My Psychotic Sister. Part Ll Posted: 01-09-06 14:21pm
I wrote a post on here a while back about
how I don't get along with my sister, for
many many reasons. Well I was health
forum about how I didn't want her to come
to my baby shower because I don't feel
she's welcome anywhere around me. She
ended up not coming, thank god....
Now, I think i'm going crazy again....
My sister is almost 20. She lives with
her boyfriend's parents, I have been
staying at my mom's home, even though I
have a place of my own. My parents just
went through a divorce and there has been
a lot of issues i've helped my mom with.
Every time my sister & her boyfriend
fight, she comes over to my mom's house
with her daughter, my sister cant be with
her daughter for more than a week without
my mom watching her, so my sister stayed
at my mom's for almost 2 days, (her bf and
her wasn't even fighting anymore) and yet
she still stayed.
She knows I hate her, she knows I wouldn't
care if she overdosed on meth. Yep,
she's a drug head aswell..
We ended up getting into a fight, yelling
back and fourth because I asked her when
she was going home. She started cussing
me out, and told me I should give my baby
up for adoption. I laughed and said why?
Unlike you, I wont be going to jail for
5 or more years. I have a job and can
support myself, I don't need a man to lean
on. At least i'll be there to watch my
child grow up, who will be stuck with your
baby? Mom will. My sister and her bf
rob peoples houses, etc, which she still
does even though she knows she has
warrants.
I got so fed up because she wouldnt leave,
& because she kept smoking ciggs in
the house & her meth. I called the
cops and gave them our address.
Lol, wish I could tell you guys how fast
she ran.
I sound like such a health forum....Even
though she didn't go to jail she still
left back to her guy's house with her
daughter. I'm due next month, I do not
need this extra stress. I cant handle
her 2 year old daughter living with us
basically, when I have a newborn not to
mention how my sister is like another kid.
My mom is begging me to move back home,
because i'm the one who can be straight
forward with my sister. I don't want
this crap around my son, and i'm so
freakin scared it will be. Even though
my mom thinks it's wrong that I wont let
her hold him. I told her she should be
glad my sister even gets to see a photo.
I don't need people like that in my life,
and neither does my child. She is the
type of person who just gets you in
trouble. So again, tell me i'm doing the
right thing so I don't feel like a
complete edit
wouldn't you all do the same thing, or
would you do something different?
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~*~Jillian~*~
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Feb 2005 Posts: 1759 Location: Tennessee, USA
Posted: 01-09-06 15:01pm
I am totally with you on that ...I wouldnt
let someone that is on drugs be any where
around my son...They could have picked up
hiv ...And I dont want to risk my son
getting it ....So I think your decision is
a very good one...I wouldnt worry about
what other people think anyways...Because
its your son and if you think its wrong
...Then so be it!.. :wink:
I'm glad you agree with me, but you dont
have to do drugs by a needle & its not
like you can spread it by just being
around them.
Thats not the only reason why I dont want
her around him either.
She steals (from me)
shes crazy
she lies, couldnt be honest if her life
depended on it.
Shes a junkie
by seeing how her daughter is raised, and
the things she does & sees, theres no
way in hell i'd let her be around my son.
I'd like to keep him innocent know what I
mean?
My mom is a social worker, which is why I
dont understand why she don't call dfs on
her, but I can understand it being her own
child & all, plus we'd end up with her
daughter which I can't deal with right
now. I can't deal with the jealousy that
will come between them, she spits, says
"medical question you" bites etc.
Sometimes she is really sweet, but when
she's not i'd have to leave which is most
of the time.
Get what i'm saying?
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~*~Jillian~*~
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Feb 2005 Posts: 1759 Location: Tennessee, USA
Posted: 01-09-06 16:58pm
..I feel so sorry for her daughter she
deserves better than that...I dont think
you or your mom(not saying you do) need to
be mean to her daughter....Because she
cant help it that her mom raised her that
way...Maybe it would be a good thing if
she got taken away from her...But yeah I
do agree I wouldnt let your sister around
you child ...She just doesnt seem mature
and smart enough to be around small
children...
