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Q: I Am Shocked And Worried About the Teenage Sex Problem

asked by: cece22221 on November 30th, 2005

New User

I am pretty new to this forum and have been going through and reading some of the posts. I am completely shocked and scared by the number of teenagers making posts here. I am not oblivious to the fact that teenagers have sex, but my goodness. Don't you kids know the risks? Are they no longer teaching sex ed in schools? Where are all your parents in this. I know that at the of 15 or even older for that matter I didn't even know what a blow job or 69 was and now all you guys are having sex. I mean I did my fair share of making out, but the thought of sex never really occurred to me until later in life. I was 18 when I had sex for the first time. I can't even begin to comprehend handling all the drama of teenage life and then throw something this big into the picture. I have a 10 yr old son and the thought of him having sex in the next few years totally makes me want to vomit. No wonder our nation is falling apart. The kids that are having kids aren't ready to be parents. I am not claiming to be perfect. I got pregnant at 19, but there is a lifetime between 19 and 15. And I learned at a very young age how to take care of kids. I always had that instinct but at 15 what can a girl or boy for that matter offer a baby, they are just babies themselves. As far as that goes what can they honestly offer eachother?

Thanks for letting me rant and rave. I just couldn't get past all the teenage posts on here. Makes me soooooooooooooooo angry!!!!!!

Stacey

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Replies(51)

leigh10

replied on November 30th, 2005

New User

Also Very Shocked

I am so glad that you said something because I am also new to this forum and can not believe the amount of posts from teenagers. I realize that they are only looking for information and should not be criticized, but I am still just stunned by some of the questions they are asking, not to mention the behavior they are engaging in. I went to private schools and received very little sex education, but even so........My parents sat me down as a little girl and told me "where babies come from". I am 23 years old and consider my self very young......Yet some of these girls are 9 years younger than me! I have only had sex with 3 people (one of them is my hubby!) and the first time was not until I was 18 and a freshman in college. I can not imagine dealing with the type of situations these girls are going through at such a young age. I am 9 weeks pg with my first child and I am already scared to death of all the problems and issues he or she will have to face in the future. I can only hope and pray that my husband and I can teach him or her the values that our parents taught us as children. It is very sad, and I do wonder where their parents are.

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chanee

replied on November 30th, 2005

Experienced User

I kinda of agree i'm 22 and this about to be my second child hehe .I'm very happy about that but some of these questions are crazy.I think they want to voice the opinions without being judged but i'm scared for them cause they are the future.And if they are all pregnant or have bad std's were doomed right.I really can't talk about them much cause I was one of them I met my hubby at 16 he put me through high school. My mom was crack addict and my dad was sexualing abusing me so I had no one to tell me nothing.But I think I got lucky.I had my son at 19 and i'm in college now.I know I don't matter.But in a way I see where their coming from.I think their looking for love in all the wrong places.Thxs for listening.I'm not here to judge.But good luck all
good bless
chanee

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19mommy

replied on November 30th, 2005

Experienced User

Im sorry but I do not agree, many teenagers are immature, and they do stupid things but do not generalize every teen parent and the same category. There is only a 4 year difference b/w 15 and 19 and some people do not grow up much within thoes years. Yet some people are beyond their years in maturity. No one can say teens having sex is the reason for socitey crumbling, because teens have always been haveing sex, just not as open about it. Adults have sex, and since they are considered "adults" they feel they can have as much sex with whom ever they choose to giving their babies aids, having crack babies, premature baby's due to their stupidity, yet so do teenagers. But who are you to talk about teens having sex to be a disgusting thing? Its a form of their love, whether they are sure they are in love or not, just like adults. When an adult expresses their love by engaging in sexual activities, no one seems to have a problem with that, yet it is a national problem for teens to do so. Dont judge any teen mom, or any teenager that has sex, because unless you've meet all of them, you can not generalize them.

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diamondsz

replied on November 30th, 2005

Extremely eHealthy

Most of us all had sex in our teen years

I have to agree with everyone here we all know the possibilities with sex; stds, pregnancy and not being ready menatally......

Im 21 and having a second child, there are somedays im mature and somedays im just silly and feel like a teen but no matter what I take care of my child and I waited until marriage to have one that was agreed upon by both parties. I will not judge a teen mom because some of them got off theri butts and did something for their child while, yes their is some who milk the system but not every teen mom is the same.....

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chanee

replied on November 30th, 2005

Experienced User

First of all 19mommy dont put me in labels with others they have a point I said I kinda agree cause I was were these are now not too long ago.I'm only saying they have to be more conscience get more resources like this place to understand using their bodies to get love is not the right way I thought I was but I was wrong.As they will see when they grow up somemore.I try not to judge ppl but what they do but for who they are and should too good luck god bless
chanee

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michelle1981

replied on November 30th, 2005

Supporter

Well said barbara!

