Emotionally Hurt By An Ex Posted: 01-22-06 17:41pm
I recently broken up with my ex because of
something that he has been hiding from me
for many years. I am 26 and have been
dating him since 23. He have a slight
degree of mental illness since he was 6
and refused to tell me until two weeks ago
when I went to his house and accidentally
find his ssi check on his living room
table. I asked him why is he receiving
ssi money, he then told me the whole
story. He then took me to a quiet place
and told me that he wants to separate from
me. He is afraid that his condition will
upset me so that's why he kept from
telling me. Now I found out and he said
we have to separate. I asked him what I
can do to help him. He said to forget it.
I went home crying the whole night and
couldn't get up the next morning for work.
Because he is my first love, I was very
emotionally hurt. I really don't
understand why this happen to me. For
instance, am I stupid to not realize his
disease? Why did I choose him at start?
Will my friends laugh at me if they find
out?
Right now the only thing I can think of is
smoking and drinking to get rid of this
sadness. What should I do? What is the
problem with me? Was I wrong or right
from start?
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Kittykatus
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Oct 2005 Posts: 89 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: 01-31-06 17:38pm
Oh I have gone through that- the what if
questions; 'what if I did this....' 'why
didn't I see it?' you can't beat yourself
up with these questions cause you'll build
a picture which isn't the real image.
First loves can either be well remebered
or end horribly. Heck mine did lol! But
depsite my hurt, i'm laughing it off cause
I can;t let it get me down; life is open
to us both, my friend.
Some partners hide stuff purely for either
protection, embarassment, shame, etc. And
the fact he didn't tell you after all
these years suggest that maybe he just
didn't see it as a major problem to tell
you. It is in a case of health, and that
it's disobeying trust. But i'm sure that
you can work this out. He can't let you
go after so many years; it's almost
impossible; even for the person who has a
heart of stone.
Keep strong hunni,
kitty
:)
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 02-16-06 11:01am
I understand.My current bf has a heart
condition but he didn't tell me.I found
out from a mutual friend and they said he
could die from it.I didn''t go to him
about it instead,i hinted sometimes to
it,only when something similar came up
though. He finally told me the other
day.I don't know why he didn't tell me in
the first place but either he was scared
or he thought it was too pointless to tell
me.When he did tell me he said before when
he was seeing this doctor for 20 years up
north and the doctor said nothing about
his heart.Now he moved to fl and the new
doctor is telling him he need not eat too
much red meat during the week and his
cholesterol is high and so on.He trusts
his doctor more there than here so he pays
him no attention.
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stefanie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Oct 2005 Posts: 33
Posted: 03-14-06 19:22pm
Hi
that is terrible that he has kept
something like that from you for so long,
be glad that it's over after all you can
not have a healthy relationship with
someone who will not be honest with you.
And I would talk to your friends if you
have good friends that will support you
and be there for you while you get over
this, also trust me drinking and smoking
will never change or solve anything but
make you feel worse.
Talk it out with friends cry and move on
take care hope you feel better
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 03-15-06 10:29am
You know what though,maybe he was scared
to tell you.It's not like he has something
contagious and ha passed it on to you.He
didn;t tell you and that was wrong but put
yourself in his position and think what
you would do. . .He broke it off in fear
of losing you and he does not want to see
you hurt.I know it hurts you to think he
hid something from you but please try to
understand