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chrissy721
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jul 2005 Posts: 817 Location: Somewhere out there
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-09-06 17:13pm
Hun, you are the mom and it sounds like
you know what your doing to me. Your
sister sounds a little more than dangerous
and if I even thought for a second that
she might hurt your baby, physically or
emotionally, I wouldn't let my baby around
her either. Maybe in the future if she
changed the way she lives and it was
noticeable then maybe, but not until you
can trust her. Your instincts as a
mother that tell you that this is
dangerous should be enough. There's
probably a lot you know about your sister
that your mother doesn't too. It's hard
tellin how someone who is on drugs will
react at any given moment. Trust me I
know what it's like to deal with ppl on
drugs, that steal, and all that other
stuff. I think you are right, and until
you see your son being safe around her,
keep him away. You wouldn't want him
seeing that, later in life and think those
things are okay for him to do too. You
are on the right track.
Were not mean to her daughter at all, we
actually have her a lot and she cries when
my mom has to take her back home. I'm
saying myself I cant handle a 2 year old
& a newborn, i'm not sure my moms
point of view on this.
Chrissy - thank you for your advice, but
to be honest I think my sister is never
going to change. She is the first in our
family to even do something this stupid
(writing bad checks and stealing checks
from other people & using them) no one
in our family has ever been to jail, so
this is a big change for all of us.
My sister was sent away when she was
around 15 or 16 for pills & volumes,
speed etc. They diagnosed her with having
bi polar, which I think is most of the
issue of the way she is acting. She
doesnt take medication for it, and she
also had an abortion at 16, which she got
depressed over for a very long time. (the
guy hit her)
my sister also tries to talk black (she
has dated tons of black guys & my
niece is mixed) i'm not racist but talking
like something you're not is pretty sad,
and gets so annoying. She talks like that
the most when she is mad or yelling. It
seriously just makes you want to laugh
because it's funny but it's something that
annoys me as well! Her boyfriend does the
same things she does, which doesnt make it
better.. She can't say one sentence
without cussing at least 4 times. We
agreed no smoking in the house, everytime
my sister comes over its okay for her to
do it she thinks. She smokes every
minute, literally. My mom has enough
respect to go in the bathroom when it's
too cold to go outside. (smoking makes me
sick)
i don't think my sister is aware that I
don't want her to see my baby, and I don't
think she'll ever understand why if she
did know, just because she has that many
issues that aren't fixed.
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~*~Jillian~*~
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Feb 2005 Posts: 1759 Location: Tennessee, USA
Posted: 01-09-06 20:40pm
..Yeah I understand...A newborn and a 2
year old would be hard...I hope that you
didnt think I said you guys were mean to
her ...Because I seriously didnt mean it
in that sorta way...I pray for the little
girl and your sister...Along with you and
your mom...I know that it also has to put
stress on your mom ...Because the way your
sister is...I think you guys will make it
through ...Maybe you sister wont
change...But inside you should love
her...Maybe her problem is only fixable
through medication...Which she doesnt
have....Maybe a miracle will happen and
she will change for her and her daughters
sake...As for you and your son ...(and
mom) I wish you all the best...
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~rubmybuddahbelly~
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jan 2006 Posts: 752 Location: :( N.O. Evacuee now in TEXAS
Posted: 01-09-06 20:46pm
Hey I can understand most of what you
say.... But honestly instead of just
erasing your sister out of your life try
to sit with her and help her threw
this.... And if it takes turning her in
or having her put in a recovery program so
be it. Family is everything and it's just
me but my mom always told me never turn
your back on your family when they are in
need because u never know when you will
need something from them. Karma is a
health forum and your sister will figure
that out... You should do what u can to
help.
My sister isn't even allowed in my home.
She is on her own with this one....
I cannot speak, let alone have a
conversation with someone whom is almost
20, is bi polar & is a meth addict. I
don't think i've ever seen her sober..
If my son is around her, he'll end up like
my niece, which i'd rather die than put
him through that.
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~rubmybuddahbelly~
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jan 2006 Posts: 752 Location: :( N.O. Evacuee now in TEXAS
Posted: 01-09-06 21:47pm
Hey hey hey... Nothing wrong with being
bi-polar lol... Im bi-polar
but thats beyond it... Sweety your son
has you I can understand u dont want your
son to see her like that and if she is
never solber then thats understandable....
