Getting Pregnant Forum - Any Opinions - Please All Are Welcome!


Any Opinions - Please All Are Welcome!

Medical Questions-> Health Forums -> Getting Pregnant -> Any Opinions - Please All Are Welcome!

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kb77

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 17 Dec 2005
Posts: 100

Any Opinions - Please All Are Welcome! Posted: 01-11-06 01:36am


I am 20 - and I have another post on here about me trying to conceive, and it's not working. (thanks for the posts) I just want to know does anyone think i'm too young to want a baby. I mean, I live alone. I am in school. I pay my own rent and bills - well my b/f helps cuz he lives here to, but I definitely could do it alone. I have my own car, job, and money. I also think I am mature for my age, and very responsible. But I have a lot of friends that besides telling me to wait and it will happen, they tell me i'm too young. What do you all think?

angelbeans

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 08 Jul 2004
Posts: 38

Posted: 01-11-06 09:13am


In all honesty? I think you should wait until you are done school. When I hit that mark, around 20 (im now 24..) I really wanted a baby, but remember when you do decide to go back to work, your opportunities are greater when you have finished college/university as opposed to partially complete. Also you shouldnt be thinking that you could do it alone, because it makes it sound as though you are expecting your boyfriend to leave. Your child should be conceived out of love by two parents who both really want it. How does he feel about the situation? Im really not coming down on you here, please dont think that, im just sharing my opinions, because im telling you when I was 20 I had the same thoughts running trhough my head...

kb77

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 17 Dec 2005
Posts: 100

Hi! Posted: 01-11-06 13:42pm


I meant that I could pay the rent and bills alone currently, just meaning that I have a great job! No I don't want to do it alone, nor do I think I will have to. We both want the baby now. A while ago, when I was 18 - just he wanted the baby, but now I am ready as well. Thanks for your opinion though! Maybe this is just "baby fever"

erogers33

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 09 Jan 2006
Posts: 141
Location: Littleton, CO

Posted: 01-11-06 13:51pm


I am 22, and like you, I have a craving to become a mother. Even though I would be happy and excited to be pregnant right now, we're going to wait a little while longer. 22 is still young, in my opinion. Wait until you're married and enjoy the married life for a little while before you have a child. My fiance and I are getting married this summer, and I know I want to enjoy my husband for at least a few months before we start trying to conceive. We both have pretty good full-time jobs, but I know we need to enjoy our youth for a little while longer. Maybe it is "baby fever", but enjoy your early twenties while you have the chance. A baby will change everything (or so i'm told... I wouldn't know from personal experience)! But if you really feel like you're ready to bring a child into this world and make him/her your top priority for the rest of your life, then more power to you. Just think about it good and hard. Maybe sit down with your boyfriend and make a list of all the positives and negatives that will come with raising a child. If the good outweighs the bad and you don't have any doubts, then maybe you're ready. It really varies from person to person, but do what's best for you and the maybe-baby.

kb77

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 17 Dec 2005
Posts: 100

Posted: 01-11-06 14:11pm


Thanks!

angelbeans

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 08 Jul 2004
Posts: 38

Posted: 01-12-06 18:26pm


Well now that I understand your situation a little better, I really dont think the age is the factor... I think it more has to do with your position in your relationship, and that its a common goal. I just thought I read that you were still in school. Because remember finishing school is a lot harder when you have a baby than it is when you dont...

numba1eyceygurl

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 27 Aug 2005
Posts: 42
Location: New Orleans, La

Nope Posted: 01-12-06 22:24pm


I don't think ur too young to have a baby. Nobody knows u better than u do. If u feel like u want to have a baby then have u a baby. You feel like ur financially stable to have one and emotionally stable then go for it. I will say that being that ur in school, u should make sure that u have someone reliable to watch over it if u are planning on having one. There are so many girls I know in college and have kids. They are doing fine, some of them are doing better than I am so don't let that discourage u. But it's ur body and ur decision.

