Failure W/ Women Because I'm Ugly Posted: 12-30-05 17:02pm
I truly believe I am a failure with
finding a gf because I am ugly.
About me: i'm 6',36,swm never had a
serious gf, receding hairline but not
bald, quiet but sociable, intelligent and
slender. However, my face is ugly. I
have no cheeks and ugly features in
general. I look slavik, as i've been
told.
I have emailed hundreds of women online
with the ability to engage their interest.
However, as soon as I email them a pic of
myself, they never respond back. This
proves my appearance is a turnoff! The
picture is also the best and most accurate
I can send. I've tried various pics and
the one I send is in the best lighting,
best appearance I could get of myself. I
can email it to you for honest feedback if
you'd like. Anyway, i've posted a picture
personals online with match.Com and
emailed literally 100s of women with no
response or a negative one. Apart from
online, in day to day living, women have
no interest in me. My failure with women
has gotten me very depressed and wishing
to kill myself. However, I can't even do
that because my mom is still alive and
very attached to me, so I don't have the
heart to do that to her - I have to
continue living this lonely life. I was
just wondering if anyone could give me
honest advice on how to accept the fact
that I am ugly and will never marry. I
know this sounds sad, but I also know as I
approach age 36 that it is going to be a
reality. Any advice would be greatly
appreciated. Thanks!
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Kiemister
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 136 Location: ,
Wow.... Posted: 01-01-06 04:12am
Steve, ur situation has impacted me, since
I know ur pain. I am a fatass. But you
see, the thing is, I dont let that bring
me down! I am proud of who I am. You
should be proud of who you are too! Scrw
women for this part of the conversation.
Im 45lbs overweight, and guess what, I
dont care. I mean, im trying to loose it
yea, but ohh well, for now this is who I
am. I have always been fat. But, since I
was 8, I was proud of it,i never cared
what women thought of my looks, here is
how I now have no problems getting a
womam, although I have a soul mate, I
still seek other women. Here is the
story:
growing up was hard for me, family
seperated. Mom was in an island named
trinidad, dad was in new york, my sister
was in florida. I live my whole life like
that with my mom. I lived my life in
trinidad (school years). Growing up was
sort of difficult, ppl callin me fatey,
fat boy, fattas, lardass, etc. They still
do. But, I always was a pervert, and was
deemed "super-perve" frm 6th grade, and
forever remain "kiemister, the
super-perve". I was un-stoppable. I
would do gestures to all the girls to get
them "on", and they would look at me with
disgust, and turn away. But, there was a
girl that was not pretty, but just decent.
She only had one friend. Her name was
rachel. I started talkin to her, but she
said :get the hell away from me u fat
freak. I was crushed. Hearing that frm
her was ....Just...Owch. I just kept
trying to talk to her, and she kept
running away. One day, I found her
crying, because her only friend had cursed
her off. I started trying to make her
feel better. All she could say was leave
me alone fat ass. I wasnt giving up. I
ran and got tissues and wiped her tears.
She punched me in the gut. I cripped to
the floor. She just started beating the
caca outta me. It was horrable. I
couldnt restrain her cuase I was just
helpless, on the floor. After recieving a
broken collor bone, she looked at me and
screamed at her self wut she had done.
She quickly asked me if I was ok, but I
wasnt able to speak, I was in shock. I
manage to get up, and I walked slowly,
just gimping, not able to move my left
side. She was crying, asking if I was ok.
Her mom piked us up, I went to the
hospital, I was given a sling, 17 stiches,
and alot of band-aids. The next day at
shchool, I walk up to her, and just asked
her politley, : are you feeling beter
today?, and I stroked her cheek gently
with my right hand, in a loving way. She
just crumbled, crying in my arms. She was
now feeling better, and from that day on,
we became best friends. We had sex at an
early age, 13, and we go to the same
college. She now is one of the most
beautifull women I have ever seen. And I
am not the best lookin guy.
Aside from her, I was friends with girls
only from that time after. They liked me
cause I am proud of who I am, and they
like my personallity. All the girls opend
up to me in a way they cant to their own
family and boyfriends. I guess I was mr.
Sex advice and anything related with the
female/male body sexually, they would come
to me. So that would be my trait. Maybe
u have a certain trait, like cookin, or
sumthing. Just find a woman, and just
open up to her. Show her what ur traits
are. Dont worry, eventually, you will
find some one.
