Depression Forum - Why Shouldn't I Die


Why Shouldn't I Die

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Linz1987

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Posts: 9
Location: Durham

Why Shouldn't I Die Posted: 01-01-06 15:26pm


Recently all I can think about is trying to commit suicide and I can't think of one reason why I shouldn't. I have self-harmed for about six years through mostly cutting but I have also burned myself. If I died I don't think anyone would be too bothered as all my friends have moved on and all I do is fight with my family. I have never been diagnosed with depression, do u think I have it? I use self harming as a way of preventing me taking it any further, I have been self harming more often and more violently. I don't know what to do. Aany suggestions to stop these thoughts and feelings would really be appreciated.

rOaCh

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 17 Jun 2005
Posts: 35
Location: toronto

Posted: 01-01-06 16:21pm


I to am a cutter. My boyfriend and I both actually. We pomised eachtoher we wouldnt and I have kept my promise to him on the most part. To get thru this you need someone but evn then alot of times.... Ppl arent always there. Or you are to embarassed to talk about it or maybeyou just dont know how. Cutting is soemthing that was hard to stop. I am still depressed and get very frustrated because I feel I have to no way to epress myself. Maybei have no advice to give. I feel your pain and although I have kwit cutting I still think about it alll the time. Some things work for soem and dont for others. I do although see that you are seeking help which is good.So maybe a therapist. I know it is such a easy answer to give but sumtyms someone to talk to is all you need. I would think you may have some sort of depression disorder by the lookes of things but again someone professional maybe able to help you express yourself and not feel so alone. I feel like sucha downer because I know that none of this has worked for me. But my honest advice is to see someone professional maybe more than one person and maybe see group therapy or something to help you experience soemthing just for you and youll see thre are others who feel just like you. I dont know if im missing the point. But I hope things turn out well for you. "roach"

sad_eyes

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 19 Aug 2005
Posts: 96

Posted: 01-01-06 16:42pm


Hi, i also suffer from depression and have felt on occasions like I really can't take anymore. I beleive that I would have suicided if I didn't have any religious belief. I often feel that people don't care for me when i'm really depressed, but when I come out of the depression, I realise that people do care. I also self harm but am trying really hard to stop and to find other ways of dealing with my feelings because I really don't want anymore scars. Are you taking medication or recieving therapy at all? What is your life style like? - do you exercise at all? What is your diet like?It can be hard to motivate yourself to make changes - but if you choose a few small things to focus on like a 5min walk per day etc it might help in the long run, even if you don't see any improvement in the beginning. Take care x.

Insayne

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 01 Jan 2006
Posts: 3
Location: bognor regis

Posted: 01-02-06 15:06pm


I cut to, and every day wake up feeling like I should die. I feel like sometimes it's the easy way out of a problem, but lots of the time the problems have to get to big before they sort themselves out. X

MissyB

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 02 Jan 2006
Posts: 3

Posted: 01-02-06 16:02pm


If you are constantly thinking of suicide and feeling that no one cares, then you are depressed, my darlin'. Seeking help in this forum shows you are looking for help and that is very positive. If you are truly afraid of what you may do to yourself, you may have to check yourself in to a hospital. If you are feeling that this will interrupt your life or schedule or whatever, it really doesn't matter if you are just planning on dying anyway. Death is the ultimate interruption. And there is no coming back to explain things to the ones we leave behind, even if we think they will understand, they won't. But really you are the priority right now. These feelings you have are temporary. Suicide is permanent. You must talk to someone. A doctor, a pastor, a hotline even. Especially if you feel that your friends have deserted you. You have to have a voice to talk to right now. Someone who knows how to help and not just offer a shoulder. This is the first time I have ever been on this website and I was looking for some stupid little medical answer to nothing really imporant. Instead, I found you, someone very important. I had to become a member to respond to you. So - you know I care. And I do understand. Truly! When you get past this, there will come a day that you look back in disbelief that you ever felt this bad. But you have to do what you need to do now while you still have the thought that you need help. You do not want to get to the point of not caring at all. It's monday. Make a phone call. I'll be praying for you. With love, missy

