Joined: 27 Dec 2005 Posts: 4 Location: Raleigh, NC
Just Found Out My Girlfriend Was Pregnant Posted: 12-27-05 14:51pm
Ok here's the deal. My girlfriend and I
had decided to move away from both of out
parents and go about 3 hours away. We
had been living together for about a year
and had our off and on's and our problems.
She was very homesick and had decided
she should go back home beacuse she was
scared of committment. On her way home
she got into a car accident and I came to
the rescue. I took her to the doctor and
we found out she was pregnant. It was
really rough on her telling her mom. We
lasted about another week and a half with
her here and christmas came. I went to
visit my family in west virginia and she
went to visit hers in south carolina. I
came back on sunday but she said she
wouldn't be able to come back until
tuesday because of a dr apt. Now she has
scheduled another appointment for next
week in south carolina to see an obgyn.
She has had thoughts of staying there and
not coming back.
I was wondering what I can do to help her?
I really want to be part of her life and
my childs life. At one point she says
she is coming back and at another she
doesn't know. Any one have any
suggestions on what I can do? I feel
like I am missing out on everything with
her. I want to take care of her and
watch every step of the way. Anyone go
through this? I have been told it's
natural for a girl to want to be with her
mother during a pregnancy. Any
responses are greatly appreciated.
|
~baby~g~
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jul 2005 Posts: 221 Location: Ohio
Posted: 12-27-05 15:02pm
How old are you 2?? It is true that most
girls want to be around their mother or
another older lady. How about you go to
where she is & stay with her until she
is ready to go back? If that's possbile,
I dunno. Comfort her and just let her
know you'll be there for her through
everything & remind her that you are
the babies father!! Hopefully everything
works out for you!
|
customb
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Dec 2005 Posts: 4 Location: Raleigh, NC
Posted: 12-27-05 15:08pm
I am 24 and she is 20. I am giogn to try
and go down this weekend. But I have to
work during the week.
|
wife_and_mom4life
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Dec 2005 Posts: 53 Location: Amherst VA
Posted: 12-27-05 16:33pm
Hey! Okay, my best suggestion to you
would be for you to go to where she is,
move to south carolina with her.
Pregnancy is a very very confussing time
in a womens life. She probably feels safe
with her mother so, with her mother is
where she is probably going to stay. The
stress of making the decision of staying
where she is or coming back to you is not
good on your un-born child. What are the
reasons why you can't move to south
carolina, get a job there, and the two of
you get a place near her mother? I hope
all works out for you!
God bless and good luck,
teresa
|
fatfamily02
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 3050 Location: Georgia, USA
Posted: 12-27-05 16:53pm
I would attempt the going to sc to be with
her. If all else fails you could stay in
your car, or a shelter until a paycheck
comes in.
|
customb
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Dec 2005 Posts: 4 Location: Raleigh, NC
Posted: 12-27-05 16:54pm
We actually just moved from there a month
ago. We didn't know she was pregnant.
She wanted to move, applied to school,
helped pick out the place I bought. So
now I have a new place, a new job and
everything else. I can't just pack up
and move back there. She is going where
everything is comfortable.
Alternatively does anyone know the odds of
me getting custody of the child if she
doesn't come back? :(
|
wife_and_mom4life
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Dec 2005 Posts: 53 Location: Amherst VA
Posted: 12-27-05 17:09pm
If your girlfriend and your unborn child
mean as much to you as they should then
all of the material things that you just
mentioned shouldn't matter. Your whole
life sometimes must go on hold for a
child. Forget the new home and job...
Your girlfriend and child should mean much
more to you. The chances of you getting
custody of the child aren't very great...
The mother almost always wins the custody
battle (which is very unforunate in some
cases). Do you really love your
girlfriend??
God bless,
teresa
|
wife_and_mom4life
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Dec 2005 Posts: 53 Location: Amherst VA
Posted: 12-27-05 17:11pm
fatfamily02
wrote:
i would attempt the going to
sc to be with her. If all else fails
you could stay in your car, or a shelter
until a paycheck comes
in.
hey fatfamily!! How is the baby
(babies?)? How are you??
God bless,
teresa
|
customb
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Dec 2005 Posts: 4 Location: Raleigh, NC
Posted: 12-27-05 17:16pm
Yes I love her but I have started to doubt
her love for me. I have told her I would
do everything I could to support her. I
would pay what needed to be paid, I would
get her the food she wanted at 2:00 am, I
want nothign mroe than to just take care
fo her and my family. It hurts that she
is contemplating moving back home.
Should I really move back there, take a
job that will not pay nearly as well and
have no insurance to live in another house
from her as she is adament that if s he
moves back there she is living with her
parents. The deal is her parents have
told her "move home we will pay for your
car, your school (she's still in college),
your expenses and take care fo the baby.
You won't haev to worry about anything".
