Let me start off by saying please don't
judge me. It was the right thing but
wrong way to handle it. My wife (x wife)
moved away from my family about 2 years
ago. She had many problems mently. I
tryed everything I could to make her get
help. She has no family. After we moved
into a new house I built for her thats
when things started going bad again. She
tryed to kil her self. That was the 3rd
time in 14 years. I couldn't deal with it
and asked her to get help and let me think
what I need to do. Well she was up my
butt 10 times worse. Thats when it
started. I wasn't look it just happened.
I had this girl well lady working for me
for about 2 months now. She is also
married with 2 kids like I was. Well to
make a long storie short. After 14 months
me and the wife are seperated and not
talking. She still don't know about the
affair has a little idea. Thats not were
my problem is. My problem is with the
person im was having an affair with we
will call her lady x. Her marrage was
also rocky at the time we started and
still is. She told me a few months ago
she was going to ask for a evorice. Well
it didn't happen. I know her huban and I
don't like him. I deal with him because
of her. He has an idea what is going on.
Well back to the storie. She told him 4
weeks ago she wants a devorice because
she's not in love with him. They don't
fight. They just seem to be friends.
Well she still didn't make any moves yet.
No lawyers no nothing. Just talking to
him. Well when I say you only find true
love once in a life time I mean it. Thats
me im so in love with her it hurts every
day she has to go home. I can't can or
talk to her. I have to wait for her to
call me. She dos. But it's short when
she calls. Well I don't want to wait I
can't wait for her. I tryed telling her
many times. I can't. She knows me better
than I know myself. Better than my wife
for 14 years. I can't hurt her because I
couldn't live with that. I don't want to
end it. I live for her. Everything I do
I do for her. I tryed to do for my self
but it's not fun. I need help what do I
do??????????????????
|
ironmantaylors
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Nov 2005 Posts: 38 Location: montana
Posted: 01-11-06 21:21pm
My advice is let her know how you
feel................That you would commit
to her...............And put ball in her
court. It will be ugly with her husband.
If she loves you, she will need to tell
him everything. It sounds tough but
honesty is the best. You said yourself
he already suspects, so let him know, he
does deserve that...........Also tell you
wife, guilt is a cause of
depression.......You will feel better.
If she does not do this, she is not
committing to you and you will continue to
be in limbo till it ends badly.
Just my thoughts.....Good luck.
|
1helpme1
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jan 2006 Posts: 10 Location: PA
Posted: 01-11-06 21:25pm
I have put the ball in her court. She is
affrad of hurting her kids. She says she
needs to do it her way she don't want to
loose everything she has and she feels she
will if she tells him. How long should I
wait. I feel 1 day I can't do it any more
then the next I feel I can wait
|
ironmantaylors
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Nov 2005 Posts: 38 Location: montana
Posted: 01-11-06 21:31pm
It is a scary time for her, but being in a
deceitful marriage is no good for kids
either.................Follow my
advice........If she does not tell her
hubby.........Things will be bad for her
later...........She is only prolonging the
pain and not getting on with the rest of
her life and indirectly holding yours
up................So if she does
not..........You need to move on.........
|
1helpme1
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jan 2006 Posts: 10 Location: PA
Posted: 01-11-06 21:39pm
I told her that. As far as me moving on
how can I when you love some one as much
as I do her. Moving on means breaking up
a 1.5 mill business.
|
ironmantaylors
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Nov 2005 Posts: 38 Location: montana
Posted: 01-11-06 21:49pm
Your life...............Set your own
priorities...............Money vs.
Happiness............Love is a two way
street..........She must be committed or
you are setting yourself up for a
fall..............Sounds like emotionally
as well as
financially..................The problem
began when you fell for an unavailable
woman.............Chalk it up as one of
life's experiences and enjoy the
ride.............Lots of ups and
downs..........Try not to puke........
We all have a ride in life.............But
I still stick to my advice............Tell
the hubby..........See what
happens..........That is only way to have
her and business it sounds
like................
Sorry
|
1helpme1
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jan 2006 Posts: 10 Location: PA
Posted: 01-12-06 17:14pm
Thank you for your advice. Still can't
make up my mind. I been saying the
samething in my head now for the last few
weeks
|
angelbaby76
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2006 Posts: 3 Location: Indiana
Posted: 01-13-06 03:31am
She says she doesnt want to hurt the kids
but I can tell you from experience that by
continuing the realtionships they way they
are she is hurting them more then she
would by leaving her hubby.
|
1helpme1
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jan 2006 Posts: 10 Location: PA
Posted: 01-13-06 08:23am
See thats the thing. She says they don't
fight. She just don't love him any more.
I see him also 3-4 times a week. I have
to beleave it. I don't see anything even
close to any fighting. Im so
confused!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
1helpme1
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jan 2006 Posts: 10 Location: PA
Posted: 01-13-06 16:14pm
See why im confused!!!!!! Today she made
an appointment for monday with a laweyer.
She has been a little distant with me for
the last few days. What should I think.
I asked her today if she wanted to stop.
It did cross her mind. Confused I am
