A month ago I told my ex-girlfriend our
relationship was over. We had broken up
serveral times already at this point (i
broke up with her each time) because she
is a cheater. Two days ago she called me
and told me she is pregnant and that it is
mine.
Now I am feeling really down about this.
On the one hand the idea of being a father
is so exciting to me and it's something
i've always wanted. But this situation
is not at all how I pictured it happening
and I feel that I can't be excited at all.
The thing is, now what? I want to be
extremely involved in this pregnancy and I
have always pictured this time in my life
with me being married and obviously living
with my wife. That's not the case at
all. Should I just say to hell with my
pride and try to make a relationship with
her knowing full well that I deserve
better then what she can offer me and
chances are she will cheat on me again or
should I insist on us being friends and
dismiss any posibility of us getting back
together?
Obviously the most important thing is that
there is a baby on the way (abortion will
not be considered). I just dont know
what to do as far as a relationship with
the devil.... I mean mother.
Help!
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me_plus1
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Nov 2005 Posts: 38 Location: Georgia
Posted: 12-02-05 15:27pm
Hi
i'm in a similar situation but here is my
advice. Obiviously at some point you
liked this girl maybe even loved her. I'm
sure her cheating and other things may
have hurt you and if your situation was
just that I would say move on. Especially
if she is carring around an I could care
less attitude about it. However your
situation does not end there, she is
pregnant with your child (hopefully). In
my opinion, the most important thing is
what's best for the child. Try and make
the relationship work, get counseling, try
to support her because it is a rough time.
When it comes to having children you have
to re-organize your priorites.
Make your child your priority.
Just my opinion.
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poohbear101
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Nov 2004 Posts: 383
Posted: 12-02-05 16:18pm
Even though the baby is the most important
thing here I don't think you should be in
a relantionship with someone you don't
want to be with, especially if can't trust
that someone. You can be involved and
raise this baby without actually being
with this woman. Try and make a
friendship work for the baby's sake but if
you don't want more then that with her
than don't do it. A child shouldn't be
brought up in a home where their parents
are unhappy because it will effect your
child. Also when your baby gets older and
realizes that you two are only together
because of him/her it may feel some guilt
about that.
You want the best for your child, but
being raised in a home where there
probably be a lot of fighting (and thats
just the impression I get because you said
that you two broke up many times and
because of her cheating) isn't something
that you want to submit your child to.
You do need to sit down with your ex and
figure things out and how you two are
going to handle this situation. And if
you have any doubt that this child may be
yours you need to tell her that and get
that straight as soon as possible.
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tbaa_29
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Nov 2005 Posts: 32 Location: England
Posted: 12-03-05 16:56pm
Hi, sorry about your situation you sound
like a really nice bloke who wants to do
the right thing which is not always the
way now-a-days.
Firstly, you dont need to be in a
relationship to be a good parent to your
child. You just need to be in the childs
life always not just when it's convient to
you. Which means if you get into another
relationship your child still knows that
he/she is loved just as much.
Secondly, as soon as the baby is born get
a dna test done make sure the the child is
yours from the get go. If you dont get a
test then if ever you and your ex get into
an arguement she will tell you the child
isnt yours just to hurt you. I've got
friends who have done this!!!! Also
you'll know where you stand if you dont
know for sure you may not love the child
as much as you should because the doubt
will always be there.
Just because your ex says the baby is
yours don't mean it is.
Also are you positive that she is actually
pregnant and not just saying she is
because she knows this is something you
want?? She won't be the first person in
the world to lie about a pregnancy to get
her man back!!!
If I was you I would buy a home pregnancy
test take it to her and make her take the
test whilst your there so you can see for
yourself.
