Joined: 26 Dec 2005 Posts: 95 Location: York, England
Help, Can Only Sleep Alone Posted: 12-26-05 11:41am
Hello. I am new and i’m not sure where
to post this, so feel free to move it to
the appropriate forum.
My problem is that I am a very light
sleeper, and I can’t sleep in a bed with
another person. I am a happily married
woman. My husband and I have a great sex
life, but when it comes to actually
sleeping, I can’t sleep in the bed with
him. Just the noise of him breathing
makes it difficult for me to relax and
fall asleep, and if I do fall asleep, if
he starts to breathe loudly or snore (he
doesn’t snore unusually loudly and he
doesn’t snore the whole night), I wake
up and feel very agitated and can’t get
back to sleep. I sleep with earplugs on,
and they help a bit, but they haven’t
solved the problem.
I find that to fall asleep at all, I have
to turn around so that my head is at the
foot of the bed, where his feet are,
because my husband breathing near my head
will keep me up. Also, if I wake up in
the middle of the night I have to go and
sleep in the living room because i’ll
never get back to sleep in the bed with
him. This happens every night, and I find
that I am getting tired from moving my
pillows and blankets back and forth from
the bed to the couch.
The odd thing is, during the day I fall
asleep in my husband’s presence without
wanting to. For example, if we’re
watching a movie, i’ll fall asleep on
his shoulder and sleep through the whole
movie. Or if he’s driving the car,
i’ll fall asleep in the passenger seat.
I just seem to have this problem when
i’m in bed and know that I have to be up
for work in a certain number of hours.
I have had this problem with previous
relationships as well.
I have always been a very light sleeper
and awaken at the slightest noise. Once,
when I was living with my parents, I awoke
to what I thought was a mouse scurrying
around. It turned out that my mother was
washing the outside of my bedroom door,
and the noise was the washcloth rubbing
against the outside of the door. My bed
was all the way at the opposite end of the
bedroom. My mother was amazed that I
could hear it.
I think the problem might stem from the
fact that when I was little, my brother,
who is 12 years older than me, used to
stand over me at night very quietly and
watch me. It was very creepy. I would
wake up suddenly and he would be standing
over me. I was told that he was checking
to see if I was breathing. So I think I
have developed some kind of paranoid
hypersensitivity where, when i’m trying
to sleep, I can’t ignore the sounds and
people around me and relax.
I rarely have trouble falling asleep when
I am alone, by the way. However, whether
I am alone or with someone, I have to
sleep with a pillow over my head.
If anyone can provide me with any advice
on how to relax and just fall asleep next
to my husband, I would appreciate it. It
makes me feel very bad to have to leave
him every night and sleep in another room.
