I've been wanting to have a baby for so
long now but he does not want one yet. I
think i've almost become obsessed with the
thought of becoming pregnant. He
absolutely loves children and wants to
have them someday...Just not now. I have
been waiting for a long time now though
and I feel anxious. Should I try to
convince him? I feel we are ready
(stable, secure, together)...I don't want
to keep waiting.
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 01-14-06 17:05pm
Hi there! My opinion is that if he is
not ready then it is just that, he is not
ready, you do not want to push someone
into something that they are not ready
for, it can truly mess up a relationship.
I do realize that no one can tell you
what to do so good luck with your
decision.
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Happiness03
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Jul 2005 Posts: 333
Posted: 01-14-06 17:07pm
The best thing to do, is wait when for
when you are both 100 percent ready! You
don't want him to regret his desicion.
Just try talking to him about it!
Becoming a parent is a huge
life/relationship changing event. At this
time, you need to respect his desires
within reason. Good luck! Communication
is key!
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Malory
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Dec 2005 Posts: 95 Location: York, England
Posted: 01-15-06 10:21am
I agree that it is best to wait until you
are both ready.
It is not fair to bring a child into the
world that isn't wanted by one of his
parents.
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Cambion
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Nov 2005 Posts: 747
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-15-06 11:50am
Patience is a virtue, bitsy690. It's okay
to talk to him about this matter, but do
not try and change his mind about it -
it'll make him feel like you only want him
for his sperm. Just chill for a while
until he is ready to accept the
responsibility of being a father. In the
meantime, why not hang out where babies
and toddlers are? Baby-sit for people you
know who have young kids, do stuff at the
local day-care center. You get the idea.
Get experience under your belt...Not
saying you are not qualified to be a
parent, but you don't want to go rushing
into baby-making without knowing what to
expect.
I'll add this as a final note...Please do
not oops your guy. I know the urge to
have a baby is very strong for you, but
doing that to your guy will put a rift in
your relationship and will make some trust
issues.
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bitsy690
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jan 2006 Posts: 43 Location: Illinois
Posted: 01-15-06 15:07pm
Thank you all for your advise. It makes
sense to me. How long is too long to
wait though? Should I try to set up a
date with him? Maybe i'm being too
pushy.
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Lilypad
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Oct 2005 Posts: 1043 Location: Ohio, USA
Posted: 01-23-06 09:47am
What are his reasons for wanting to wait??
How old are you two?? Why do want a baby
right now?
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Butterfly_05
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Dec 2005 Posts: 72 Location: Ohio
Posted: 01-23-06 16:23pm
Bisty, I had a similar problem when I
first wanted to concieve. My fiance was
not so sure and wanted to wait until we
were moved into our new house and I agreed
and we waited. Well I just couldn't get
the idea of having a baby out of my head
so every now and then I would bring up the
subject and we would talk about it. We
agreed on how many we wanted what their
names would be and even imagined what they
would look like. It was kind of like a
game for us. My sister has a little baby
and we watch him when the go out or
whatever just to get some experience.
Now we have been ttc for about 3-4 months
and he can't wait. I guess after we
talked about it and I saw it from his side
and he saw it from my side we agreed that
we would wait until we moved and we are in
the process now and then we would try.
Well good luck to you.
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Lilypad
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Oct 2005 Posts: 1043 Location: Ohio, USA
Posted: 01-24-06 09:49am
Maybe you could get him to watch " a baby
story" on tv to get him in the mood. I
dont know it always makes me want a baby
really bad when I watch that show.
My hubby and I sort of had the opposite
problem. He has wanted to get me
pregtnant ever since we were only dating
/living together for a few months. I
kept telling him, um nooo not until there
is a ring on my finger! Then he proposed
after 5 months of dating and wanted a
baby. I was like nooooo not until we are
married!! Then again after we got
married. I still wasnt ready to try
until about a year or so later. We are
trying now again after a misscariage last
summer. But in our situation I was the
one who took longer to come around. I
think its best to wait until you are both
ready.
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mum2bubba
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Oct 2005 Posts: 256 Location: Australia
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-25-06 00:30am
I know how you feel, my fiance and I
already have a 16 month old together but I
would really like another one (within the
next year or 2) so that they can be close
in age. The bet thing to do is wait a
year and see what happens, a year will
give you time to get organised for a baby
adn your husband can have time to think
about it more, if you push him he might
resent the baby and feel as though he or
she is a burden. At least he hasn't said
never, my fiance and I came to a
comprimise, he said he wanted to wait 5
years but I said I want to haev another
baby before i'm 30 (i'm 23 now) so because
he said 5 years and I want one now, we met
in the middle and will hopefully start ttc
later this year or early to id next year
(our daughter and the bubba will have a 3
year age gap, not too big, not too small)
that way we have other things to do before
the baby arrives or even before we start
trying such as getting my licence and
stuff like that. Best of luck to you
both. :)
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bitsy690
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jan 2006 Posts: 43 Location: Illinois
Posted: 01-25-06 07:43am
I want a baby now because our lives
recently started getting so much better.
I've always wanted to be a young mom.
I'm 22 and he is 25. I've been wanting
to get pregnant since I was about 19...But
now I know I was too young. Right now I
really feel it is the best time. He has
finally started to say that he can't wait
to have a baby but I just can't get him to
start trying. In a way I think he maybe
a little scared...But who isn't. I
really want a baby to love, teach, and
cuddle. I want us to be a family. I
know he will make an excellent father. I
just don't know what to say or do to make
him start trying.
