Joined: 25 Jan 2006 Posts: 18 Location: birmingham
Sex B4 Marriage Posted: 01-25-06 07:56am
Maybe hes insecure. He's has never been
with a virgin,i think im the closest he
got to a virgin. I think his idea stems
frm his big brother who he looks up2.His
brother married a virgin. Also maybe
becuase he thinks his sisiters are virgins
too.I think differently though.
In a way I feel sorry4 her because his
brother isnt even all that and thats all
she knows. And apparently thats all shes
going to get.
|
Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 01-25-06 10:23am
I agree.I use to think sex b4 mariage was
bad,but now I don't see how you can wait
until your married.It may be a sin but I
don't think god is going to damn us for it
ya know? God loves all!
|
Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Re: Enhance Your Sex Life Posted: 01-25-06 10:27am
elinstam
wrote:
i m personal experience I
used this product horn
y goat weed before the married.And I
suggest you to visit this site herb4sex
can girls and guys take it?Does it give
you an o easier?
|
TysonH
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Sep 2005 Posts: 52
Posted: 01-25-06 12:46pm
Thanks you everyone for your replies. I
wanted a woman and males perspective on
this topic, and as I figured, the woman
replied the most. A few have asked if it
was making love and not sex, and yes, it
is making love-bringing a couple closer
together and knowing you are comfortable
with eachother.
Ok, to the person that called the guy
discusing to his girlfriend about virgins,
and calling him a friend..I can kind of
see his point. Now I don't consider
myself a friend, but for me, it's hard
knowing that my girlfriend has had sex
with other men..She started at age 14!!
Which hurts, even more knowing there's
nothign I can do to change that.
..Including a one night stand at age 15.
It makes me sick to my stomach, which
sometimes is why it's easier for me to say
I love her, than other times. When it's
on my mind, it's hard for me to say I love
her. And it does hurt.
As I mentioned earlier, making love shows
how comfortable you are with the person,
and knowing she did that with other guys,
and knowing she was somewhat comfortable
with them, well sucks! And knowing that I
can never take her virginity or experience
that with her, also sucks. Many guys say
it sucks to have sex with virgins becuase
of the pain and crap, but I think it's
more the experience with eachother that
counts. She is in love with me now, and
took my virginity after 6months of dating.
She is over her rebellion stage, and
doing awesome without the drinking and
smoking now. It's jsut hard to know ur
partner was like that at that age.
Neway, sorry for the long reply. I also
believe sex is important in a relationship
to keep the "spark" going. However, it is
is without, and the couple is doing fine
without it, then that is awesome as well.
|
Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Tyson Posted: 01-25-06 13:07pm
tysonh
wrote:
thanks you everyone for your
replies. I wanted a woman and males
perspective on this topic, and as I
figured, the woman replied the most. A
few have asked if it was making love and
not sex, and yes, it is making
love-bringing a couple closer together and
knowing you are comfortable with
eachother.
Ok, to the person that called the guy
discusing to his girlfriend about virgins,
and calling him a friend..I can kind of
see his point. Now I don't consider
myself a friend, but for me, it's hard
knowing that my girlfriend has had sex
with other men..She started at age 14!!
Which hurts, even more knowing there's
nothign I can do to change that.
..Including a one night stand at age 15.
It makes me sick to my stomach, which
sometimes is why it's easier for me to say
I love her, than other times. When it's
on my mind, it's hard for me to say I love
her. And it does hurt.
As I mentioned earlier, making love shows
how comfortable you are with the person,
and knowing she did that with other guys,
and knowing she was somewhat comfortable
with them, well sucks! And knowing that
I can never take her virginity or
experience that with her, also sucks.
Many guys say it sucks to have sex with
virgins becuase of the pain and crap, but
I think it's more the experience with
eachother that counts. She is in love
with me now, and took my virginity after
6months of dating. She is over her
rebellion stage, and doing awesome without
the drinking and smoking now. It's jsut
hard to know ur partner was like that at
that age.
Neway, sorry for the long reply. I also
believe sex is important in a relationship
to keep the "spark" going. However, it
is is without, and the couple is doing
fine without it, then that is awesome as
well.
