Broken Hearted Forum - Thoughts And Opinions On "casual Sex"??

I just had a quick question, I was curious what peoples thoughts are here on casual sex?? You know, no true feeling behind it, no love, no emotion, just sex

the reason I am curious is that, well I was brought up always thinking that sex was something special that was to be shared between people who care about each other. I am not on the opposite end, I didn’t wait until marriage myself or anything, I just mean waiting until you know you had a connection with someone, something where you at least cared for the person.

My reason for asking, well, I married young but separated about 5 years ago after about 12 years. After the separation I started to date, but never really met anyone who truly interested me. Never once did I sleep with any of them because of my feelings towards casual sex. Except once, well twice (same person, two weekends in a row), after which I felt completely guilty about it and swore that I would never treat anyone (or myself) like an object like that again. Plus I wanted the person I did end up with to respect me and know I didn’t sleep around.

Forward to today. I finally met someone who I really care about and love being around. We have been together for eight months now. But, we definitely grew up differently, her feelings towards casual sex or one night stands were thought of as no big deal “its just sex” is her famous quote. Granted, one night stands she says she hasn’t done since in her 20’s (she is 38 now). But prior to me she was seeing a guy for about a year or two. Both of them new the relationship was going nowhere, both of them new they were just each others “friend with benefits”. It was a relationship strictly based on them meeting up once or twice a month for sex and that was it.

I am having a real problem dealing with this. I mean I love her, but the thought of her having “just sex” cheapens the whole thing for me and makes me feel like just a number. This is the whole reason I didn’t live my life that way, because I didn’t want someone to feel that way about me. I hate to say it, but I lack respect for her that she treated sex this way. Every time I hear her talk about it or say “its just sex” its like someone just punched me in the stomach and knocked the wind out of me.

Maybe I am old fashioned, maybe I have lived my life with my head buried in my sand, but I am just curious as to what other people here think about casual sex? Do you feel this is just the modern way people now look at sex? No real emotions needed, just sex??

And before anyone says “well you just said you did it twice yourself”….Yes I did, but as I mentioned, I felt completely guilty about it and mad at myself that I gave into the moment like that. She never felt that way, never felt guilty about it, never looked at it as inappropriate behavoiur. To her its still “just sex”. Granted, she now says that it has never been as good as it is with me because with me it is on another level, with emotions and love involved.

So, am I crazy, are we to different, is there any chance I can get over the way I feel and make this relationship work??