Well, hi. I'm in bit of trouble. I'm 16
and I think i'm pregnant. I slept with my
boyfriend (love of my life) for the first
time ever 2 weekends ago. And now i'm 5
days late on my period. We used a condom,
but ended up doing it again without.
Stupid, yes, i'm sitting here crying. I
live in a small community, so I have to go
out of town to see a doctor, which means
telling my mom (whom I dont get along
with) why I need to go, in order to get a
ride. I can not tell my mom. I'm
thinking about going to my sister who
lives in a larger city, and getting her
help. My only option is an abortion. I
can not have this child (if I am indeed
pregnant) I dont know whether to tell my
boyfriend. I'm sure he'd supprt my
decision, seeing as weve discussed it, but
I dont want to upset him. Please help me
with any advise, but if you're going to
tell me that abortion is homicide then
dont bother, your comment will be
immediatly deleted.
Sarah :cry:
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MUNIE4LIFE
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Nov 2005 Posts: 37 Location: CA,LA
Posted: 11-29-05 02:13am
First of all that would be the best thing
to do . Hell na girl why should ur baby
pay for the price when it was ur fault,im
just 14 and had se and im not pregnant ur
stupid but ell if you cant have it then
jut dont and do what you gotta do but when
you do have children youll see them and
regret cause that baby could of been alive
but if yo cant have it like I said abort
it
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19mommy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Oct 2005 Posts: 179
Posted: 11-29-05 13:20pm
Munie4life, I dont think she asked you
whether or not she was stupid, and you
have no right to call her that. Abortion
is not the easy way out sarahmarie, you
can be in an even worse situation then you
started with. Take and test and see you
if you are, if you are then you should
make the desicion that is best for you,
and the baby. I do believe that a child
should not suffer because of the
immaturity of the parent, but if you
believe u can handle the guilt and pain of
an abortion go right ahead. But before
you do look at the procedure and think
about your options before you make any
hasty decisions.P.L.E.A.S.E keep an open
mind
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Kourtney08
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 May 2004 Posts: 937 Location: Alaska
Posted: 11-29-05 19:53pm
munie4life
wrote:
first of all that would be
the best thing to do . Hell na girl why
should ur baby pay for the price when it
was ur fault,im just 14 and had se and im
not pregnant ur stupid but ell if you cant
have it then jut dont and do what you
gotta do but when you do have children
youll see them and regret cause that baby
could of been alive but if yo cant have it
like I said abort
it
wow, i'm just going to shake my head, and
feel sorry for you.
|
diamondsz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2005 Posts: 3173 Location: , Candyland-Canada
Thanks: 73
Thanked:104
Posted: 11-29-05 20:12pm
Your body your choice
I just want to ask a question why are
you guys having sex at such a young age
under 16, im 21 but most or all of my
friends was all after their sweet
sixteen...........
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diamondsz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2005 Posts: 3173 Location: , Candyland-Canada
Thanks: 73
Thanked:104
Posted: 11-30-05 08:09am
Sex is supposed to be with someone you
actually care about and hopefull the other
person feels the same, I got married in my
teens and so im just wondering why I never
came here to judge im just curious.
Hey munie if you dont want get pregnant
they why are you having sex???
Do you live on your own?
Do you have a job?
Do you have healthcare?
Do you have patience and maturity to
handle a child?
There are so many questions to ask if
you are ready for sex because nothing is
guranteed 100% that you wont have a child
if your sexually active.......I got
pregnant off the pill and not once did I
regret it, it was kinda soon since my
daughter was 8 mths when I concieved this
one but ill have to live with it and love
both my children........
Sarah you should talk to your mom, cause
if you do end up wanting this child or get
attached she maybe your best line of
support and if you end up having an
abortion she maybe just as supporting on
that issue as well.
Im 21 and my mom got ticked when she found
out I was prego with #2 and didnt talk to
me for a week but she called me back up
and apologized because she should have
been more understanding when she has had
6. I love my mom and no matter how
ticked she is with me she always explains
why and explains that I am her child and
she will never stop loving me whether I be
married or not....
