I dont think you should be mad. She might be going throgh a midlife crisis

I would be mad,.... But that's just me...

Why would you be mad

you should be happy for her. Only a person who is being selfish would feel that way. "afraid she is stealing something from you." she has a right to be pregnant if she wants to be. You should be excited to share it with your own mom.

I mean I dont know how good your relationship is but I would totally dig that.

Only someone who has their own unresolved issues, or a very poor relationship with their mother would feel that way.

I'd be mad aswell.

I wouldn't want my 40 year old mom having a baby, that would embaress me like crazy, especially if she acted the way you described your mom has.

I cannot believe people would actually be mad ....(no offense) but it makes you sound very jealous. I mean no one evr said there was a rule that anyone who is 40 has to be a grandma and not a mother. I know plenty of people who may have had a child only a few years before that so they still have to play mommy at forty. I mean come on all she is really doing is being a normal woman when she says things about her pregn. She is exited...Cut her some slack. Another baby is always a good thing.

Nobody can tell you how you should feel about this situation. Nobody should be made to feel ashamed of their feelings either, regardless of the situation. The only thing that is important here is that you learn how to handle this situation in a positive manner for you, so that you are not putting unneccesary stress on you and your baby.

You said your mother has a lot of questions, and that she is acting like this is her first pregnancy. I can understand that. I am 30 now, and pregnant with my second child. I, too, have a lot of questions. My first child was born when I was 16. Since I didn't find out I was pregnant then until I was 5 months along I really do not remember, or didn't know, what was considered normal for pregnancy. So, in a way, this is like a first pregnancy for me, too, because there has been 14 years in between the two. You tend to forget things over time, and with all the new technology and medical advances now things have changed dramatically over the years.

I am not sure what your relationship is like with your mother, be it good, or bad. Your mother most likely sees both of you being pregnant as a form of a bond between the two of you. Because of this it is only natural that she would want to share the experience with you.

The one thing that I do ask of you is to know that your mother will be considered high risk due to her age. She may have many more complications than you, and may need your support to help her through this. Please keep in mind that while feeling jealousy and rage about the situation is in no way wrong, if something should happen to your mother, or her baby, in the end you may have to deal with some guilt, too. Your mother will also have many feelings to deal with if something should happen, because she will be left having to watch you complete your pregnancy. The same would be true vice versa if you have complications, and your mother has a healthy pregnancy.

Just do the best you can to try to keep an open mind by seeing things from both points of view. It would also help to talk directly to your mother about your feelings. Be honest and open about what you are feeling, explaining to her why you feel the way you do. In the end it may help both of you to come to some sort of an understanding, even if you just agree to disagree and leave it at that.

Below I have included a list of complications for pregnancy at 40 so that you are prepared, and so that maybe you can help prepare your mother for these things should they arise.


Pregnancy at 40
by rose villaflor


many women usually delay their pregnancies for reasons such as career opportunities, emotional stability, or financial security. However, whether natural or medically assisted, conception can also be a fact for women in their 40’s. As it is known, postmenopausal pregnancy promotes equality and reproductive freedom.

While certain medical risks like hypertension, diabetes, multiple gestation, preterm labor, and pre-eclampsia accompany postmenopausal pregnancy, medical and technological advances now allow safe and effective conception. Approaches such as in vivo fertilization, intrauterine insemination (iui), intratubal insemination (iti), gamete intrafallopian transfer (gift), and fallopian replacement of eggs with delayed intrauterine insemination (fredi).

Genetic defects.

A higher proportion of middle-aged women's eggs, however, contains problems with the chromosomes that can lead to genetic abnormalities.

The general child-bearing population has a 3% chance of delivering a child with a birth defect.
The risk rises to between 6% and 8% after the age of 40.
The chance of having a child with down’s syndrome is around one in 365 at the age of 35, but rises to one in 100 by the age of 40, and to one in 40 at the age of 45.
Around 50% of early miscarriage are due to genetic abnormalities, and overall the rate of miscarriage is 15%. After the age of 40, this incidence nearly doubles.
There is also a moderate increase in stillbirths after the age of 40 because of the potential medical complications affecting pregnancy, and lethal birth defects.
Labor and delivery complications

preterm (premature) labour
premature separation of the placenta
placenta previa, which means that the placenta lies over the neck of the womb,
meconium stained amniotic fluid, which means that the unborn baby has soiled the amniotic fluid and can be harmful if inhaled by the baby during the birth process see also: common fertility drugs and their actions

to see more artlices like these visit doctorgeorgette.Com

i can understand your feelings on this.....I too would probably be a wee bit upset and worried.
Try to focus on you and your pregnancy. I really hope everything works out for the best :)

My mom had me when she was 40. I'm now 18, she's 58 and my best friend. There is 19 years difference between me and my oldest brother. He had his first daugher just 4 months after I was born. He was the best big brother! He took care of me all the time and I (aunt jackie) have an awesome relationship with my neice. We're so close in age and we get along great. My mom and my brothers wife enjoyed their pregnancy together. They went baby shopping for clothes (because I was the first girl out of 5kids), traded hand me down maternity clothing when my mom outgrew them (mind you my moms tiny and so is my sis-in-law)....They just thought it was great, having someone to share everything with

i can't see why you're mad...I mean ...Think about it. You're going to have a living breathing little brother/sister. That in itself should make you happy. I just don't get it. Sounds like you're just mad that she's stealing your spot light.