I don't think about my bf having sex
with any of his x's but I have before a
couple of times and it did disturb
me.However like you said you cannot change
the past and whats done is done.I know
since your a virgin it seems worss but as
time goes by you will be ok,promise!Just
don't think about it so much,and remember
that you love each other! ; )
|
TysonH
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Sep 2005 Posts: 52
Posted: 01-25-06 14:36pm
Well we have had sex, quite a few
times..And it is wonderful with her. In
our future, that will not be a problem
with us. We are very intimate. Just
sometimes, I feel I don't treat her very
well, because of the thoughts in my head.
I get quiet, and don't say much. And I
know it's immature, but it's hard for me,
when i'm looking at her, and thinking of
her past.
It's just scary, cuz I don't want to be
married, and have this come back later on
in life, and bite me in the ass again. I
got for a while and it's ok..Then everyone
once in a while, it hurts again. It's
just a mess..
Sometimes, I jsut want to break it off,
so I don't have to worry about it at all.
And I know they say virgins nowadays are
hard to find, well I know a few. Just
that they don't have the personality quite
like my current girlfriend. It's just a
back and forth battle at times..And I hear
it does get better in time, but I jsut
hate the moments when i'm thinkin about it
and it hurts her to know it's hurting me.
|
Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 01-25-06 14:46pm
tysonh
wrote:
well we have had sex, quite
a few times..And it is wonderful with her.
In our future, that will not be a
problem with us. We are very intimate.
Just sometimes, I feel I don't treat her
very well, because of the thoughts in my
head. I get quiet, and don't say much.
And I know it's immature, but it's hard
for me, when i'm looking at her, and
thinking of her past.
It's just scary, cuz I don't want to be
married, and have this come back later on
in life, and bite me in the ass again.
I got for a while and it's ok..Then
everyone once in a while, it hurts again.
It's just a mess..
Sometimes, I jsut want to break it off,
so I don't have to worry about it at all.
And I know they say virgins nowadays are
hard to find, well I know a few. Just
that they don't have the personality quite
like my current girlfriend. It's just a
back and forth battle at times..And I hear
it does get better in time, but I jsut
hate the moments when i'm thinkin about it
and it hurts her to know it's hurting
me.
think of this tyson.On one hand you think
about it,it hurts,you break up with
her.How easy will it be to find another
girl with her personality and be a
virgin?On the other you break up and find
a girl who is not a virgin,which means you
will be thinking the same thing but maybe
worss because maybe she has had more one
night stands than your currend gf. You
just have to stop thinking about it.Just
because she slept with other guys does not
mean she felt the same way as she feels
about you.To me, all my relationships have
been different and when I have loved any
of them,it has all been in a different way
and for different reasons.If they had what
you have,don't you think she would still
be with them?Think about it.Tell me if
this helped you out any.
|
TysonH
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Sep 2005 Posts: 52
Posted: 01-25-06 15:07pm
See, that's what I do think about. And I
am lucky to have someone like her, just
sometimes, I feel she deserves someone who
wouldn't treat her like this. At the same
time, it's also up to her to stay with me,
ya know. I feel fine for a while, then it
just comes back. Right now, I know if I
gave in and let her go, I wouldn't feel
much pain or regret. But deep down, when
I really think about it, I know things
would be so much different without her. I
love her, and my parents absolutely love
her to, and she's very trustworthy. I
just have to stop questioning her past and
getting every intimate detail. It's just
very unfortunate that we can't experience
intimacy for her first time with me.
And yes, if she did like them, she would
be with them. Just bothers me she would
open up her body to someone she hardly
knew at such a young age, and that she
would have sex for the wrong reasons. But
I know, I need to get over it, and
understand that it may have been a rough
time, and that she is different now and
with me now. Thanks for replying
melissa..
|
Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 01-25-06 15:17pm
tysonh
wrote:
see, that's what I do think
about. And I am lucky to have someone
like her, just sometimes, I feel she
deserves someone who wouldn't treat her
like this. At the same time, it's also
up to her to stay with me, ya know. I
feel fine for a while, then it just comes
back. Right now, I know if I gave in
and let her go, I wouldn't feel much pain
or regret. But deep down, when I really
think about it, I know things would be so
much different without her. I love her,
and my parents absolutely love her to, and
she's very trustworthy. I just have to
stop questioning her past and getting
every intimate detail. It's just very
unfortunate that we can't experience
intimacy for her first time with me.