But as soon as she gets up in the morning
she shouldn't be f***ed up so maybe just
maybe try and help... U really dont have
to do anything but look at it for your
niece she really dosen't deserve that and
your sister sounds like she needs alot of
help. All u would have to do is call and
get her admitted... But I dont want to
tell you what to do or even look down on
you for your decisions. You seem to be a
very strong woman and you will do whats
best for you in the end...
Good luck hunny with you.. Your son your
niece and your sister :)
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chrissy721
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jul 2005 Posts: 817 Location: Somewhere out there
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-09-06 21:50pm
The bi-polar thing could get better some
day...But not with drugs and stealing and
all that going on. The girl needs to
realize she needs help and admit that she
needs it. My cousin (practically bro,
cuz he lived with us for a long time) is
like that. He's been like that all his
life and probably will never change. I
would never ever trust him with my kid by
his self. Maybe with me right there, but
never alone, only because I know what he's
capable of doing. You just need to do
what you know is best for you and your
kid. Your sis may not like it but, maybe
that will show her that she's got a
problem?
Being bi polar isn't bad, unless you dont
take your medication for it..
My sister don't sleep for days at a time,
and i'm not around her unless she has a
fight with her boyfriend or were going to
pick up her daughter, I dont know what
shes done that night or that day, so it's
really hard to actually pick a time to
talk to her.
My mom cries, asking what she did wrong to
raise her, and I tell her it's not her
fault, it's just because of the people she
has hung out with all her life. My sister
used to sneak out, etc. My mom has sent
her away to a group home before, for her
drugs like ive said in a previous post
& she was on medication etc, she was
in there for a year and was doing great, I
even came to see her! But right when she
got back out, she started doing the same
things all over again, due to the people
she hangs around.
My sister tells her friends i'm a health
forum & that I just hate her because
i'm jealous. The last girl she told this
too told me about it, and I began to tell
her the story of why I don't like her
& why I don't get along with her and
said who the hell would be jealous of
that??
What burns me up the most is that she told
me to get an abortion, i'm not the one
whos going to jail for years to come, I
dont bring drugs out in front of my baby,
I will be there to watch my child grow up.
When I told her that she started crying
like a little baby. It's like uh...You
brought it upon yourself, your the one
that said it.
Michelle, I swear to god shes never coming
around my child. I'll have to be dead
first.
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chrissy721
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jul 2005 Posts: 817 Location: Somewhere out there
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-10-06 17:18pm
You go girl. I know bi-polar isn't a
piece of cake. I've been their, done
that. Half my family is bi-polar on my
mom's side. Her dad, brother, etc. You
know what you need to do to keep that baby
safe, especially since we realllly don't
know what you all have been through with
her. It will be best to keep your
distance, in my opinion. There is
nothing you or your mom can do at this
point, and it's not your moms fault or
yours at that. If she refuses to take
the medication and is doing all that other
stuff, then there isn't much you can do
for her, she's the only one that can make
that decision. My grandpa didn't take
his meds and we tried to make him, guess
where he's at, prison for doing something
real stupid. I wouldn't let him set foot
on my property without the entire
sherriff's office there. He get's out of
prison in march and i'm terrified at
what's going to happen when he gets out.
I'm married now so I hope he can't find me
under my new name. :/
My sister called my mom at work crying
like a b*tch and now she is trying to talk
my mom into letting her move in.
Told my mom if she did then i'm outta
here.
There's no way in hell i'm going to be
able to put up with her, which is like
another child. Her 2 year old daughter
and a newborn. My mom said shes been
arguing on the phone with her for 10
minutes saying it wont work out, and then
my sister hung up on her.
It's easier said than done, but your mom
needs to enforce tough love. I know it's
hard because it's not just your sister,
it's her innocent daughter as well.
Hun, relax! You don't want to cause
strain to you or your baby because of the
stress she has put on you.
Definitely follow through with your plans
if your mother allows her to come back.
As I have been in your situation, I would
tell my mom that my life includes certain
ppl, and you want nothing to do with your
sister until she changes her lifestyle.
