this what .God has planned
for your life?
God bless and good luck,
teresa
"for .God did not give us the spirit of
fear, but of power, love and a sound
mind." 2nd timothy
1:7
i think they are right.Ask yourself those
questions.Age does not matter. The only
thing that matters is what the 2 of you
want.If you love each other and want to be
together for the rest of your life then it
won't matter how long it takes you to get
married,explain that to her!
