For a while now, i've had what I
considered paranoia. I've thought things
were under my bed, in my closet, in the
backseat of a car, outside the shower
curtain.. Even if it was impossible for
that to be so. I always refer to it as
"my stupid fear".
Eh, examples..
When I go to take a shower, I always look
all around the bathroom.. And then, still
peek out of the curtain every so often.
When I go out with my sister and we're
driving back home late at night (on
backroads), i'm constantly looking over my
shoulder at the backseat to make sure that
no one is there.
When I try to go to sleep at night, it
takes me hours simply because i'm scared I
might have a nightmare. Somehow it ends
up that I always do, and I wake up an hour
(two if i'm lucky) later and am more
scared then before. I often spend my
nights forcing myself back to sleep,
trying to assure myself that i'll be okay.
Well, I thought this was just paranoia. I
went and read about paranoia, hoping to
find out how I could help myself. But
what I read... Well, it seemed to refer
to people who always thought others were
talking bad about them and things like
that. Which.. I'm really not like.
I started getting sick along with this
fear. Maybe it was the lack of sleep,
maybe this is all in my mind...
I get chest pains and stomach aches that
are especially bad when I wake up from
nightmares. I often feel I have to vomit,
and never do. My eyes will burn, my mouth
will get dry. My muscles always feel
sore, like i've been running for an hour..
But I don't work out, in fact, i've been
more lazy then ever. I do practically
nothing all day (not having a job or
school).
I get cold, I get shivers, I get
fevers...
I wish I knew what it all meant. Even if
there was no way to help it, I just..
Want to know whats wrong with me. Am I
going to be okay?
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Justy24
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Dec 2005 Posts: 59 Location: Canada
Scared to Go to Bed Posted: 01-01-06 20:21pm
Hello there,
sounds just like me about 10 years ago.
I would do the same things practically.
I used to do it every august before school
started. I would be scared to go to bed,
I was paranoid to get sick with the flu
because I hated vomitting. When I went
babysitting I would run home because I was
afraid something would jump out at me and
I wouldn't get home. I would have cold
chills, pains in my stomach and dry
heaving, it got bad enough that I
developed gastritis, which is an inflammed
stomach lining. I lost a lot of weight
and felt miserable. But it all passed
with time. No one knew that I had an
anxiety disorder until now and I am 24...
So, go see your doctor, that is what they
get paid for, to help us. I know my
story is not exactly the same but I just
wanted to let you know that you are not
alone. I hope it brought you a little
comfort.