And yes, if she did like them, she would
be with them. Just bothers me she would
open up her body to someone she hardly
knew at such a young age, and that she
would have sex for the wrong reasons.
But I know, I need to get over it, and
understand that it may have been a rough
time, and that she is different now and
with me now. Thanks for replying
melissa..
no problem tyson.I have been in a similar
situation w/my x,he slept with a lot of
people and I hated to think about it,but I
realized that its my choice to be with him
and if I was going to let it bother me
that much maybe I should'nt be with
him,but then I thought (back then)how I
might not find anyone better than my man!
Only you control what you think about so
its not really necessary to think about it
at all.Kids are stupid when they're
young,i was.Also think about this-(god
forbid)you and your girl break up,you find
a virgin and she feels toward you how you
feel toward your girl right now.That would
probably bother you.Sorry for rambling!
I hope I helped you out tyson.Please keep
me updated on how you feel!
|
TysonH
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Sep 2005 Posts: 52
Posted: 01-25-06 17:23pm
I appreciate your kind words and your
willing to care melissa! And no, you
weren't rambling, it's very much so
encouraging. See, every once in a while
that uplifting really is needed. And then
it seems to slowly go back downhill until
I get that enouragement to continue on.
So had you previously had sex before your
bf as of now!? Or is he ur first? Since
u stated that u were "stupid" when you
were young as well. Also, I brought this
topic to my mother, and she put it very
well. "who are you to think u r better
than someone else, just becuase you were
not like them when u were younger." I do
need to stop thinking I am better of a
person because I did not take part in
drinking, smoking, and having sex at that
age. I was my own person and didn't
follow others. I just wished and hoped to
god that it could've been different for my
girlfriend. And I can't keep bringing it
up to her.
I think in my head I keep thinking that
she loves me so much, if I were to end it,
I can always get her back. However, that
doesn't always work out that way. And it
hurts me now to even think of us breakin
up and her being with another guy, because
I want that energetic personality of hers
with me. So it's not like I don't
care..Just very hard. Neway..
Sorry bout my own rambling, but once
again, I appreciate that comments.
Hopefully within the next few months I can
get rid of everything completely!! Thanks
again everyone, and mel!
|
joem112630
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jan 2006 Posts: 14
Sunday? Posted: 01-25-06 18:56pm
The reason that it is "not right" to have
sex before marriage is that after you have
sex, that's it... You can't go any
further. I'm not against, trust me. But
i've had that discussion with a priest.
Try viewing love as a sunday...(i can't
belive i'm doing this) the first spoon of
ice cream is love. The second spoon is
communication, then after that the fudge
and the spakrles are trust, respect,
understanding, and of course, physical
attraction. Sex is the cherry. You
can't have too many cherries, you'll get
sick. (thought I might add) you can't
have the cherry without the sunday.
It's just another way of viewing things.
It's the way we wer taught that in gym
class, by the priest who came here to give
his oppinion on things. It's also the way
I view thing too. I see sex as a very
emotional state, it would be silly to have
a broken heart over that. If you're
ready and you're sure of what you want to
do, go for it. It's only you who knows
for sure... I say, just make sure the
person is not taking advantage in you, and
that, of course, you don't start sleeping
arround....
My advice...Stay on the safe side.
Joem112630
|
TysonH
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Sep 2005 Posts: 52
Posted: 01-25-06 19:07pm
Right, and I totally agree with you joem.
That was a reason why I was scared of
having sex with my girlfriend. Once u
have it, it is done..I mean, what other
intimate thing is there to do!? Well,
there's so much for to look forward to
though. I mean, long walks with
eachother, trips with eachothers,
snowsledding together, romantic dinners.