I can't compete with that. So the only
chances I think I have to get custody (if
she indeed does stay home) is to have a
good job, provide a nice home, a loving
house, and insurance/benefits for the
child. I only hope the courts will see
that she moved home, lives with her
parents, doesn't have a job, and still
needs to finish college.
|
wife_and_mom4life
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Dec 2005 Posts: 53 Location: Amherst VA
Posted: 12-27-05 17:43pm
I agree that it is wrong of her parents to
try to keep her and your child away from
you. The reasons you listed (her parents
taking care of everything) is the reason
she is staying. I'm not understanding how
you can think that having a house and
material things are more important than
being with your girlfriend and baby.
Nothing should be me important. Do you
not agree?? Just because your girlfriend
is thinking of staying home (where her
parents will insure a good future for her
and her child... And pay for her
schooling) doesn't mean that she doesn't
love you. It seems to me to be the
opposite. Maybe she thinks that if she
stays with her parents that she can stay
in school and once she is finished be able
to provide for you and your child better
then only you working can. Understand?
You have to look at it from her point of
view as well. If she doesn't stay with
her parents will she be able to continue
school? If not, maybe she is not ready to
give that up... School is very very
important. The courts will not see it
they way you think that they will. The
child being with the mother is in most
cases the best intrest of the child. The
couts will see that the mother is making a
good effort in school and the child has a
good support system through her parents
(yor girlfriends parents). Look, the
bottom line is... Your girlfriend is the
one carrying the child so ultimatly it is
up to her... You have no chose but to do
what she feels is best for the child.
Your son/daughter needs you... Please do
not send him/her back and foward from home
to home and through court over and over
again just because you didn't want to give
up your home and job and move back to
south carolina. Just move back... Gret
your teeth and bare it for a while...
Your child will thank you for it some
day.
God bless,
teresa
|
fatfamily02
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 3050 Location: Georgia, USA
Posted: 12-27-05 17:55pm
customb
wrote:
we actually just moved from
there a month ago. We didn't know she
was pregnant. She wanted to move,
applied to school, helped pick out the
place I bought. So now I have a new
place, a new job and everything else. I
can't just pack up and move back there.
She is going where everything is
comfortable.
Alternatively does anyone know the odds of
me getting custody of the child if she
doesn't come back?
:(
she understands all of this too---so give
her a while with her comfort--and if she
truly loves you she will come back. If
she doesnt then it has all been excuses
and you need to try and get atleast
partial custody. Just dont try and take
the kid from her. Without darn good
money and top of the line lawyer it wont
happen. I wish you lots of luck.
My son is married to a woman like that,
she just has to take up and leave every
once in awhile, but she always comes home.
And all the reasons she has for leaving
are just excuses for her to get her own
way.
|
fatfamily02
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 3050 Location: Georgia, USA
Posted: 12-27-05 17:57pm
wife_and_mom4life
wrote:
fatfamily02
wrote:
i would attempt the going to
sc to be with her. If all else fails
you could stay in your car, or a shelter
until a paycheck comes
in.
hey fatfamily!! How is the baby
(babies?)? How are you??
God bless,
teresa
hi,
how was christmas?? Ours was good. The
baby's are fine. I go to dr appt
tomorrow at 11:15 am. I am so happy.
Cant wait, I am going stir crazy.
|
wife_and_mom4life
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Dec 2005 Posts: 53 Location: Amherst VA
Posted: 12-27-05 18:07pm
Our christmas was great! It was my sons
first (he is 5 months)... He really
didn't know what was going on but had a
ball tearing up the wrapping paper! Lol!
I bet you are going stir crazy!!! How far
along are you now?? Pretty close to time
right? What is your doc app. For
tomorrow?? I'll be praying for you and
your babies!! Are you hoping for boys or
girls or both??
God bless and good luck,
teresa
|
fatfamily02
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 3050 Location: Georgia, USA
Posted: 12-27-05 20:11pm
wife_and_mom4life
wrote:
our christmas was great!
It was my sons first (he is 5 months)...
He really didn't know what was going on
but had a ball tearing up the wrapping
paper! Lol! I bet you are going stir
crazy!!! How far along are you now??
Pretty close to time right? What is your
doc app. For tomorrow?? I'll be
praying for you and your babies!! Are
you hoping for boys or girls or both??
God bless and good luck,
teresa
26.3 weeks today--and once the .Dr
confirms it(tomorrow)they decide how long
to let me go. Around 32 weeks with
abdominal usually. One boy one girl
would be good.
|
Angel_Who_Crys
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Aug 2005 Posts: 181 Location: In The Darkness
Posted: 12-28-05 14:10pm
My name is kisha llwellen im 17 years old
and I am 20 weeks pregnant. I moved out
of home when I was 1m pergnant and almost
everyday I come back home. I never really
liked my mom up and tell now. For some
reason I just wont her near me. My bf is
just lucky that my mom is only around the
corner.
So I think it is a natral thing for a girl
to be around her mom.