RubyLei

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Posts: 33
Location: UK

Posted: 01-02-06 16:22pm


I've been harming for just over 4 years in phases but not too good at the moment; I too have thought about suicide but what stops me is knowing how selfish it would be...My little brother being brought knowing his older sister killed herself...My advice would be to get something else that helps to focus you and that makes you look to the future rather than back...Put ur energy and violence into something else...You will still go through low points where you harm and where you want to give up but with time it will get better....Let me know how you get on take care luv rue

bucky_05

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 21 Jan 2006
Posts: 6

Posted: 01-21-06 20:33pm


Yes you are depressed. Though you should get help. I cut too. I've laso attempted to commite sucicide twice and like made multiple plans and stuff. I know coming from me it might seem weird, but suicide is not the answer. I had someone I knew commit suicide and that hurt like heck even though I didn't know her very well. I saw people's reaction after I attempted and also when I told someone I was going to do it. See suicide is a permenant solution for a tempisry problem. You can get help. Call someone, go to the hospital. Depression is an illness.

sylviao

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 09 Jun 2007
Posts: 1
Location: Los angeles

Im So Depressed, I Don't Know Y Im Not Dead Yet. Posted: 06-09-07 17:50pm


im 21 years old, i had a full life. full time school, part time job and a nice boyfriend. on december 29th, i got injured, and in result, i went on disabiity. i was fine for 4 mnts, then everything starting goind downhill from there. here i am 6 mnts after the injury, wondering y im just not dying. there is no reason 4 me to live, or 2 wake up in da mrnings. i have no interest in anything anymore. i have lost interst in my life, my love life, and everythng else @ once. i was diagnosed w/depression 2weeks ago, and it didn't come as a shock 2 me @ all. i knew that is waht was gonna happen. now, i hate my life. my mom is in denial, and is doing absolutly nothin 2 make me feel better, instead, shes making me feel worse 4 always being home instead of doing the things that she wants me to do. i absolutly HATE EVERYONE. i hate my parents, my brother, and im noticing that im losing interst in my boyfriend of 2.5 yrs too. (who i promised to be married to) i have no idea when i'm gonna be better, or when i'm be told to go back 2 work, or antying. but 4 now, i just want to die. i have no idea why i keep on waking up. i am not doing anyting w/my life to get improved in anyway. i've been home since tuesday 1.30, and today is saturday. ive been in my room since then, lost about 6 pounds and feeling very sick. and my mom doesnt even seem to care. my boyfriend wanted me to go to the hospital, but i have no reason to, bcause i wanna die anyway. i dont' know wat to do. is this temparory? am i gonna be ok? im just tryin 2 find 1 reason 4 me 2 not die. can someone help? sometimes i wish dat the world had a microphone so i could ask that question to everyone all @ once. can someone give me advice? or give me a source 4 help?

Fairy*Godmother

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Enough Already Posted: 06-09-07 18:17pm


Depression is a disease and you need to get help .....therapy did me no good, but the meds once I finally found one that did worked WORKS. I remember being in Linz and Sylviao's shoes........I hated my life and wondered why I would wake up I the morning.........Not sure what its gonna take for you girls, but it took almost dying twice before it brought me back to reality. I focus on today and tomorrow and what can I do to try to make someone else happy. I figured out being in my own little depressed world, holed up in my room day after day hating my life was a SELFISH, senseless and total waste of a good life. I was not one of the unlucky individuals going through chemo day after day struggling to hang on in pain.....I was not handicapped and living in poverty. You have to snap out of it....go to an animal shelter and volunteer your time to spend with them..........go to an adult living facility and volunteer to spend some time with a lonesome elderly person or read to them, or just smile and give htem hope in life. You have not focus on you, but turn others. There are so many people out there who are in far worse condition that could use you as a friend. This (and meds) have helped me for the past 36 years. Just like finding htis website, I come here everyday hoping I can find someone that may need to know....hey I've been there and I totally understand! Sure, I still get into slumps, and when i feel that feeling come on...instead of going off alone somewhere and crying and hting hte life I have....I thank God for letting me see the sun, hear the birds, smell the honey suckle......let me find someone I can put a smile on their face. No one would ever guess from knowing me........I am always smiling on the outside, but somtimes I am crying and hruting on the inside.....Depression will eat you alive if you let it..........and I'm not about too................Always here if you need me!