Like jess said, most of us have sex in our teens and in reality aren't mentally mature to handle the consequences.....But it happens! Some take responsibility and grow up quick, while others don't......That also goes for women in their 30's and 40's.

For cece... It's the past, present and future.....Sex.....It'll happen whether or not our eyes are open.

Just keep in mind, you were where they are now!

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cece22221

replied on November 30th, 2005

New User

19mommy wrote:

im sorry but I do not agree, many teenagers are immature, and they do stupid things but do not generalize every teen parent and the same category. There is only a 4 year difference b/w 15 and 19 and some people do not grow up much within thoes years. Yet some people are beyond their years in maturity. No one can say teens having sex is the reason for socitey crumbling, because teens have always been haveing sex, just not as open about it. Adults have sex, and since they are considered "adults" they feel they can have as much sex with whom ever they choose to giving their babies aids, having crack babies, premature baby's due to their stupidity, yet so do teenagers. But who are you to talk about teens having sex to be a disgusting thing? Its a form of their love, whether they are sure they are in love or not, just like adults. When an adult expresses their love by engaging in sexual activities, no one seems to have a problem with that, yet it is a national problem for teens to do so. Dont judge any teen mom, or any teenager that has sex, because unless you've meet all of them, you can not generalize them.

i was not generalizing every teen.. There certainly are a few out there that are capable of dealing with the consequences of teenage sex. But the majority are not mentally ready to handle that responsiblity. And 4 yrs when talking teenage years makes a huge difference. I know I was not that same at 19 as I was at 15. But again there are your group of people that do not change much. As far as saying that they are expressing their love for eachother by having sex. Most 12, 13 14 or even 16 year olds have no idea what love means...And even if they do sex doesn't have to prove that. That age group should be a time of innocence and fun. I am not sure about anyone else, but for me sex adds an emotional attatchment that at that age doesn't need to be there yet. The majority of them will not be together in 6 mos. But here they are "showing their love for eachother". And most adult sex has nothing to do with love. It is all about sex. (not all, but you know, your one night stands, and so on) adults are most generally more equipped mentally and financially to handle a child on their own if that is the end result. Teenagers will have to rely on their parents for support in every aspect of the word.

Like I said, I am not generalizing all teens...But definitly the majority.

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cece22221

replied on November 30th, 2005

New User

michelle1981 wrote:

well said barbara!

Like jess said, most of us have sex in our teens and in reality aren't mentally mature to handle the consequences.....But it happens! Some take responsibility and grow up quick, while others don't......That also goes for women in their 30's and 40's.

For cece... It's the past, present and future.....Sex.....It'll happen whether or not our eyes are open.

Just keep in mind, you were where they are now!

trust me, I am not naive enough to think that it won't happen. But I will definitly prepare my kids. I will not encourage sex, but I will encourage them to use protection and prepare them for the risks and responsiblities. My mother did the same for me. I hope that someday my kids will feel like they can come to either my husband or I and ask the questions they have. Instead of having to post to strangers, although I do understand, to a degree, the need to ask someone you don't know. I may have come off like this discriminating mad woman, but I truly am not. I know that it is going to happen, and I don't hold the kids completely responsible, I don't think they are getting the proper education becaue it is such a hush, hush topic.

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Mommy980

replied on November 30th, 2005

New User

I disagree with that, some teenagers make mistakes. To me, my saying is, the sin was in the sex, and not what is growing inside that "kids" body. If that teenager gets pregnant, then that will be her choice in life and what she has to raise. Our nation is not falling apart from teenager's getting pregnant... There are many different things...I really disagree

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BabyGT

replied on November 30th, 2005

Experienced User

I am 15, and am very mature for my age, all I want to say is that, I have sex with my boyfriend because I love him, me and him have been going out for over 2 years now....I have sex because I love him, not a little fling thing either. I also disagree

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fatfamily02

replied on November 30th, 2005

Extremely eHealthy

I do wonder if they still have health class though. They come on here not knowing anything about their cycle or anything, but they know how to have sex??!!! It is kinda sad these days.

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michelle1981

replied on November 30th, 2005

Supporter

Just to go along with what babygt said, I started having sex when I was 16. I lost my virginity to a guy who used girls....But I don't regret it! A few months later I met and fell in love with my now husband. Last september we celebrated 8 years(married for 5).
Brian was 17 when I had our first son, he is now 6 and we have a second. He works 50-60 hours a week and is a great father and an amazing husband.

Maturity comes at different times for for both men and women.

