5 Months Pregnant And Single Posted: 12-15-05 15:10pm
I have known my baby's father since I was
about 16 years old (i am now 24). We
were just acquaintances then became
intimate about a year ago on my winter
break. I left for my last semester of
college then came back and we continued to
be intimate even though we were not
boyfriend and girlfriend. He comes from
a different lifestyle the fast lane than I
do so I knew there was never a future for
us plus he already had baby mama drama.
However, unexpectedly I became pregnant
and he wanted me to have an abortion.
That was not an option for me. After my
first appointment I talked to him and
things were ok. But since then he has
not called me at all. When I have called
him to let him know about my appointments
sometimes he answers his phone and others
not. I suspect he does not want his
other baby mother to know about me having
his baby, just found out it is a girl.
After that first appointment he said he
would be there at the birth and take care
of his responsibilities. I am not
holding my breath. However, I feel the
other baby mother should know since our
children will be related. What do you
think? I don't want to start any
problems but if he doesn't face his
responsibilities I think I will have to go
to her house after the baby is born and
talk with her. It hurts to know that
someone you cared about just abandons you.
Oh yeah, he claims I set him
up...Whatever...
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Jolie_3110
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Joined: 04 Dec 2005 Posts: 1756 Location: Essex, England
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Posted: 12-16-05 08:33am
Hi, sorry to here that your going through
so much hurt and stress at the mo. When I
was 3 mths pregnant with my 1st son (i now
have 2) my partner and I split up he wasnt
a reliable person at all ( before I had
even had the baby 6 mths later he was
married to some other women!) I didnt see
him at all during the pregnancy (his
choice not mine) and when my beautiful
baby arrived it was my mum that was with
me. I dont deny that it was lonely at
times but I had to get on with it and it
wasnt long before I was getting smiles and
gurgles everytime I looked at him and that
made it all worth the while! Yes, your
ex-partner has to start to accept his
responsibilities he cant just keep going
round making babies with lots of women
(something my ex was also guilty of!) but
I am living proof that coping on your own
is possible and as for the other baby
mother tread with caution only go to see
her if you are really sure its what you
want to do, it could cause alot of upset
for you, baby and others involved. Try
and think positive this baby girl is all
yours and you dont have to share her with
no1! And when the time is right someone
better will walk in2 your life who will
love you both. Wishing you the best of
luck! Hope this helps.
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perfectdiamond19
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Dec 2005 Posts: 115 Location: cedartown
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Posted: 12-16-05 09:57am
Hmm I can kidof relate but then agian I
can not. My husband met this woman when
he was 16 they dated off and on for 16
months and lived together off and on and
she became preganant and he asked her to
abord the baby, this was something that
she would do, but she todl him that she
wanted the baby becaseu it was with him
and she loved him, she has had four other
abortions because she got pregnant by
someone else that was not him well 6 years
later here we are. They ended up not
staying together. After his daughter was
born they was together off and on and two
years ago they tried it one last tiem and
it did not work. He left me to try to
work things out with her, only for the
child is what he said. Well after all
that baby mama drama caca.. She got
pissed because after two weeks he came
back to me. So she did not let him see
his daughter for like over a year. He did
not talk to them either. Well he and I
were together 1 year and seven months ,
and I got pregnant. Well befor we got
married we went to florida and he lied and
said he was not dating anyone becasuse he
was scared she would not let him spend
time with his daughter. He wanted to keep
me a secret. Thats when we were together
a year. And then she found out and was
cool about it. Then seven months later.
We are married and pregnant. He got
married with out telling her and had his
daughter in the wedding. Well he told her
he asked me and she did not beleive him,
so he did not try to convince her. So we
had the wedding and I was already
pregnant, 2 months. And his little girl
was there and she had to tell her mom that
we had got married, which pissed her off.
And then he didnot wnt to tell her about
the baby and I was like finally , you
married me and I am not keeping my child a
secret becseu you are scared she want let
you see that damn kid. I told him that I
was prond of my child and if she did not
want him to see his daughter becasue of us
haveing a son then he would have to
decided what meant more to him, I hated to
have to make him choose but that was my
child vs/ hers . Well turns out he told
her and she was pissed but got over it.
My husband is a good man , he was jsut
scared he would loss visitain rights again
becaseu she had kept the child away before
becasue he picked me over her. So it is a
littel different. Except for the truth
must be told.So yes I think that yes you
should tell her that you are having his
child. But I think that you should do it
before the baby is born. Are they
together as a coulple? I also think his
azz should be paying child support. And
dont you worry about him you are strong
enough to do it all . God made us woman
stornger than any man.
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fatfamily02
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 3050 Location: Georgia, USA
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Posted: 12-16-05 11:15am
I think when the child comes, you will
know what to do--and I believe you will do
it.
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nikkiv
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Dec 2005 Posts: 2
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Baby Father Mia Posted: 12-17-05 00:23am
Thanks everyone for the replies they have
given me something to think about. I
will definitely be going to the courts for
child support. He thinks that I come
from a rich family and because I have two
degrees I can do it all on my own.
However, I just graduated from college and
have not even started a career. I have
student loans to pay off, bills to pay, as
well as having to find an apartment, it is
very hard. But I will make it. Its
just sometimes I become so upset, which I
do know is very unhealthy for the baby and
me.
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bitsy690
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jan 2006 Posts: 43 Location: Illinois
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Posted: 02-04-06 15:51pm
I could have been you. The guy I was with
had already gotten a girl pregnant. She
was 5 months pregnant when I started
seeing him. He said he left her and I
believed him. At the time I too had a
boyfriend that I was living with. He
told me he wasn't sure if his
x-girlfriend's baby was his. Then, I
became pregnant. I told him it was his
but I knew he probably would have accused
it of being my boyfriend's. I know for a
fact it was the new guy's baby because I
hadn't been having sex with my boyfriend
and the new guy came inside me. The other
woman knew about me...I called her one day
and told her that she would never have to
worry about me being involved in her life.
A few days later I had an abortion. He
agreed to it but never helped me pay for
any of it...A real looser. Honestly, I
wish I would have kept the baby. I just
didn't like the circumstances that the
child would be born into. Looking back I
would have just left the guy out of my
child's life and had the baby by myself.
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