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ryansmommy16
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Nov 2005 Posts: 72 Location: alabama
Posted: 11-30-05 15:48pm
Okay I do not agree with abortion for any
reason except the health of the mother!
But let me tell you there are other
choices than abortion just b/c you don't
get a long with your mom and stuff. Trust
me I even thought about it when I was
prego but I didn't believe in it so a
thought was all it was. If your boyfriend
is the love of your life why don't you
want to have his baby? I just don't know
why ppl have sex and can't live with the
concenquences. I got through it and I was
in a bad situation. I am still alive
healthy and I have a beautiful baby boy.
I am happy and can't imagine what my life
would be like if I got rid of my baby. I
would suggest if you are not pregnant to
not have sex ever again b/c you have
showed that you can not take responsiblity
for your action. Oh and are you kidding
me.. Not telling "the love of your life"
that you killed his baby. Must not love
him to much.. Would you not tell him b/c
he might be mad at you and want you to
keep his baby? Well anyways I done with
this..
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shugar
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Nov 2005 Posts: 12
Posted: 11-30-05 16:19pm
I dont agree with abortion only adoption.
I gave up my 1st born. Hardest thing I
ever done but it was teh best thiong
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sarahmarie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Nov 2005 Posts: 21
Me Again Posted: 11-30-05 20:43pm
Just so u all know, its me, and I got my
period, so false alarm. But also, I did
end up telling my boyfriend, who supported
my decision, whatever it would have been.
I told my best friend, who was going to
get her boyfriend to help me out by
driving me to the docs, and to an abortion
clinic if need be. And the reason I wasnt
going to have it was because i"m not old
enough to have kids! And my bf and I
talked it over today after I told him it
was false, and he and I agreed to hold off
on sex, to avoid another situation like
this.
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xxannie1011xx
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Dec 2005 Posts: 5 Location: Milford PA
Posted: 12-02-05 13:11pm
Hey listen, I am a 17 year old girl, who
is having to maybe make the same decision.
I had sex with my boyfriend of 7 months a
little over 2 weeks ago, and am starting
to wonder if I got pregant. My boyfriend
and I discussed what would happen if this
ever happened, and like you abortion is on
my mind. My mom always told me that no
matter what she'd be there for me if
something like this happened. Granted, me
and her aren't the best of friends, but if
I know I cant have a baby (like you). You
should most def. Talk to her. My best
friend had a baby last year, and had to
give her away because ofcourse she couldnt
handle that. She turned 16 the day before
she had the baby. Personally, I think
that you should discuss it with your
boyfriend, just because it's half his
fault that this happened to you. Anywho,
I just think that the best option is that
you talk to your mom and bf... Once you
are 100% sure that you are preggers.
Otherwise, don't stress too much. That
will only make the situation worse. And
as for all the people that are pro-life, I
agree that abortion shouldnt be used, but
as a last resort, espically being this
young, is accectable.
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Kourtney08
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 May 2004 Posts: 937 Location: Alaska
Posted: 12-02-05 18:36pm
munie4life
wrote:
!@#^ you health
question
hahahahaha, now I just feel even more
sorry for you.
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Cambion
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Nov 2005 Posts: 736 Location: Earth
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 12-02-05 21:10pm
It's good to hear that you got your period
to put your mind mroe at ease about your
situation. I don't intend to scare you or
anything, sarahmarie, but you could be
pregnant and still be getting your period
- it can and does happen sometimes.
I hate to vent about my views on abortion,
but I will just a little for the sake of
the topic. I'm wholly pro-choice - I
believe it is up to the mother to decide
whether or not she wants to have a child.
If you decide that it just is not the
right time in your life to have a child,
or you feel that you couldn't give it the
proper care both during pregnancy and
after birth, then abortion could be the
only choice. And what I mean by the
proper care during pregnancy is such
things like if you drink, smoke, or do
drugs, and you know you couldn't stop even
if you knew you had a baby growing inside
you. I'm not saying you do any of this,
but i'm just stating an example.
