Hi, the drs think I may have bipolar
disorder and I have been taking medication
for a few weeks now. This has helped a
great deal, for the first time in along
time im in a normal sleeping routine and
eating routine. However sometimes I still
get very depressed (medication im taking
is risperdal 2mg a day)
however last night things just got too
much for me and on top of me and I got
very frustrated with myself, I ended up
throwing everyhting off my desk and across
the room (including my lap top which now
has a broken cd re write drive) I then
broke down in tears and could not stop
crying. I jus wondered if this is a
personality thing or normal (does everyone
get like this at times ) or it is part of
the illness
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DSmith529
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Oct 2005 Posts: 59
Hi Firefly Posted: 01-02-06 14:36pm
Everyone has sh*tty days that just get to
be too much.
I cried once earlier this year and hadn't
cried for at least 10 years prior to
that--so I dunno about that one.
I do go and work out *rather* vigorously
when I recognize my stress levels rising.
I haven't broken anything because I just
think that is too darned wasteful and I
don't want to spend money twice.
Everyone despairs periodically. Would
lamictal be indicated for your form of
bipolar? It tempers my husband
considerably and gets his bipolar raging
under wraps. Then he gets all borderline
on us and throws all good memories out the
window when he sets something on fire, or
calls our 12 year old daughter something
obscene. Let's hear it for therapy.
She now blows him off--doesn't believe him
when he says she is (loved, pretty,
talented, evil incarnate, a prostitute,
etc.) anything at all.
Are you okay today? Have you figured out
what was tripping your triggers and how to
work around it? Journaling is good
stuff!
Happy new year!
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firefly09
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 45 Location: UK
Posted: 01-02-06 15:11pm
No I feel no better today, im not using my
friends laptop cause mine has broke and im
going to have to get it repaired
i cut my arms and got a huge bruise on my
head from banging it on the wall. I feel
despair the depression wont leave me I
just want it to go away
|
jessieappleby
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 7 Location: Pennsylvania
Reply to Firefly09 Posted: 01-07-06 23:31pm
Firefly09, first and foremost find help
immediately. I used to use
self-mutilation as a way of dealing with
issues and I have not done so for 3 years.
I know it's a scary process but most fear
the unknown so it's normal. Seeking help
is not a bad thing or a personality flaw.
As for your rage, it's part of the
illness, usually the manic phases. I too
deal with this but I have my bipolar under
wraps for the most part and know when i'm
going into a rage. You know how many
holes i've punched in walls and things
i've broken...Too many to count. I've
sought psychiatric help in both forms of
hospitalization and talk therapy. They
have helped me extremely. Also, you said
you were depressed moreso now than
previously. Perhaps this is because your
medication needs upped or changed
completely. For your sake and the sake of
your loved ones, seek help or at least be
honest with a doctor. Know you are not
alone nor is it a flaw in who you are.
It's mental illness and it's nothing you
can control or to be shameful of. The use
of medications, if the right ones are used
will help ease the symptoms as well as
seeking a therapist to talk to. Take care
and the best to you.