Good luck man, and pm me if u want to talk
more. I wish you luck on your journey.
|
mindoculus
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Dec 2005 Posts: 17 Location: new york city
Posted: 01-11-06 11:28am
Steve,
same here. I'm about the same age - a
little younger - and I too have
never been in a serious relationship.
I've had a few infatuations, but
i've never been able to pull the trigger.
I've asked a few times but
always been turned down.
Thoughts of suicide have graced my mind
since I was in highschool.
I'm bald but otherwise i'm a decent
looking fellah. But being without
hair at such a young age can be a gross
disadvantage in the social
meat market, especially if you're weighed
down with self-pity, loss
of confidence, and any other psychosocial
hang-up.
I don't have any answers for you. I
continue to suffer. I continue to
struggle.
What I have done is try to better my mind.
I've discovered my soul,
made mighty efforts to improve my
personality, and I try not to
obsesse about my own failings. Instead, I
try to think of the needs
of others. I'm learning how to love. I'm
battling my ego. All this
- and more - so I can be more comfortable
in my own skin.
|
The Godly One
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Jan 2006 Posts: 76
Posted: 01-13-06 19:38pm
Come to the darkside, and your problems
will be solved.
If you do not, then you will meet your
destiny (which is not good).
|
jeanzsdyn
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jan 2006 Posts: 4
Re: Failure W/ Women Because I'm Ugly Posted: 01-20-06 23:23pm
steve3337773
wrote:
i truly believe I am a
failure with finding a gf because I am
ugly.
About me: i'm 6',36,swm never had a
serious gf, receding hairline but not
bald, quiet but sociable, intelligent and
slender. However, my face is ugly. I
have no cheeks and ugly features in
general. I look slavik, as i've been
told.
I have emailed hundreds of women online
with the ability to engage their interest.
However, as soon as I email them a pic
of myself, they never respond back. This
proves my appearance is a turnoff! The
picture is also the best and most accurate
I can send. I've tried various pics and
the one I send is in the best lighting,
best appearance I could get of myself. I
can email it to you for honest feedback if
you'd like.
.............
well, steve, it sounds like you have
managed to find the most shallow group of
women on earth. I have been around long
enough to know that looks are not
everything. What kind of person are you?
Do you have a good heart --care for
others? I have become less interested in
looks and more interested in personality.
There are a few of us gals who don't
care so much if a guy doesn't have the
looks as long as he's got a brain.
Jean
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Kiemister
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 136 Location: ,
!? Posted: 01-21-06 00:36am
Jean, point proven. But, all my
girl-friends (friends that r girs) say
that 99.8% of all women are shallow. This
is a mystery. But, they told me that I am
the kinda guy you depend on for anything.
I gues you have to just find a great
quality about yourslef, and work on it.
Make that one thing ur good at and make it
"you".
|
jeanzsdyn
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jan 2006 Posts: 4
Posted: 01-22-06 20:14pm
I guess that I would agree with that -most
women probably are that shallow. I have
just learned that looks are not
everything. Actually,
i like an 'interesting' face. All those
"beautiful" people are kind of
boring to look at after a while. But as
I said, who are you? What
kind of person are you? That is more
important to me than what
someone looks like.
|
cuteycarrot
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jan 2006 Posts: 5 Location: Kentucky
Posted: 01-24-06 00:29am
My best advice...Have some confidence in
yourself. I am a pretty attractive woman
and i've dated some really good looking
guys, but one of them had such low
confidence it was a huge turn off.
Trying to find someone to date online is
generally not a good idea. For the most
part people online are gonna to judge you
by your picture and that's all they'll
ever see.
And keep in mind...Sometimes the harder
you look the less likely chance of finding
someone. Try and count your blessings.
Things could always be worse.
Trust me...Pretty people don't always have
it as great as you think.
|
Kiemister
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 136 Location: ,
Posted: 01-25-06 20:20pm
cuteycarrot
wrote:
my best advice...Have some
confidence in yourself. I am a pretty
attractive woman and i've dated some
really good looking guys, but one of them
had such low confidence it was a huge turn
off.
Trying to find someone to date online is
generally not a good idea. For the most
part people online are gonna to judge you
by your picture and that's all they'll
ever see.
And keep in mind...Sometimes the harder
you look the less likely chance of finding
someone. Try and count your blessings.
Things could always be worse.