Trust me, hon...I know how it can be when
you're caught up in the heat of the moment
- you'll forget to use protection, or
you'll figure that one time without it
won't hurt. I can only advise you that,
when you think you want to start having
sex again, that you try to get on some
kind of birth control as well as utilizing
a condom. It's not 100% effective, but
it'll protect you pretty well, and you'll
at least have a back-up method of
contraception in the event you forget the
condom again.
It's good, though, that you spoke to your
boyfriend about all of this - he probably
would have been upset with you if you went
and had an abortion without telling him.
It's good to know that he would be willing
to support you no matter what, and also
that he is willing to hold off on sex for
a while so you guys can avoid another big
scare like this. He sounds like a good
guy.
|
Pathfinder
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Dec 2005 Posts: 1
Posted: 12-03-05 02:23am
Dear sarah marie,
cambion may have some wisdom for us.
Planning to avoid sex is certainly the
most effective method of birth control.
The problem with planning abstinance is
that other preparations for possible
situations of emotional intensity, might
be overlooked. The more combinations of
preventive measures, the more effective
the birht control.
Most everyone would like to avoid the
anxiety of any type of abortion. The
more combinations of birth control
products you have available, the more
assurances you can have. Even for just
heavy petting, it is a good idea to have
used some contraceptive gel or foam, etc.
Is there any place you could stash some
prophylactic products?
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AriellaGrimm
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 120
Posted: 12-03-05 10:44am
I know what you mean about being in a
small community. Ask the other people
here, I was a .M.E.S.S when I first came
here. I was 6 months pregnant and hadn't
told anyone yet, so you can imagine how
painful it was... Anyway, I just wanted
to offer any help I can for you. If
there's anything you need to know about
how I told my family, or how the community
responded, please pm me and i'll help you.
I don't want you to have to go through
this alone like I did. I'm willing to
help you anytime.
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OaTmEaLfAiRy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Oct 2005 Posts: 192 Location: Iowa
Posted: 12-04-05 10:53am
Ok, I want munie4life to just shut up!
My sister was sort of in your situation
about a month ago. Except that she was 17
(and she's since turned 18). She just
wanted the whole pregnancy to go away. So
she figured it was best to go have an
abortion (that and "the boy" was
pressuring her into it) and she's never
been close to my mother or me so when we
were like, "it's not going to go away
after an abortion! Think about this,
don't do it for him!" she didn't listen.
It took only about a day to finally sink
in after she did it. She has said
herself, "i hate myself now that i've
killed something." she is now out partying
and screwing up bigger than ever.
So, I am begging you to seriously consider
adoption if you can't raise the baby
yourself. If you're afraid of what people
will think, they'll despise someone who
has had an abortion more than they'll hate
a pregnant teen. The "what if's" will be
around forever if you have an abortion,
but if you have an open adoption you can
be the "auntie" that comes around every
once in a while and in most cases, all
your medical bills and such will be paid
for by the family. There are even some
people who have the mother stay with them
for the entire pregnancy, everything gets
paid for. It's like a vacation for the
birth mother and the adoptive parents can
be there for the birth. I've heard of
people having their "neice" come visit to
give birth, and if anybody asks back home
you could say you were visiting family or
went on vacation or something like that.
If this is too close for you, you can
certainly get like a few pictures and a
letter updating you on how your child is
doing. The baby hasn't done anything
wrong, it shouldn't be punished for this.
But you can give your child the life that
you couldn't provide for it.
Just, please don't say (or show), "it's
easier for me to kill you than to wave
goodbye."
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MUNIE4LIFE
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Nov 2005 Posts: 37 Location: CA,LA
Posted: 12-04-05 16:36pm
I aint got time 4 this caca I am right
when I say abortion is wrong no matter
what anyone says but im out I aint helping
no oe else but then again no offence who
the medical question told her to really
the first place if you gonna medical
question you should know the results to it
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