I have been married for a little over 3
yrs now. This past year and half has been
the worst of my life. Shortly after
building a new house and building a life
together, my husband completely pulls out
of our marriage. He doesnt talk to me,
doesnt have any kind of interaction with
me, he just wants to hang out with his
buddies, but still come home to me. And
he doesnt understand why I get upset about
it.
Since around thanksgiving last yr, we have
split up 3 seperate times. The first time
he came back a month or so later and
wanted to work it out. I was so excited
because I have always wanted to try to
work things out. We did great for about 6
months and then things slowly started
going down hill again. So we split again.
Now recently we got back together for a
few weeks and now he is gone again. 2 of
these times I did ask him to leave because
I didnt feel like he wanted to be there
for me , but he was only staying in our
home to have some where to sleep every
night.
We went through counseling together
before, but this last time he decided that
he needed to go for himself (which I think
is a great idea, b/c he is extremely
depressed and alot of it has to do with
how he was raised) he has been going and
doing very good. I also go by myself.
The problem is that I dont know how to
really deal with this anymore, its been
going on for so long now. And after the
2nd time we split he filed for a divorce.
I eventually signed my papers and mailed
them in. It was the hardest thing in the
world for me to do. My problem comes in
here with the fact that at first he told
me that he didnt want a divorce and that
if it were up to him that I didnt have to
sign them and that he was just mad when he
filed them, now he thinks I should just
sign them and if we could work it out
eventually, we could just get remarried.
I dont agree, but oh well.....They are in
the mail now.
I know that he does still love me, and I
still love him. He just has a very hard
time showing me the things that I need
from him. I know that he is dealing with
his own issues that he needs to in
counseling, but how do I be supportive
without feeling like I do. I feel more
depressed that he's gone now, I feel like
he may never want to work things out with
himself or with me. And it kills me on
the inside. How can I figure out to give
him his space that he needs and still be
ok with it and not take his distance as
regection? His depression has sent me
into a severe depression myself! I cant
hold it together lately. I just want to
sit around and cry all day!! Any advice?
I just needed to get all this off my
chest.
I know that we are getting a divorce but
its still not over for either of us.
|
tawnie_j
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Jan 2006 Posts: 19 Location: Texas
You Sound Like Me... Posted: 01-06-06 17:37pm
...You're holding on to the hope that
things will get better. I can't find the
gull to let go and leave myself. My
situation has been 90% bad since day one.
I think I have a lonliness disorder....If
there is one. I'm so afraid of being by
myself, that I can't let go of what is
killing me.
I saw an email today...It was a story
about a man that was rock climbing by
himself. It turned dark, and he could
barely see his hand in front of his face.
He took one more step up the mountain and
slipped, and started to fall. All he
could see were stars flash in front of his
eyes, and he started to think about all
the things he had done in his life, those
of which made him proud and those he was
ashamed of. He knew he was coming close
to death as he fell like a solid rock,
when he felt the sharp tug of a rope
around his waist. He'd been stopped from
his fall by a rope he had tied off at the
top of the mountain.
He dangled there in mid-air, and called to
god, "lord please save me."
a voice came down from the sky and said,
"you wish for me to save you? Well then
cut yourself from the rope."
the man thought to himself, "i'm secure
right where i'm at. Why cut myself free,
and fall to my death." so he continued to
hang there.
The next morning rescuers went searching
for a man who had been reported missing.
They found the man, dangling from a rope,
frozen to death, 10 ft. From the ground.
Take the story how you want to, however,
do you wish to hang on and kill yourself,
or take a chance and cut yourself free so
that maybe you can be happy??
