Why Can't I Just Spit It Out? Posted: 02-03-06 11:58am
Why can't I just say it...Why can't I just
say "i want a divorce"? I'm not
happy...He's not happy. I'm not in love
with him. I just want to be free to move
on with my life.
I don't want to hurt him, but i'm so
unhappy. Why does this have to be so
difficult.
:( sorry...Had to vent...I'm so lost
right now...
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
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Posted: 02-06-06 15:15pm
You may not love him like that anymore but
I assure you that you still care about him
or you would not care about his feelings.
caca happens, and there is nothing you can
do to stop it.You have let it run its
course and now it's time to take action.If
you stay inthe relationship you are only
hurting yourselves and keeping each other
from opportunities out in the world.Just
muster up some courage and like you said
"spit it out". It will be hard because
your thoughts will not become a reality
but it will only be for the better! Hope
I could help!
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undecidedInCO
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 10 Location: Colorado
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Posted: 02-10-06 18:39pm
Well, I did it...We went to the counselor
this week & she flat out told him that
when someone's as fed up as I am that
counseling's pretty much a moot point.
She did say that since he was sooo
hesitant to agree to the divorce that we
separate & get to know ourselves &
just take care of us individually.
I told him the only way he's getting a
chance is if we start from scratch--and
he's gonna have to prove himself to me.
We're selling the house, are separating,
and I can be free to do what I need to do
to make myself happy.
He said that I should give him a chance
this time because he didn't mean it the
last 3 or 4 times--but he does this time.
I basically said "whatever"...I'll let
him think he's changed and he'll see that
i'm over this relationship. I took my
ring off and everything & i've never
felt better.
I guess you just get to that point of not
wanting to deal with the bs & lies
anymore. He's got his 30 days, then i'm
filing the paperwork...You can't change
overnight, and I know him...He hasn't
changed at all.
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4581
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Posted: 02-10-06 19:25pm
Hi there to all! Isn't that strange how
they say that they will change and it is
great if they do change for two weeks. I
am a person of experience here, I am on my
fourth marriage. I have learned that if
I am not happy that I am the only one that
can change it. You never lose the
feeling that you have for someone but
somehow it never grows what you do lose is
respect, I feel. I was taught that if
you make your bed that you lay in it but I
have learned that when those sheets get
dirty or they are not good anymore that
you have to wash them or get rid of them.
I do not feel that marriage counselors
help that much. I feel that you just
need to be strong sit him or her down and
say, I do not want to hurt you but this
relationship is not going anywhere, I am
not happy and it is time for a change and
let him/her know one or both has to leave.
It is always strange to me that
sometimes couples get along better without
that piece of paper and their are times
when that ring feels like an anchor. I
am glad you cane here to vent! I am here
for you!
The best to you all!
Keep us posted on what happens.
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