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kb77
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Dec 2005 Posts: 100
You're Doing the Right Thing! Posted: 01-11-06 01:09am
I feel for you! I know this is a crazy
situation. You seem like a very smart
woman. I think it is not only your right,
but your responsibility as a mother to
protect your child from whatever you feel
is harmful - so I congratulate you on
making the decision to keep him away from
her. I also know it has to be hard to
have your mom in the middle of this. I
agree that if she moves back then you
should move out. Girl - avoid the chaos
to keep your sanity. You shouldn't have
to think about things like people stealing
or doing drugs in the comfort of your
home. Where you will be raising a child.
I also think that someone really needs to
help her with her child. She probably has
it the worst - and doesn't even realize
it. She needs stability, sanity, love,
comfort, and a safe place to be. It may
be best to take her from her mother
somehow. Maybe you and your mom need to
get away. I am here if you ever just want
to scream! :) I wish you luck with your
baby, and sounds to me like you definitely
have it all figured out - with a good head
on your shoulders. You are doing the
right thing.
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AlliE_18
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Dec 2005 Posts: 2129 Location: uk
Posted: 01-11-06 14:18pm
Wow thats a bad situation. If I were you
i'd call the police tell them where she is
so they can arrest her as you said they
have warrants out for her. You will feel
awful in one way doing that because she's
your sister after all, but still I think
it would be the right thing to do. Tough
love and all that even though you say you
hate her right now. So she gets arrested,
has to face up to the criminal activity
she's been doing, and has to face the
consequences of her own actions. Which I
guess will be jail for a while or rehab?
Or rehab while in jail....I don't really
know exactly. So anyway you'll be rid of
her while you have your son. Hopefully
the rehab or jail or both will sort her
out. It's worth a try and she deserves it
for what she has done. If it was my
mother, then she would want to look after
her granddaughter while your sister is
"away". Is it possible for your mum to do
that? It would be hard for her to bring
her up, but it's probably best for the
child. She could also apply to adopt her?
So when your sister gets back from jail,
if she's not changed much which you dont
think will happen because you said she'll
never change, then if your mum has custody
of the child, she cant just take her back
and go back to raising her in a bad way.
Or your mum could have social services
find a couple to adopt her. But at least
she wont be with her mother, who sounds
like shes doing a lot more harm than good
with her.... If you find it too difficult
living with your mum and niece, you said
you have your own place so you could move
in there, you will eventually anyway.
After a little time, your mum will be used
to it being just her and her grand
daughter. Plus you can visit all the
time. That's what I think I would do.
Thank you guys for all the advice, I
greatly appreciate it!!
Allie, my mom doesnt want to be the mother
of a 2 year old. She has raised 3 kids
already, and my sister still acts like a
little kid. My mom would end up stuck
with her & doesnt have the heart to
put her up for adoption, I would rather
raise my niece, than be around my sister
though.
My sister told me yesterday I should get
an abortion, and if I don't do that I need
to give my baby up for adoption. I told
her I wasnt the one going to jail for
years, i'll be there to watch my baby grow
up, i'm not the one who has all the drugs
around my child, so why should i? I have
no good reason to do anything of the
things she's mentioned. When she said
things about the abortion, I said "why
would I do that? To run like a little
health forum like you did when you were
15, your the one whom opened your legs,
pay the price you pathetic little
promiscuous person" so yeah it got pretty
violent! Lol.
Anyways, my sister is obviously jealous, I
noticed this from the way she was acting
yesterday. Anything my sister talked
about my name got brought up in it, I
finally laughed and said, you're so doing
it jealous it's sad. And she said "no
your jealous over me, its sad I cant even
live with my own mother because of you"
and I said, jealous over a felon? Oh yes,
thats so much to be jealous over, I want
to get hooked on drugs and have warrants
out for my arrest just like you!! She
doesn't understand that it's not just me,
my mom doesnt want her staying either, but
doesnt have the heart to say no because
that's her daughter. She stayed with my
brother tonight (which my mom had to give
him money for) but see what I mean, its
not just me, the girl is freakin'
nuts!!!
My mom told me she didn't want me to
leave, she wants me to stay with her &
promises it won't be for very long. I
told her no, so I left and am staying at
my old apartment with my boyfriend. I
told her to call me when my sister left.
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AlliE_18
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Dec 2005 Posts: 2129 Location: uk
Posted: 01-11-06 17:38pm
Good for you for getting out of there!
Your mum should throw her out or call the
cops on her, stay away from it...