Trust me...Pretty people don't always have
it as great as you
think.
u speak the truth itself
|
Crafter
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Jan 2006 Posts: 5 Location: California
Posted: 02-01-06 18:01pm
Steve,
the external looks are not what
actually counts, to women who know when
they've found a treasure-like you sound to
be. It is the person who you really are
that will eventually come out to the woman
who is meant to be for you. Don't rush
things, eventually she will cross your
path.
By the way, you can't be that ugly.
You may just need to work on your
self-esteem. I welcome the offer of the
pic. Remember, whatever you look like,
it's the inside that really counts.
Gen
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jeanzsdyn
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jan 2006 Posts: 4
Posted: 02-01-06 19:10pm
Hey steve, if you are still out there
reading this: come on, respond to us.
Are you still there dude?
|
The Godly One
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Jan 2006 Posts: 76
Posted: 02-02-06 09:35am
crafter
wrote:
steve,
the external looks are not what
actually counts, to women who know when
they've found a treasure-like you sound to
be. It is the person who you really are
that will eventually come out to the woman
who is meant to be for you. Don't rush
things, eventually she will cross your
path.
By the way, you can't be that ugly.
You may just need to work on your
self-esteem. I welcome the offer of the
pic. Remember, whatever you look like,
it's the inside that really counts.
Gen
i'm sorry but attraction is simply an
evolutionary necessity. There is
absolutely no gaurentee that some magical
girl will float his way for a fairy tail
finish.
Attraction is also a science. If you do
your homework, you can manipulate women
very easily, without them even knowing it.
A women giving advice on the subject is
immaterial, since women, by their very
nature, do not know what they want.
I know that it is the trend to give
cyber-hugs these days and tell those with
problems that everything will be fine, but
that is not the way the world works.
If you want to change your life, you have
got to make the effort. Simple as
that.
Life is easy. It is just the people that
suck.
|
jeanzsdyn
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jan 2006 Posts: 4
Posted: 02-02-06 17:25pm
the godly one
wrote:
i'm sorry but attraction is simply an
evolutionary necessity. There is
absolutely no gaurentee that some magical
girl will float his way for a fairy tail
finish.
Attraction is also a science. If you do
your homework, you can manipulate women
very easily, without them even knowing it.
A women giving advice on the subject is
immaterial, since women, by their very
nature, do not know what they want.
I know that it is the trend to give
cyber-hugs these days and tell those with
problems that everything will be fine, but
that is not the way the world works.
If you want to change your life, you have
got to make the effort. Simple as
that.
Life is easy. It is just the people
that suck.
i object! I truly do not care for
"good-looking" men. My mother once told
me to beware of the good looking men, she
said, "they think an awful lot of
themselves." and mother was right, the
better looking they are the more they are
interested in only themselves.
I repeat, what kind of person are you?
That is what I am interested in.
What you look like is not so important as
long as you are not some kind of slob -i
mean to say you need to be presentable.
That is: know how to dress appropriately
(and no we are not playing 'what not to
wear') and be neat and clean and don't
worry about what your physical 'make-up'
is.
If you are well-groomed and polite that is
a good start.
|
The Godly One
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Jan 2006 Posts: 76
Posted: 02-02-06 20:08pm
jeanzsdyn
wrote:
the godly one
wrote:
i'm sorry but attraction is simply an
evolutionary necessity. There is
absolutely no gaurentee that some magical
girl will float his way for a fairy tail
finish.
Attraction is also a science. If you
do your homework, you can manipulate women
very easily, without them even knowing it.
A women giving advice on the subject
is immaterial, since women, by their very
nature, do not know what they want.
I know that it is the trend to give
cyber-hugs these days and tell those with
problems that everything will be fine, but
that is not the way the world works.
If you want to change your life, you have
got to make the effort. Simple as
that.
Life is easy. It is just the people
that suck.
i object! I truly do not care for
"good-looking" men. My mother once
told me to beware of the good looking men,
she said, "they think an awful lot of
themselves." and mother was right, the
better looking they are the more they are
interested in only themselves.
I repeat, what kind of person are you?
That is what I am interested in.
What you look like is not so important as
long as you are not some kind of slob -i
mean to say you need to be presentable.
That is: know how to dress appropriately
(and no we are not playing 'what not to
wear') and be neat and clean and don't
worry about what your physical 'make-up'
is.