So in response to you're original question, no, I don't think you should be mad!!!!

Really hope you come to you're senses and stop being so damn jelous! You're moms happy...At the very least you should be happy for her too. Its not like this babies going to go away. Once its born its here forever. Are you going to spend you're entire life hating him/her just because you weren't the centre of attention while they were concieved?

I am sorry, but what happened to reverance and respect for your mother. You girls make me sick.

You do have a right to feel how ever you want---but you do not have a right to treat your mother with so much disrespect.

And I still dont see whats the deal, I would love to --first have my mom here. She has been gone since I turned 30. She was only 48. And I would love to share something so special wih her.

I would feel like a little kid. How you doin mom?? How's the baby?? Is it a boy or girl? Did you go to the dr yet. It's moving--let me feel!!!! And wow, your kid will be my kids uncle or aunt and be younger than them--kewl!!!

Honestly I agree with the folks that have said that you are allowed to feel however you want but if you want an opinion as to how i/we would feel, here it goes....

I would be happy and supportive to my mother or mother-in-law. I would not berate her for being joyful since she can feel that wonderful feeling of a growing child in her belly again. If you are upset, it is your decision but you need to figure out if you are going to allow the fact that you are having a little brother or sister get in the way of your relationship with your mother.

Personally I would be furious with you if I was your husband/boy friend because you really have no basis for your anger other than simple jealosy and if I were not married to you, I would be very hesitant to get married to you given your general disregard for other peoples feelings.

Just one man's opinion,
-brian

I just know that if that happened to me, I would be mad, considering my mom and I don't have a great relationship I think I would feel like she was trying to steal my thunder (even though she probably wouldn't be) but that's just the way I feel. As for having kids late in life, I don't think that's so bad, my bf's mom had him when she was 43 and there is a 22-23 year gap between him and his brothers who are now 46 and 45. And he said they were the best brothers he could have.Which I know they are. But it's just the fact that if I was pregnant with my first and had just old all my family and with me it would be the first grandchild, then my mom gets pregnant.... I would be quite mad. Even if she didn't mean to it's just the fact that something that was supposed to be special for u and just urs, u now have to share. It's different when it's a friend who is pregnant at the same time, or even a sister-in-law then at least it's not all ur family is now having their attention on her too. I personally think it would be cool to be pregnant at the same time as someone, just not a sister or mother...

i am mad at her becasue she does not have the money to take care of my brother much less a baby and she is 40. She should be a gm not a new mom, I do not feel she is taking any thing from me, I would not have let the baby go to her house alot anyhow because they live alot different than my husband and i, and she knew that and I feel thats why she got pregnant. So you cant judge me and say I have unresolved issues, the point is she is 40 yrs old and starting all over and she does it right when me and my husband decide to start a family. Now she is always saying things to make me feel bad becasue we have money and can some what afford nice things and she cant, and she knew that and she expects me to give her all my old baby cloths for her baby, when there will only by a 6mo difference and I had already told her that I planned on reselling his cloths on ebay, so that we could use the money to buy new ones, she is already calling the baby a boy, it could be a girl, the way I see it is when your children get older and go to college and then get married and start having children that is you time to be a gm not a new mom, now she cant be a gm, so my son will only have one gm but at least she will be able to do the things a gm is suppose to do.

I am glad some one understands , thank you

How far along are u now?

Well, it sounds to me like you've already decided you're going to be mad at your mom....So anything we say is just going to be wasted. Why'd you bother asking for advice if you already know what you're going to do/feel? You should have titled this "mother bashing" because thats about all you seem to do. Doesn't matter if she has money or not..She raised you , she gave birth to you . Show a little respect!
J e l o u s ... Don't bother saying 'shes not steeling my thunder" because everything you say makes it seem more and more that thats how you feel.

Or maybe its just me

first of all I could care less about being in the center of attention, I do not hate the baby or dislike it, I will love the baby, however I will not be as close to it as I am my brother I am sure, I am hardly around my family becaseu I have a busy demanding life. Yea I am upset with my mom becasue now my son does not get the chance to have the grandmother that I had, my mom will be too busy, which is fine, I just feel like she should have giving him a chance to have 2 sets of grandparents. Also like I said in another post, I am also mad becaseu my mom cant barly afford to take care of my brother, our dad and mom are divorced and he pays child support and our dad is a Dr. But still that does not mean she has money, now here she is having a child when I am the one who takes care of the one she has now, my husband and I told her that we could not afford to buy my brother school cloths and birthday and christmas like we use to, we told her she had to figure it out she is his mother after all and then she makes it worst by bringing a baby into this world when she can not afford it. And I can not afford it, so my reasons for being upset go a litttle deeper than me just being selfesh I am not a selfish person at all . And I am not the type of person who wants to be in the center of attention, so you do not need to be so rude/

ok whatever, my son is going to have to deal with haveing an aunt that is younger, hmm I dont think it suppose to work that way , and I am not disrespectful to my mother, why asume somthing that you do not know to be a fact, jsut becasue someone would be upset does not mean they treat thier parent with disrespect, so whatever, I dont agree with you

hmm its funny how my husband and mother-in-law feel the same way I do, my husband thinks my parents are ignorant, and my husband who loves and respects is a very educated man, as well as I am

....Its still all about you though.... Has it occured to you that maybe just maybe you're mom didn't do this on purpose? May she, like lots of women, got pregnant by accident, and now she's excited about it! Heaven forbid she be happy about bringing new life into the world~