I Dont Know What to Do..........

You should talk to your doctor about maybe getting a different pill for your depression. You are not worthless! The future is scary, but don't let it get you down. You can do whatever you put your mind to. You may be having panic attacks, but it is probably just because you are crying so hard. But don't forget to mention that to your doctor when you go. I hope you get better!

My daughter is 15 so about your age & has recently had the medical year from hell with a misdiagnosis of anorexia nervosa (teenage girl eating issue &/or weight loss = anorexia nervosa/bulimia) whereas in fact when we found a dr/psychiatrist who considers family medical history her beliefs, behaviours & does blood tests, eeg & so on & we find that she's always felt that she had to please everyone & always felt guilty for everything (even if it had nothing to do with her). 6 weeks ago she was on the verge of a breakdown & maybe suicide/homicide of a dr or nurse & weighed 34kgs (about 70lbs) now she's 38kgs, out of hospital & starting to be a better healthier (mentally) version of her old self.

What changed (well despite the attack i'll probably get from another user) this dr put her on 50mgs at night of 5htp (a supplement of tryptophan which works to balance the serotonin levels in the brain & so reduce stress) & she has to take a 30 minute walk between 6 & 7 am because at that time there's siomething in the suns rays (even if overcast) that helps reduce stress. She doesn't have to see this dr again till april.

See if you can get blood & urine tests done (liver & kidney function tests plus sugar & cholesterol levels) also an eeg & brain scan(which if you're stressed is likely to show the right side of your brain as red & the left as white which is what my daughter's showed. As to the rest of her false beliefs (guilt etc) once she started to get better she with some counselling & group therapy began to recognize her problems & then was able to learn how to start to deal with them.

If you have a panic attack, first if driving stop, park wait it out!! Second if not driving find somewhere to sit & take some deep breathes & have a cool (this is what is usually needed but hot might work for you, we're all different) drink, then continue on your way when when you feel better.

Obviously you love your mum & i'm sure she loves you & she will be aware that you're not well but are you really communicating with her, she can help you & give you support. Sure she'll be upset & all that but as a mother I can assure you that you feel alot less upset & worried if your child is really talking to you & letting you help - she may have some insights that will help but you need to talk to her.

Take care christy & email if you need to talk out of forum.

Christy,
i absolutely feel that you are in need of attention from your Dr. I would go in and tell him everything. Cry to him and tell him you don't feel the meds are much help. He will more than likely run other tests and then prescribe something else.
I also suggest strongly that you start writing in a journal. I have severe anxiety and I am always worrying about my health. I went to the Dr. Because I was becoming depressed and thought I was dying and that I wasn't going to have a future. He suggested I see a therapist which I did, but I wasn't fond of her. Some people get great results from a therapist. I wasn't one of them. I went to the library and checked out a bunch of books on depression and mental illness. I also logged onto websites that had inspirational qoutes and goal oriented stuff. It really helped me. So like I said, I began a journal and started keeping track of how I felt everyday and why I felt like that. Then I also started writing 5 things I was grateful for. When I finish a journal (once a year), I look through it and it amazes me how much it has helped me grow. I started noticing that every month I was loving myself more and more. I found the real me. I found out things about myself that I had no clue about. It was so neat. It helped me get to the root of my deep problems and worries. If I feel nervous about something I talk to someone I really trust and getting some reassurance always helps.
I think you probably would see amazing results too if you just spend your alone time learning what makes you happy and what makes you laugh. Who is your role model and why? Why do you see the world the way you do? What can you do to make the world(not just your world) a happier and healthier place?
It seems overwhelming, but if you get invovled in different exercises like a journal or volunteerig your free time to go with you to a movie or out to dinner you might get to know the real christy and I am sure she is a lot of fun to be with!
The future is very scary, but asking god to guide you and show what he put you here for will make it a little easier to step towards! :d