14 Weeks Left & Terrified Posted: 12-21-05 09:41am
I am 26 years old & 26 weeks pregnant.
This whole thing is making me sick. I
am ridiculously scared, and I doubt I will
ever be ready. I am in a totally
disfunctional relationship, which has only
gotten worse since I have become pregnant.
We are living in an apartment which I
cannot afford without his assistance, but
if you walk inside we look as if we are
living like white trash. I try to clean
up, but he just makes it worse. He has a
porn & drug addiction.
I am embarrassed to be bringing a child
into such a morbid relationship. I want
to leave, but when I try, things seem to
spiral out of control. He becomes
threatening, then remorseful. He
promises that things will change when the
baby gets here, yeah right. He begs me
for at least a chance for him to show me
that. He supports me financially,
although I work full time aswell &
attend college. We struggle with both of
our incomes, cutting that in half would be
tragic. I have no where else to go
besides where I am living now.
Emotionally, well there is absolutely no
emotional support!! I try to clean, take
out the trash, shovel the dog crap. I
asked him for a 10 second back rub the
other day...Because I couldnt reach a
certain spot. His response: "why dont
you rub my back" he also tells me,
pregnant women arent attractive.
I am so scared about everything. He has
never physically hurt me, has expressed
wanting to, but never has. His parents
are pretty supportive, but in total denial
that their son is so messed up.
Sorry to ramble on, but sometimes I
question the decision I have made, in
every aspect. I already love this baby,
but am I being fair bringing him into such
an unhealthy environment?
|
pinkrakel
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Dec 2005 Posts: 34 Location: england
Posted: 12-21-05 09:52am
To be honest hunni u need to get out of
this situation for the sake of the child
what if your man is goin to do something
one of these days u need to think of
yourself and especially this little baby
i have been in a relationship like this
before he was on drugs and it isnt a nice
aptmoshere to live in lets out it that way
surely u can find a shelter for mums or a
refegge to stay in
well good luck and if you want to email me
you can
i agree with pinkrakel! You need to get
out of that relationship. I too have
been in this type of relationship. He
does not appreciate you and you are so
valuable and deserve to be treated like
the precious jewel that you are. No
matter what he says he will not change and
you should not wait around for something
that will never happen.
I almost married a guy just like you
current boy friend, we dated for 4 years
and were engaged for a year. God finally
opened my eyes and I realized I was
settling for less, that he has a perfect
plan for my life and that I was not living
it. Fortunately I was still living at
home and did not have the financial burden
you are struggling with. But, I strongly
urge you to get out while you still can
before he hurts you, don't waist another
minute of your time with him. I left the
guy I was about to marry and took a step
of faith and just trusted that the lord
would provide and take care of me. Well,
he did and I have now been married to the
most wonderful and supportive husband for
5 years. This is our first child and he
has been great through it all.
You may not be able to afford the place
you are currently living in but i'm sure
there is some place that you can afford on
just your income. It may require you
quitting school for a while. You can do
it, seriously!!!
But, once you do it, do not under any
circumstance take him back, my x called me
up until the night of my wedding, he
called me for 2 years after we broke up
trying to convince me that he had changed
and that he would be different, but I did
not believe a word of it. While we were
going out I was convinced that one day he
would change and grow up, but that day
never came and as far as I know he is
still on the same path.
Please get out, you are so precious and
deserve so much more, live you life to the
fullest, and don't settle for anything
less just because it is comfortable and
all you know and hard to get out. We
will thank you self for doing this down
the road no matter how hard it may seem
right now. I know I sure thank the lord
for getting me out when he did, I could
not have done it without him.
Please let me know how things are going,
my email address is crysiemc@
yahoo.Com.
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This page was last updated on June 11, 2008
