Does Calling U An X's Name Mean Hes Missing Her? Posted: 01-24-06 08:28am
My boyfriend and I rele clash on some
levels.Like the other day he called me his
x's name in one of his stories he was
tellin his mates and didnt even realise
till they pointed it out and he thinks
there is nothin wrong wit it and I shudn b
angry becoz he apologised but to me thats
taken it too far. I am an insecure person
and he has changed in some ways to adjust
to that. I love him to death and he talks
about marrying eachother and the white
picket fence scene but isometimes I find
myself wonderin y I am with him and lata I
feel guilty. He says he shows me he loves
me by buyn me things but I want him to
have to try coz he feels too comfortable
in the sense that he expects me to adjust
n smooth things over. Sometimes if he
hurts me I will jus forgive him becoz he
wnt admit to it.Thats our problem we both
want the last word. Ne tips on how to
deal with this situation?
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RubyLei
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Dec 2005 Posts: 33 Location: UK
Posted: 01-28-06 05:44am
Hey girl
first of all, take control over the
situation...If he hurts you stand your
ground but instead of getting upset, get
angry and wait for him to come to you...If
he really cares he will. Start doing what
you want to do and when you want to do
it...Don't let him always get his wasy
even though you love him...Materialism is
not a sign of love its like an easy get
out for men when they have trouble showing
emotion and believe me a lot do. The ex's
name thing shouldnt really matter
sometimes it really is just out of
habit...Unconscious and I guess you just
have to accept that he did care for her
even though it is hard. Don't marry him
though until you sort this out...Dont let
him gain from your insecurity...Take
control
rue
xxxx
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TaraJay
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jan 2006 Posts: 14 Location: WA
Thanks Posted: 01-28-06 22:50pm
Thanks for that...................And yer
ur right,i have realised that he obviously
loved and cared for her at one stage,since
they were together for ten months but hes
wit me now. I have noticed that standin
my ground works, since the other night I
told him to get out and he shat. He neva
thought he wud hear me say it and I
pointed out y I did n that the next time
it wudn b jus words and everything has
changed, I have the upper hand. B4 I
found it hard to treat him as an equal
becoz I felt below him but now we r even.
Thanks heaps for ur input.
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RubyLei
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Dec 2005 Posts: 33 Location: UK
Posted: 02-13-06 13:15pm
Your very welcome...I'm glad I could help
rue
xxxxx
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 02-16-06 09:02am
Uh,can I add something in? Well I
actually called my b/f by my x-bf's name
once but I did not do it on purpose. I
didn't like my x any more, it just came
out. You have to realize sometimes that
things happen and just b/c he said it does
not mean he still thinks about her or
still likes her. Take it from someone who
has been on your bf's side of the story.
My bf forgave me. . .Hope you can work
it out.How old are you anyway?
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stefanie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Oct 2005 Posts: 33
Posted: 03-14-06 19:18pm
If he constantly hurts you stand your
ground! I agree!
If you are going to spend the rest of your
lives together you need to work together
and have an open line of communication.
It's important that he knows if he's
hurting you, also calling you his ex's
name is un-called for I would not stand
for that for sure! I would tell him once
maybe twice but if he keeps doing it then
I would say bye!!!
After all marriage is a life long
commitment(or it should be) and if he and
you cannot get along now imagin living
with him for good.
Take care and talk it out!
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 03-15-06 09:25am
I agree with them that you should stand
your ground but people do make
mistakes.And somethings,if he isn't making
a big deal out of it,why should you.He
probably didn't mean to call you his x's
name but some thing justr aren't big
enough to fight over.Now if you have other
problems that your not telling us that are
causing you to feel bad then you need to
confront him and tell him how he is making
you feel!
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MizzPurty28
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Feb 2006 Posts: 25
Posted: 03-15-06 17:14pm
I can relate.
I was dating this one guy a long time ago
and at christmas time in front of all his
family his mother called me his ex wife's
name. I just buried my head in my hands
cuz I was sooo embarrassed and
uncomfortable. Then she proceded to tell
me it's cause she happened to be thinking
about her because she was still considered
apart of her family having been married to
her son for so long years prior. It did
not make me feel any better by a long
shot. I always held that against her even
though it was an honest mistake. I guess
it reminded me that not only he, but the
rest of his family never got over her.
Just made me feel not accepted. Ours
names aren't even similar.
Thank goodness that relationship is a done
deal cuz it made me feel aweful.
I know just how you feel. It's a hurtful
thing no matter how uninteded it is.
People should be more careful!!!!
