Hi. I'm a 20 year old virgin and i've
never had a proper girlfriend. I know i'm
good looking and I go to the gym 3 times a
week and in general a nice person(only
thing i'm a little conscious of is my
height at 5'10). The problem is i've been
on about 30 first dates and i've screwed
up all of them. My confidence is pretty
much non existent at the moment and it
takes me ages now to go chat to someone.
Anyway basically I kind of want these
questions answered. Should I tell the
women i'm a virgin straight off so they
can understand why i'm increasingly
anxious on dates(i'm pretty certain thats
why the last 5 or so didn't go well).
What are good places/good things to do for
first dates? And yeah if there is any
advice you could give me about this it
would really appreciated. Thanks
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justacanadiangirl
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Nov 2004 Posts: 1803
Posted: 12-12-05 03:51am
Well for my first date with my bf we went
to a pool hall around here. Then out for
dinner. That was good cuz it gave us time
to talk a little and get comfortable with
each other before we had to sit down to
eat and talk... It was nice. I think u
should try something like that, something
that's active and ur not just sitting
around talking, cuz ppl tend to move
around nervously a lot when they are
sitting still and especially with a new
person. I know how hard it is. Good
luck! As for being a 20 year old virign,
I was a virgin til a few months before I
turned 19. Not bad I think...
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katie2020
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Dec 2005 Posts: 17
Virgin Posted: 12-12-05 20:57pm
You should tell your significant other the
truth that you are still a virgin. I feel
that you should do anything but which.
Lying is the first thing that hurts a
relationship. To tell the truth, I am 25
and still a virgin. I tell my boyfriend
and he is alright with it.
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nightangel73
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2599 Location: ,
Thanks: 17
Thanked:13
Posted: 12-17-05 00:30am
Niceguy we women don't care if the guy is
virgin or not. They will probably find it
flattering so don't hesitate to tell!
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lostdude
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Dec 2005 Posts: 31
Posted: 12-20-05 12:07pm
When I told my g/f I was a virgin, she
said "awwww" and that made me melt... It
will go the same for you... It dont
matter what girl it is or how they are,
they always love a guy who cares for
them...
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mdpl326
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Jan 2006 Posts: 11
Posted: 01-08-06 04:26am
Well... Being a virgin might scare off
some girls, if you act uncomfortable
around them. Some might like it and some
might be turned off. My advice is, don't
say it on the first date. It really
shouldn't even come up at all on the first
date. Wait until you are at a comfort
level with someone... After a few dates.
If you say it right away, they will see it
as something important, since you just had
to tell them immediately! But being a
virgin is no big deal. You need to feel
that way, to ease your anxiety and build
your confidence, and they need to feel
that way too, which will happen if you act
like it's no big deal! If they want to
know why, just tell them you've dated
other girls but it just wasn't something
you wanted to waste on them. You weren't
sure you'd find someone right for you yet.
Honestly, if I hadn't met my boyfriend,
i'd still be a virgin too, and i'm 19.
And i'd say the same thing, that I hadn't
met the right person yet. If you're
waiting until marriage, you might want to
mention that. But otherwise... Go with
that. And stop stressing! You're letting
this insecurity sabotage your dates. You
sound like a great guy that any girl would
be lucky to have. Know this, and own it.
If you want your virginity to not matter
to a girl, you have to also act like it
doesn't matter. Virginity is an asset.
You'll find someone right for you. Some
girl is going to just love that you are a
virgin (maybe she is too!). She'll be a
down-to-earth, sweet, genuinely nice girl
who you feel you can talk to about
anything. Look out for her!
