Joined: 03 Dec 2005 Posts: 34 Location: lafayette, colorado
I Want to Be Happy Posted: 12-03-05 19:52pm
I am 52 yrs old, married 32yrs, 2 grown
children and am going to be a grandma in
april. I feel very lonley most of the
time even in a room full of people I still
feel alone. I suffer from depression and
have had to deal with depression most of
my life. I am on welbutrin, lexapro and
they help some but I don't think there is
help for me I feel as though I am designed
to be this way. Any help would be
appreciated
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Kittykatus
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Oct 2005 Posts: 89 Location: United Kingdom
... Posted: 12-05-05 09:25am
Do u feel that this is from your family
growing up and moving on, or is it just a
general feeling that your experiencing?
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buttons119
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Dec 2005 Posts: 34 Location: lafayette, colorado
Depression Posted: 12-05-05 09:34am
My entire life I have never been happy.
I was sexually molested when I was ten by
a male babysitter. My father was an
alcholic and abused my mother. My
self esteem is next to nothing and always
has been. I am sort of anti social
never felt quite good enough. I have
been to several therapist but quit gowing
after a time
Last edited by buttons119 on 12-08-05 03:51am; edited 1 time in total
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Kittykatus
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Oct 2005 Posts: 89 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: 12-05-05 10:23am
I'm very sorry to hear that buttons119.
And I won't say I know how you feel
because I don't. I haven't experienced
what you have. But may I say that I find
you are very brave. A character of your
sort will, fair enough, feel anxiety and
depression, but after so long you have
managed to get through somehow. I know
you may not feel great, which I appreciate
and hopefully many more will too, but I
can say for sure that you have broken a
growing pain somewhere by sticking to your
guns and carrying on.
I cannot change your life, buttons119,
cause unfortunately whats done is done.
And can't change your feeling. But I
know for certain that you a a very brave
and strong character. More strong than
you realise.
I'm always hear to talk,
kitty
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buttons119
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Dec 2005 Posts: 34 Location: lafayette, colorado
Depression Posted: 12-05-05 10:45am
Thanks kitty I appreciate all of your
support. I don't mean to sound like a
cry baby for years I kept everything
locked up inside of me and blamed myself
for everything that ever went wrong in my
life. I finally came to terms with it
all but I still can't shake the depression
I don't know what it would take to make me
truly a happy person. I just would love
to get up and look forward to the new day.
I don't know that it will ever happen
for me. I don't think there is a drug
out there that will help me be happy.
Maybe I have been down for so long there
is no getting back up
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Kittykatus
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Oct 2005 Posts: 89 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: 12-05-05 18:35pm
Mate this'll sound very rude, but I will
go ahead and say it; you don't need to
rely on the 'miracle medicine' of today
because a) it's practically made out of
chalk and b) because your will is much
more stronger than that. You say that
there is no pill which can help you.
That's because they are non-exsistent; the
only thing that can help you out is your
soul within you. That is the only thing
which'll make you stronger. And youhave
that my friend. You really do xx
Last edited by Kittykatus on 12-08-05 17:09pm; edited 1 time in total