I mean, sex doesn't have to be the most
important thing, and when it's talked
about how once it's performed that's the
farthest u can go, well there's much for
to do. And if you want to talk sex
talk..Then experiment. Role play, set up
romantic nights. There's a different
variation of things to do. Let ur
imagination go. I for one have not done
this role playing stuff, but for a couple
who feels once sex is done, and what
now..That's somethin to try out.
But also, as joem stated, be on the safe
side, and be sure it's for love, not just
for casual sex, or friends with benefits,
or this hooking up crap. Sex is a sexual
urge many feel they need to satisfy, but
satisfy it with someone you love, not
someone you just can do it with!..
|
Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Re: Sunday? Posted: 01-26-06 08:58am
joem112630
wrote:
the reason that it is "not
right" to have sex before marriage is that
after you have sex, that's it... You
can't go any further. I'm not against,
trust me. But i've had that discussion
with a priest. Try viewing love as a
sunday...(i can't belive i'm doing this)
the first spoon of ice cream is love.
The second spoon is communication, then
after that the fudge and the spakrles are
trust, respect, understanding, and of
course, physical attraction. Sex is the
cherry. You can't have too many
cherries, you'll get sick. (thought I
might add) you can't have the cherry
without the sunday.
It's just another way of viewing things.
It's the way we wer taught that in gym
class, by the priest who came here to give
his oppinion on things. It's also the
way I view thing too. I see sex as a
very emotional state, it would be silly to
have a broken heart over that. If
you're ready and you're sure of what you
want to do, go for it. It's only you
who knows for sure... I say, just make
sure the person is not taking advantage in
you, and that, of course, you don't start
sleeping arround....
My advice...Stay on the safe side.
Joem112630
i hate to say it but I don't agree.Ok say
you wait to have sex until you get
married.You have sex,then what else do you
do for the next 20-50yrs you will spend
with them? Its the same as sex b4
marriage but sooner.Marriage was meant to
be a bonding type thing after you get
married,not to keep you from getting
bored.If you really love the
person,wherther you have sex before or
after marriage,you will still love them-it
wono[t go away because you have nothing
more to do,lol.
|
Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 01-26-06 09:06am
tysonh
wrote:
i appreciate your kind words
and your willing to care melissa! And
no, you weren't rambling, it's very much
so encouraging. See, every once in a
while that uplifting really is needed.
And then it seems to slowly go back
downhill until I get that enouragement to
continue on. So had you previously had
sex before your bf as of now!? Or is he
ur first? Since u stated that u were
"stupid" when you were young as well.
Also, I brought this topic to my mother,
and she put it very well. "who are you
to think u r better than someone else,
just becuase you were not like them when u
were younger." I do need to stop thinking
I am better of a person because I did not
take part in drinking, smoking, and having
sex at that age. I was my own person and
didn't follow others. I just wished and
hoped to god that it could've been
different for my girlfriend. And I can't
keep bringing it up to her.
I think in my head I keep thinking that
she loves me so much, if I were to end it,
I can always get her back. However, that
doesn't always work out that way. And it
hurts me now to even think of us breakin
up and her being with another guy, because
I want that energetic personality of hers
with me. So it's not like I don't
care..Just very hard. Neway..
Sorry bout my own rambling, but once
again, I appreciate that comments.
Hopefully within the next few months I can
get rid of everything completely!!
Thanks again everyone, and
mel!
yes I had sex before my bf now.I stated
that I was stupid when I was young bc I
used sex in the wrong way.When I lost my v
I did it because of lust(i had mistaken it
for love since he was going to be my
first) and I also did it to keep him with
me and not some other female.See,i was
young and stupid because actually that sex
meant nothing to me in the end.Now I have
my bf and I know what love and caring from
a partner means and I feel like its right
to have sex with him,i can feel it.He is
the one I thoguht about having sex with
his x but then I thought to myself,'if she
had what I have he would still be with
her' and 'he loves me'.I know these things
bc I think those things about him.I never
really thought about it again.Things will
work out tyson,you just have to learn to
let it go.If you ever need anyone to talk
to about it i'm here,just ask for my mail!
