Talk to her again, and don't get angry with her because that will only backfire. I don't think though that there is any legal way for you to stop her from aborting this baby if that is what she chooses to do.

Good luck

I'm sorry things are going this way. I would talk to her & let her know exactly how you feel. Maybe she will change her mind. I hope she does. You are very sweet for offering to take the baby. That is really brave of you. Keep us posted:)

First of all, i'm touched by your generosity and courageous determination to keep this baby. I think she needs to hear other people's support about having this baby.

Right now she might be thinking about her goals and accomplishments and how these nine months will hinder her future but it's preferable to give away nine months of your life than to live with guilt as a constant shadow.
Find someone she looks up to and who has the ability to open channels of communication so she feels free to discuss her feelings, fears, and insecurities.
Do all you think it's reasonably in your power to keep her from having an abortion but if she still insists on having one, there is nothing you can do besides learning from this experience.
Be patient. I wish you luck.

Juanita

I think your a real stand up guy.And I wish there more men out here like you.You will blessed for not turning your back on your child.But I agree with everyone try to talk to her as much as you can and see what happens good luck and god bless you
chanee

Hey jason,

I live in ottawa, if she were to get an abortion she would nee your permission unless you were abusive and she had proof...............If she plans to continue down this road call cas (childrens aid society) they will help you or call puclib health line to see if they can help


Fight it hun it takes two to create a child and if your willing to take care of it then she cant destroy what is yours also tell her you will take full cusotdy and she can have supervised visits...I'm 21 but I would never do that to my hubby but be calm and only pursue it if she chooses abortion but mention the custody issue first

send me a pm and I can give you personal contact # of ppl who will help you or an email


hugz your way
jess

Hey again its jason thanks for all your coments and suport its nice to know I am not alone in my fight to have this baby. Anyways I did contact c.A.S and they told me they dont think I have any say until the child is born. But there is still hope I think because the guy said he dident really know and the question would probly be best answered by a lawyer. I dident want to even think about trying to get her to have this baby by law at first because I love and care for her so much and I know she is stressed but I just did not know what do do because it seems no matter what I say she just wants the abortion. I think I was getting threw to her the other day but she said to me if you make me have this baby right after I will have my tubes tied. She said if I let her have the abortion she would not get her tubes tied and we could have more then one child later but I said something might happen in the abortion and if you kill the one baby you might not be able to have any after. Okay guys thanks for all your help and I hope to hear from all of you some more. Thanks alot to everyone for your help!!!!!!!!!!!

Jason

Hey its jason thank you all for your advice but my girlfriend just informed me yesterday that she had booked her abortion appointment for december 30th. Now dose anyone have any advice on dealing with the depresion of your gf haven a abortion ? Lol right me back thanks again guys!!!!!!

Jason

Pray---.God can make a way.

I don't jason I would leave her why because she does not respect you or your wishes what if after the abortion yall get pregnant again is she going to abort that one also she's playing a dangerous gam with her body I know ppl who can't even think about getting pregnant cause the tools they use will scare up your insides it's terrible but tell her when she's have the abortion they have a jar that they suck the baby into it's gross.She will be srry babies are gift from god and not to be destroyed I will pray for you 2 but me I would have to be done with her just my opinion btw god bless you for being a good man and good luck
chanee

Hi chanee,

how are you?


I agree-- I was thinking of that the other day. They would always have that between them. And could you ever really truly love someone who would kill your baby. I say this from the man's side as well as the woman's. We may convince ourselves we do(still love them). But can you really ever get over a thing like that. Idk, I dont think I could. If a man asked me to abort--i would not do it, for I dont believe in it and love my baby's 100 times more than even myself, but could I ever truly open back up to him after that. I dont think I could. My opinion.

Hey joanna,

i'm ok,wishing this baby would come on lol,
i think he's a great man to want to take care of the responsiblity's but your right how can he move pass her not wanting to compromise with him on having his child ,children are love and she just make's it seem like their a curse and that's got to hurt him ,jason really needs to think about would he be able to forgive her for that. Destroying a life is a hard step to take and I pray she will change her mind before dec 30th cause if she doesn't they will always have a void between them as far as the little goes.Jason I will pray for you and your girlfriend and your unborn baby
fyi: god throws all type of things at us to see how we will handle them and think your doing the right thing and will truly be blessed.
Good luck and god bless you
chanee

I hope and pray that she's not going to be that abortion because a child is given by god to show people what their love have created. Well, I have been trying to get pregnancy for months now and nothing is happening and whenever I hear about stories like yours, it hurts me a lot to know that there's someone out there who is trying to have an abortion. I really hope that she will change her mind about this abortion. You are a real man for doing this. There's a lot of men out there that will run and never look back but you know it's really her choice and hopefully she'll just change her mind. I'll be praying for you...

I have this excellant story. My best friend back in california--still my best friend. She had many abortions, drug addict at the time so she felt nothing on all, but the last one. Last one broke her in too, and she thought she would never survive. It is like she felt the pain and shame , sorrow from all of them at once. I wanted to drive the 500 miles just to go hug her--it was horrible for her.

But my story is---she went in one time to have an abortion on one of her children. They dilate your cervix and tell you to come back the next day. When she went back the next day--the planned parenthood had burned to the ground. needless to say he is still alive, most beautiful child. His name is luke and he is about 12 or 13 now. It is a good story right??

