my name is leigh and I have been married a
little over a year. My husband and I have
an 8 month old son together. He is our
life.
Recently we decided to seek a divorce as
after trying and trying and trying, we
realize our relationship cannot be mended.
We stayed together and discusses
continuing to do so for our son, but than
we agreed that raising him in a house full
of tension was not healthy for him to grow
up. We did not want him to learn that was
"normal", because it isn't.
Anyhow.....There is the story w/o every
single detail.
My husband is a great man, we just are not
good together. He has agreed on my son
and I moving away to be with family as he
feels our son is best off living with me
and not having to be put in daycare. My
fear and the reason why i'm writing today
is the fear of being a single mom. I
never pictured myself in this position and
although my husband is more than happy to
pay child support, i'm worried about the
emotional issues my son may face. Not
having his daddy easily "accessible".
Wondering why he has to travel to see dad,
when he is old enough to realize it. I
guess i'm just scared about all the issues
a single mother faces.
Can someone that has experience with this
guide me and give me some encouragement,
if there is any? Any advice or
suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks
for listening.
Hi leigh!
I am 19 and a single mum of 3! My kids r
3,2 and 7mths! No one ever see's themselv
becomin a single mum but it does happen
i'm afraid and you might feel like it's
the end of the world at the moment but it
isn't.
A few things I have realised since being
on my own with my kids are they need to
see there dad regularly if possible,you
and your son will become very close,make
sure you rmind your son that even though
daddy doesn't live with you both anymore
that he loves your boy so much.
When you think of being a single parent it
makes you feel miserableat first and as
though it's your fault and that you maybe
won't be able cope. But i've enjoyed it.I
love my3 so much and live for them they
are my life. You will get through this.If
you want something so badly you'll get it.
I wanted to be able to cope and be a good
mum and be able manage on my own more than
anything and I think I am doing ok
good luck xxx
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PhenoBarbiDoll
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Feb 2006 Posts: 11 Location: NJ
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Wow Posted: 03-20-06 16:15pm
I shud write a book. When I was at your
points I had no were to go but learn
myself...Messages boards are ok....
]boy were to begin you do not need a man
to complete you....Get strong work on your
self thats my main adivice
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Morning_Glory
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Mar 2006 Posts: 207 Location: NE Ohio
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Posted: 03-20-06 21:34pm
I have been raising my son on my own since
he was two. Ex lives in ala and I live in
ohio.
The key thing seems to be to make sure to
surround your son with positive, loving
people and be willing to share his time
with family that wants to give you a break
and spend time with him without you.
(don't be afraid to ask people if they can
babysit to give you some time to
yourself).
My biggest challenge was positive male
role models. My son has more of a
brotherly type of relationship with his
dad than a father/son thing (my ex is just
an overgrown kid). If you have a
brother, uncle, whatever that is a good
solid person with values you admire, be
sure to foster and allow a relationship
with that person to develop between him
and your son. My son has a pretty close
relationship with my brother in law, and
i'm thankful for that.
You can be a good single parent, people do
it all the time and having a good
relatonship with your ex is a real
bonus!!! Alot of us have very limited
contact with our ex's and a real majority
of us fight over child support or never
get child support.
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PhenoBarbiDoll
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Feb 2006 Posts: 11 Location: NJ
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Thanked:0
Posted: 03-21-06 12:28pm
I agree with morning glory.....I meant for
part I see so many too many women use men
to replace that empty feeling.....You may
not feel it now but your a strong
woman!!!!! My stoy is long but if you
want me to share it I will....
We are allll here for you!!!!! You need
fiends and support
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littlesqueaks
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 296 Location: Caldwell, Idaho
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Thanked:0
Posted: 06-13-06 21:07pm
I found that with my two boys after my
divorce and their father had moved away is
to have family near by for one and to
maintain a friendly relationship with the
ex. Make sure that there is always
contact by phone, letters, packages ect...
From the ex to your son so that way your
son will grow up knowing that he is still
apart of his life it is just from a
distance. My boys have never seen it as a
bad thing and their father moved when they
were 5 and 3 they are now 7 and 5 and they
enjoy every minute that gives them some
kind of contact with their father and look
forward to when they get to spend time
with him.
As for you remain strong for your son
don't let him see that this is a bad thing
because you know deep down it is a good
thing for the future of you and your son.
Things will go as well as you make them
go. Enjoy discovering yourself and the
joys of just being a parent things will
happen the way they are suppose to happen.
Hope this helped some. Heather
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