I want my addiction back .. emotional mess ...

I am faltering....Actually thinking that I want my addict back...Maybe because for now that's the "easy" out of this emotional mess...I guess I am totally hurt by him too...He is telling me and others that he hired a private investigator on me!!! Yeah right and there was nothing to investigate...He says to me that he knows I have been continually lying to him and have slept with several other people?!?!? He found me on the other web site I was posting on...So I looked up what he had posted and he's saying that he found all this "dirt" and lies on me from the p/i...Gettting the people on the site to pitty him...I know I shouldn't care but I do, I am angry about that, its not true and he is the total liar...Like I said shouldn't care, these people are just on line and what ever even if they are in his meetings face to face too, (if he really goes) that's his little web of lies to make himself feel better about him and his actions, I think he feels justified by the lies...It's all just so sick!!! I want to call and yell at him about this, but what good would it do? He told me about the p/i too but never went any further into it execpt he supposedly hired one...No "evidence" no "stories" or anything like that when I ask him what he "found" he says he doesn't want to get into it!?!?! What ever!!!!

I just needed to vent in a place I felt safe, sometimes my feelings and emotions are just that...Mine!!!