So, anything is possible---pray ya'all we can change this thing. In .Jesus name

Hey everyone I cant thank you all enough for your advice and support its meens alot to me . Here an update for today. Well I tryed to talk her out of it some more last night and she kinda got mad and said stop trying to change my dession and she said I have to support her in it well I dont agree with her dession but she is right she dose need support but I told her I dont agree with it at all. Last night she also said to me my parents dont want you to tell anyone that im getting an abortion which made me mad because its my life and all of this is happening to me not them. Also when we woke up this morning one of the girls she rents a room to asked her how she was doing? Well she lied to the girl and said she had a miscarriage. I dont know if I have the right to be mad at that but I am because I think if she wants to have an abortion I think she should own up to it. Anyways I gotta run thanks for all the replys !!!!!!!!!!

Jason

I want to tell you a story to tell her. I am going to be 30 soon. When I was 24 I had done what she is about to do. I now want to have a child badly and have been trying for more than a year with no luck. Every august (that was my due month) I say just think he or she would be 3, 4, etc. I am worried that I may not be able to have a child now and I blame that procedure on it. Tell her to really think about it. If I could go back I would in a second. I am not with the would have been father anymore either. We were together for 7 years when we had that done and we stayed together after that for 3 more years but that was what ended our relationship. I am just worried that doing that may have cursed me for having children and also worried that it made me so I cannot have a child now. I am not trying to scare her or you but this is something to think about. Good luck

Y'know what? I may be a lone voice here - but your g/f got pregnant with your help, yet before you had sex with her, the two of you never discussed possible outcomes. So that, frankly, takes you out of the ring for the decision of what to do now.

If you had been responsible, and had had a talk with her before you ever had sex about what you would do *if*, you wouldn't be in this situation (and you'd have a better leg to stand on, if she then went against what the two of you had previously discussed, tho it's still her decision). But you never had that talk, so here you are without a leg to stand on.

Leave your g/f be! Babies are not always the godsends people say they are. They do change our lives completely and if she's not ready for that, you can't force her to be. Even pregnancy changes our lives, and if she doesn't want it, she doesn't want it. Period.

If she chooses the abortion, *support her* dammit! Stop scaring her with exaggerated stories of what abortion might do - that she may not be able have kids later. Gimme a break. (if abortion made so many women infertile, abortion opponents couldn't claim that women are getting multiple abortions as their means of birth control!!) the doctor can tell her the *real* risks, not the ones you've heard thru the grapevine.

Drive her to the appt. Hold her hand, pick up her prescriptions, give her her medications with a glass of water. Do not hold it against her. You love her? Forgive her.

If you can't, break up with her. But quit laying guilt on her. It's a crappy enough decision to make as it is without you being an insensitive jerk and making it worse.

And let me tell you another story - my cousin convinced his g/f to have their accidental baby, he said she'd become a good mother. The mother ended up an absentee mother - imagine that, and a little girl with an irresponsible mother as her role model - and my cousin ended his college life to raise the daughter. Yep, his life, his ambitions, his goals, they ended. He's come to terms with it, and he tries very hard, but his daughter has a crappy mother to show for it. Stupid.

i am sorry to be the one to disagree with you but it seems to me that this decision was not hard for her at all!! And she doesn't seem to take into concideration his concerns and wants. Its just as much her fault for not having a talk with him first as it is his yet he has to pay the price? That is not fair!! Its his child too not just hers! Abortion is rarley the answer to an unwanted pregnancy. If anybody needs support it is him. She needs to hold his hand and be there for him emotionally because he is about to lose his first child.

Lisa

i don't expect people here to agree with me. I already said I was a lone voice, you just confirmed it. Why are you sorry?

Y'know what? I'm blunt. I'm not going to put on kid gloves when it comes to bringing unwanted children into the world. You said abortion is "rarely" the answer - which means sometimes it is, and unless you're the girl in question, you don't know for certain if it's the answer or not.

He said in the first post that she considered having the baby, but then changed her mind. That right there tells me it was not an easy decision. You're also assuming it was easy when you don't even know the girl. Even if the *decision* is easy, it doesn't mean she has not *feelings* about it. How presumptuous of you. Unless you've had to make that decision and *chose abortion* you have no idea what she's thinking/feeling. How do you know she didn't take his feelings into consideration? Just because she didn't come to the same conclusion you would?

I wasn't saying that she wasn't equally responsible, but I *am* saying that if he had such strong feelings about it, he should have been more responsible up front. She made her decision, he made his case. Now he needs to back off. Let him go to a counsellor if he's so torn up about it. But she doesn't need his guilt, too, that's just cruel and immature.

Life's not fair. Should he stamp his feet and pout about it, or get on with life like a grown up?

Ok you are a stupid woman to think children are not a gift you make it seem like their devils.Lady have your lost your mind who cares what ur nephew did with his g/f and how bad a mom she is .This serious there is a life that did not ask to be in the downed by a old bat like you .Your a hateful lady i'm blunt also and I think if you don't have nothing nice to say to jason to help him with this you just need to shut up and stay out of it cause right now he has alot on his plate and so does his g/f.Obvious if you have children you don't fully love cause the post you wrote are just mean and terrible to think a child has to be raise by a lady that does not value life and what it brings nobody said it was going to be easy to cope with a child but and the long run it's worth it.They are gifts and need to be treated as such. I will pray for you and good luck jason on whatever happens god bless
chanee