I'm almost 16 years old and I feel like
everything is crashing down on me.
From a young age I have been very
depressed and I can't remember a long
period of time where i've been truly
happy. There would be moments in time
when things seem to be going up, but they
always come crashing down.
Lately i've had fall out's with people
(one girl has started spending rumours
about me over the internet and at school),
lost alot of friends, fights with my
family, and just the other day I got
dumped by a guy I really liked. Now I
feel like I have no one.
I feel like I can't tell people that i'm
depressed because they always seem to lose
interest. I told my now ex boyfriend two
weeks ago about being depressed, now I
found out he didn't want anything to with
me after that.
In the summer I tried to kill myself after
major arguments with my family. I took an
overdose but I lied and said it was a
mistake, because I was scared of what they
might think. Now the past two months i've
been getting the urge to kill myself
again.
It just feels like everything will keep
going wrong, that there is no hope for me
anymore. I have no one to talk to but I
want help.
What can I do?
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september65
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 19
a Helping Hand Posted: 01-09-06 10:17am
The world is cruel, and that's a fact. I
pretty much had the same problem like you
too. My friends didn't even want to hear
about my depression, family members were
all too busy to notice, and my best
friends deserted me the time I needed them
most.. It was as though the world was out
to get me..
Heymiss, although your friends and family
do not show interest in helping you with
your depression, don't get the idea that
the world has turned their backs on you,
because it hasn't. You'd be surprised by
how many people who actually cares for you
as they read your post. Which i'm
wondering now too, it's weird isn't it..?
You would think that your family and
friends would be willing to help you out,
instead of anonymous people on the
internet whom you've never met before.
I'm sad to hear that you've attempted
suicide before and you want to do it
again. Please.. You're only 16! There's
so much you haven't seen in the world!
There's so much more to live for! Please
don't kill youself..!
Hang in there. Depression is just a
phase. It'll pass. Email me if you need
someone to talk to. I'll be there for
you.
Septem
ber65@gmail.Com
Don't stress up, there's no such thing as
"no hope". It's not like there were a
maximum amount of hope for the whole
population and that the stock is now
empty. No.
I quite understand what you mean with the
fact that in happy situations it can end
up in a crappy way. Every single person
has at least once been through this. It
just depends on what you want to remember
from those happy moments: the sunny day or
the sad evening ?
It's true, neglecting people is not
something to cheer about. But on the
other hand you should put yourself in
others' mind: talking about depression is
not joyful. It's rare that others want
to conversate about depression. Of
course it's bad to keep that annoying
thought to yourself, but don't make it
take all your mind either. There are
many other things to talk about that won't
disturb both parts. Well, I hope so ;-)
my advice: do not kill yourself. If you
don't feel like seeking for joy, hang on
at least because there are many steps
(sometimes with radical changes) you
shouldn't miss. Examples: moving, going
to college, that wonderful feeling of
relief after a depressing period (!) ...
Don't throw everything away, because
there are many things left you can do,
maybe just not now ;-)
i'm not sure if I am helping at all. I
just hope you don't want to point a gun at
me if my thoughts are not what you
expected.. (that's my point: you don't
have to buy everything i'm saying, it
depends on what you want to remember from
my post and what not ;-) )
try to have a good day.
Sk.
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erogers33
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jan 2006 Posts: 141 Location: Littleton, CO
Posted: 01-10-06 13:04pm
Heymiss, I have been in your shoes, and
there is hope. I struggled with
depression through my teens, and although
I didn't take any medication for it, I
wish I would have. I saw a phsychologist,
but I didn't feel comfortable enough to
open up completely with him.
When I was 20 (two years ago), my
depression was the deepest it had ever
been. I was crying constantly, for no
apparent reason. There was nothing
particular in my life I was depressed
about; I was depressed about life in
general. My exact thoughts were "what is
the point of living, really????" and "if I
cross the street and a bus hits and kills
me, I don't give a crap. Put me out of my
misery." I also had suicidal thoughts, but
the only thing that stopped me from
killing myself was thinking about my niece
and nephew, and knowing that some day I
would like to be a wife and mother.
Finally, one day I broke down and called
my primary physician. I made an
appointment and was put on
anti-depressants. I was prescribed
lexapro, but after a few weeks I went back
to the doctor because I felt like they
were making me sleep all day. So they
gave me effexor, and oh my god was it a
lifesaver! Within 2 weeks, I felt happy -
which is something I hadn't felt in a
loooong time. I was on effexor for about
a year and a half. I've been off of it
for a few months now, and I feel great. I
hope there's no turning back.
I'm not saying anti-depressants will
necessarily work for you, but I thought
i'd share my story with you to give you
some ideas. Don't let your depression get
to the point where it literally takes your
life from you; it's not worth it. Once
you get out of that deep, dark hole you're
in, you'll see the world in a brand new
light. I promise. :) so keep your head
up and get your depression under control;
call your doctor!