If you are well-groomed and polite that is
a good start.
you are correct when you say that looks do
not matter to such a degree that some
would have you believe. How many times
has a guy looked at a gorgeous girl with
some but ugly scum bag and said "how the
hell did he get off with her"?
I'll tell you how he got off with her.
He is either 1) extremely lucky. Or 2)
(and this is far more likely), he is an
alpha male.
Did he got off with her because he had
some wonderful personality? Hardly.
In fact, he was probably an arrogant
prick.
Am I saying that you have to be an
arrogant prick to get off with girls?
Hell no.
But it does not hurt to have some game.
The secrets of attraction can be learned
by any man.
Only the man with enough confidence to
b**** slap the devil will fulfill his
potential.
But that is ok. One can learn
confidence as well.
|
ttomko
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 10
Posted: 02-15-06 15:30pm
I can understand how you feel, I feelmore
ugly as I get older. I,m a paranoid
schizophrenic and so theres no chance of
me getting one, tho I have had girlfriends
in the past. I,m no picture either but I
wouldnt worry about how you look, if your
nice and presentable than your ok.
Super model women are ugly to me, I like
oddness in a women, something different in
their looks ie a bent nose or something
crooked. And i,m sure some women are the
same. Youve just got to find one that
finds your features appealing, but its an
old thing to say, beauty comes from the
inside.
I,d say dont go looking on the internet as
so many see faces first not personalities,
plus if you smell nice they cant smell you
over the net etc its often the little
things about you that the opposite sex
like.
Talk to people you meet, much better.
Good luck to you
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nightangel73
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2506 Location: ,
Thanks: 14
Thanked:10
Posted: 02-16-06 21:46pm
Okay fellaws, good subject
i hate to say it but I agree that of 99.8
of the women being shallow. But I think
it is not only women, men are exactly the
same way. The more handsome the man is
the more he thinks he can get a "hot
girl". By nature we are attracted by what
looks good. Like food, you do not eat
what you do not like.
What I believe is anyone can look good,
don't have to be mr. America but anyone
can look decent enough. A haircut for
example can make such a huge difference in
how you look. I too offfer myself for the
pic to see. I have to say you I feel for
you. I look attractive now but I wasn't
that born with it. Before getting to the
depression point I decided to do all I
could to look my best since this physical
attraction seem to be so important in the
love field. I was ultra skinny and went
to the gym and gained 25 pounds in the
right places. I had plastic surgery on my
nose and got rid of the acne I used to
have and well you guessed then I started
getting interesting dates. That has been
my experience. I had to work at it.
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Kiemister
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 136 Location: ,
Posted: 04-05-06 23:11pm
Lol this is funny. Watching every1
battle, quote eachother. But the goldy
one ownd. I dont kno yall still arguin...
He is right, nothin to argue with....
Now wathch, sum1 gonna argue with this
statement I am making right now... Its
prolly gonna be u reading this... Go
ahead, push the post reply button u son of
a gun. Lol.
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ajc28
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2006 Posts: 11
Posted: 04-06-06 07:06am
the godly one
wrote:
but that is ok. One can learn
confidence as
well.
so how do you suggest learning some of
that confidence then?
|
down
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2006 Posts: 60
Posted: 06-14-06 01:16am
[quote="the godly
one"][quote="jeanzsdyn"]
the godly one
wrote:
you are correct when you say that looks do
not matter to such a degree that some
would have you believe. How many times
has a guy looked at a gorgeous girl with
some but ugly scum bag and said "how the
hell did he get off with her"?
I'll tell you how he got off with her.
He is either 1) extremely lucky. Or 2)
(and this is far more likely), he is an
alpha male.
Did he got off with her because he had
some wonderful personality? Hardly.
In fact, he was probably an arrogant
prick.
i agree with most of you said but that's
rubbish...I'm ugly and I get the good
looking ladies looking at me all the time
and have had several intrested in me.
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.Heather.
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Jun 2006 Posts: 15
Posted: 06-14-06 01:39am
Ok for one you need to understand that in
order to be ugly in the true sense of the
word then you need to be
dishonsest,mean,evil all in all a bad
person. But here you are reaching out
trying to get some help there fore I can
not believe you are an "ugly" person. And
for two if some one is going to reject you
just from your physical apperance then
they werent for you any way. You need to
understand that the human form is a
beautiful thing and no one is ugly you are
a beautiful person and anyone who tells
you different is truly the ugly one.
