Hey well I haven't been on here in a while
so I just wanted to give an update I
guess. Well I haven't purged that much
well other than the past week. I realized
that I started to get really bad binges
after I had tried to get back to my
regular schedule with it though. About a
week ago I was purging 2 times a night. I
would eat then take a shower and purge
then I would eat liuke a salad and
something else and purge it. I went to
arby's the other day and ate 2 roast beef
sandwhiches and fries. I think that if I
was to stop purging I would start eatting
compulsively though. I have gained a few
pounds and it makes me a lil sad though.
I weighed 109 onenight before I went to
bed and then in the morning I went to the
bathroom and I weighed 107.8 I felt so
proud of my self so I am gonna try to
invest in getting a scale that tells you
the pounds and then the point. I really
wantone of them scales though. Well I
just though I would leave a lil post and
wish everyone a merry x-mas and hope that
you make it through x-mas dinner I hate
holidays nowjust because we always have
big dinners. Thanks to everyone that has
been here to support me and if any1 wants
to talk will always be here.
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lisabeth
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Aug 2005 Posts: 22 Location: bermuda
Posted: 12-27-05 18:22pm
Hey angel,
i havent been here for awhile also, how is
it going, the holidays is a hard time, ik
have had a few slip ups myself.
Did you ever get help, the last I heard
was you just told your mum and dad.
Merry xmas to you as well and all the very
best for 2006
love lisa
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lonely_angel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 128 Location: missouri
Hey Posted: 12-28-05 20:31pm
Hey, welll things have been ok I never
went to get help. I think my mom is ok
with it as long as I take vitamins ya
know. I went to the doctors adn all they
did was give my mom a number to an ed
clinic. She never called there and it has
been about 2 months. I think she is in
denial that her kid has a problem. I
haven't purged lately. I miss it alot
though which is sad to say though. I got
my nails done so I have beena lil scared
to do it thinking that the accrilic or
nail might break off into my throat and
choke me lol. Alot has happened since the
last time we have talked. I might be
going to juvi or getting put on probation.
I have old runaway things that the
juvinile office is now wanting to see me
about that so I am very nervous. I never
really ran away either it is really dumb
my family doesn't communicate well lol. I
have been hurt by two guys cause I let my
guard down which doesn't make life any
easier. Well yeah sorry I rambled along
but yeah how have things been going for
you. I hope all is well yeah holidays
really are the worst for people with an
ed. I was like the most miserable person
on x-mas.
|
lisabeth
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Aug 2005 Posts: 22 Location: bermuda
Posted: 12-28-05 20:56pm
Hey, so good to here from you.
You seem such a smart girl, keep your
chin up.
I was ed free for over two months and I
have got into the cycle the past week , in
those two months I actually lost weight
and now I feel huge again, so bp really
doesn't work.
I know what you mean about missing it, it
is like a old friend(very destructive
friend), sort of like a old boyfriend who
is no good for us.
Here's to 2006, getting rid of that
destuctive friend!!!
Take care and have a happy new year!!
Lots of love lisabeth
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lonely_angel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 128 Location: missouri
Posted: 12-29-05 21:41pm
Yeah, a friend that you can't stand but
love so much. I think that if I was to
stop purging then I would become a
compulsive eatter. I never really have
bad binges. I eat normally but then I use
to purge that. Now when I eat normally it
is just like woah I am eatting to much
cause I am not purging. Like right now I
am so aggrivated with things. When I
stopped purging I started smoking more. I
can't stand it anymore.
|
JJRT14
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Dec 2005 Posts: 14 Location: Pickering
Posted: 01-04-06 10:21am
Hey lonely angel
i understand what your saying I have that
problem were I find if I dont pruge I eat
alot and I gain so much weight even though
I exercise and work out I still have all
this fat on me and I hate it. I also find
to that if I dont pruge I become more
stressed or I worry about the things on my
mind or the way my body looks I dont know
its like if I dont purge I eat alot and if
I dont eat alot im happy but then I still
pruge because nothing is in my system.
But latly ive been just drinking liqiuds
like for some reason food turns me off and
when I see it im like ewww.. Thats soo
much fat added to me n im fat as it is so
why am I ganna eat that. ? :x I dont
understand it but yeah I get what your
saying about what your talking about.
Merry christmas to you too and happy new
year.. :d :?
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JJRT14
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Dec 2005 Posts: 14 Location: Pickering
Posted: 01-04-06 10:24am
P/s: I cant spell .. Purge* is what I
mean to say lol I was spelling it pruge
but yeah lol
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lonely_angel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 128 Location: missouri
Posted: 01-06-06 00:02am
I know it is like I can't live with my
bulimia but I can't live with out it.
Like purging is what makes me feel pretty
or something. I think I am a lil addicted
to food though. I can't stand it though
as much as I would love to give up eating
it is something that I can't do. Last
year I went like half of the year living
on one meal a day. I would go to school
not eat then go home and eat but then
purge. I was really happy last year. I
didn't really have a problemw ith going to
school as much as I do this year. I
didn't purge for a while then I felt like
wow. I couldn't even stand to be around
people because I felt so horrible and
chunky. I mean I am like 5'2 and weight
like 107 pounds. I know people would love
to weigh that but it doesn't matter to me
I wanna be like super modle skinny. I
never will be though cause I can't stop
shoving my face with calories and carbs.
Ggggrrrrr..........
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