We live to learn......

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Sarah1978

replied on November 30th, 2005

Experienced User

I heard on the news on tv the other day that specialists believe that most children/teens are sexually mature by the age of 11 but parents and schools aren't giving them enough information at an early enough age to help them mentally/emotionally handle everything sooner.
I was only just 15 the first time I had sex and I was quite mature for my age but at that time we were only just being told at school about sex, protection etc (sure most of us knew the basics but it was the details we needed) it was a bit late for most teens. I know the education system shouldn't be the only ones who are responsible for teaching teens/children sex ed but in reality some parents just can't be bothered or start teaching to late.
Just my 2 cents worth.

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fatfamily02

replied on November 30th, 2005

Extremely eHealthy

That is so true, it starts with the parents. Which I did teach my children well, cant say they always listen to what I taught them, but I know for a fact they never will forget what I have taught them. You have to be a repeater to be an effective teacher to anyone, especially your kids.

I say "dont they have health class" for the children who apparently cant talk to their parents. I thank .God my children do come to me, not afraid to tell me. Or ask my advice. They know I would never turn them away--no matter what they might tell me.

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diamondsz

replied on December 1st, 2005

Extremely eHealthy

I got sex ed classes in grade 5 so I was around 10 honestly we do get sex ed classes some people just prefer not to hear/selective hearing.......

My dad also was a major factor always used to tell me that my body was a jewel and that everytime someone saw it it depreciates in value I was 16 the first time and I dont regret it but I didnt sleep around either... Stuff happen but I think having a child as a young teen some of them aren't mentally ready.....

Stuff happens and im just happy their is a board to support the ones who are prego and need the support to continue as some of their friends and family stop speaking to them

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oh_mommy

replied on December 1st, 2005

Supporter

I dont agree with you. Teens haveing sex dosnt mean we are stupid or not ready. Where I live you start getting sex ed in grade 3 maybe abit earlier I cant quite remember. I just remember in grade 3 we had some lil puppet guy. Anyways back to the point, you say you dont think 12-16 year old understand the meaning "making love" but I for one do, maybe not all teens do. For instance when me and my boyfriend are having sex we call it being complete because we both feel the part of us we've been missing out whole lives is finnaly there. We love eachother very much and are planning to get engaged soon. I know this dosnt happen to alot of teens, but you have to admit when you were in highschool even in middle school you heard about sex in the halls. I know I did, and even when we watch those corny movies made way back when and they have teenage sex, so you cant judge. I know people are all brought up differnt.

Another thing, you can not blame parents by saying "where are the parents for all of this" because for one thing, my family is always here, and they really tried to stop us from pre-marital sex. My grandfather always told me "the man will always respect the woman more if she is a virgin when they get married" either way the man should repect the woman if they are getting married...

And that was my point of veiw, please dont discriminate

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19mommy

replied on December 1st, 2005

Experienced User

chanee wrote:

first of all 19mommy dont put me in labels with others they have a point I said I kinda agree cause I was were these are now not too long ago.I'm only saying they have to be more conscience get more resources like this place to understand using their bodies to get love is not the right way I thought I was but I was wrong.As they will see when they grow up somemore.I try not to judge ppl but what they do but for who they are and should too good luck god bless
chanee

first of all I was not talk to you I was refering to the origingal poster. I can not rant on and on about people not generalizing teenagers, yet do the same to you. Sorry if that wasnt implied to you

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19mommy

replied on December 1st, 2005

Experienced User

michelle1981 wrote:

just to go along with what babygt said, I started having sex when I was 16. I lost my virginity to a guy who used girls....But I don't regret it! A few months later I met and fell in love with my now husband. Last september we celebrated 8 years(married for 5).
Brian was 17 when I had our first son, he is now 6 and we have a second. He works 50-60 hours a week and is a great father and an amazing husband.

Maturity comes at different times for for both men and women.

We live to learn......

i couldnt have said it better michelle.

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kirztensmummy

replied on December 1st, 2005

Experienced User

I think age is out of the question here...I am 26 years old and carrying my 2nd child...Legally im an adult but I still look up to those teenage mums who chose to raise there kids even at a young age. Maturity doesnt come with the age...Sometimes you could be like 30 years old and still dont know how to act like a real adult there are some amazing teens there where they live and survive on their own besides if others think that having a child or having sex at a young age is a sudden rush or a mistake, is there anything else thats considered as morally right in the eyes of critics or righteous? I believe the you learn from your mistakes. I am not encouraging pms here, but at the end of the day its the individual's decision that matters...We wont be able to help them if we criticize them what they need is advise and support from the so-called "adults"
p.S. I dont mean to offend anyone here just making a point

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