kb77

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 17 Dec 2005
Posts: 100

Posted: 01-12-06 23:10pm


Thanks sweetie! You all are very prompt and supportive!

numba1eyceygurl

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 27 Aug 2005
Posts: 42
Location: New Orleans, La

Sure Posted: 01-13-06 12:02pm


Anytime u need help, i'm here

hopefulin2006

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 27 Dec 2005
Posts: 58

Age Posted: 01-13-06 13:34pm


I know this isn't what you want to hear, but yes I think you are young. Too young? Only you can decide that. Doing it on your own would be the hardest thing you would ever do. I hope you won't have to. Your children become your primary focus and they are there almost every waking moment. If you really want a baby I just want you to know that it will be rare that you will ever be alone again. No more just running to the store without carting half the house. No sitting down to watch a tv show or movie without pausing it at least five times. You will rarely eat another hot meal unless it is in a resturant as by the time you are done making it and getting everything ready for your family it is luke warm at best. It is hard work! Although I love ever moment of it with my six year old stepdaughter, it wears you out. She was only one when I met my husband so I have helped raise her for many years. Be prepared for your relationship with your bf to suffer. Even though you may try to keep your relationship romatic and sexy with your man, exhaustion will win out more often than not at first. Remember that a child is not a job you can quit, a man you can leave or a task you can put off or leave until later. You don't have sacrifice who you are, just make some major adjustments as to how and when you do things. Only you will know when you are ready for all of this. I am 27 and we just started ttc last month. Good luck in whatever you decide. Things have a way of working out for the best if you try you best.

tbaa_29

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 19 Nov 2005
Posts: 32
Location: England

Posted: 01-18-06 18:35pm


Hi, from my personal experience I would suggest that you wait a little longer before having a baby. I had my son when I was 27 and waiting was the best thing I could do. I was done with going out partying, id done the big girlie holiday. Id done for dating scene and I was ready to settle down. I met my husband when I was 26 we married 9mths later and my son was born two weeks for our 1st anniversary. Were now hoping to get pregnant again soon. But many of my friends had kids really young and they are say they wish they had waited cuz they missed out on so many things that can only be done when young, free and child less. At the end of the day it does not matter about your age just make sure that you have done everything that you want to do. Because once you have a baby then its at least another 18yrs till you get your life back (depending on how many kids you want) good luck, hope you are able to make the right decision for you!!!!!

acoles70

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 09 Nov 2005
Posts: 191
Location: KY

Posted: 01-18-06 22:17pm


I think age is a bunch of bull. I think people have the wrong idea about young mothers. I had my son right after I turned 19, my sister had her son (same time) when she was 27. She was in no way better equipped to be a mother. I actually know I am a better mother that alot of older women I know, even my own sister. I take care of my own child everyday. He is almost three and I can count on one hand how many times he has been out of my sight (and only with family). I am very protective over my son. I never had to the urge to party. I did that in high school and grew up. I think if you are mature enough go for it. I would much rather be a young mom than an old mom, but that is me. I am already extremely patient. Having a baby is a personal decision. There isn't an age requirement. Don't let other people's opinions decide your future. By the way...We just found out I am preg with #2 (after 2 years of trying with fertility drugs, so doc didn't think I was too young). I with be a mom of two at 22. I am married and a stay at home mom, but if you have a support system you can do anything. Ashlee

michelle1981

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Joined: 20 Jul 2005
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Location: Toronto, Canada

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Posted: 01-18-06 22:26pm


I'm definitely not one to even suggest that you are too young, since I conceived my first son at 17, however if what we say sways your decision then you're probably not ready. Good luck girl!

kb77

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 17 Dec 2005
Posts: 100

Posted: 01-18-06 22:43pm


Not swaying my decision. I just wanted to know what people think. I respect what everyone has to say. I know I am ready to be a mom - and I have been trying for about a year. Just wanted opinions. So thanks everyone!