i had the post earlier about peoples
opinions/views on casual sex? That got me
to thinking, how many would you think is
too many for past number of sexual
partners??
I mean I know there are averages out there
and the whole woman lie and say less, men
lie and say more, but I am just curious,
on this board, if you are dating someone
and they finally tell you “i have been
with x number of people”, what number
would make you jump back and say “wow,
that is a lot of people, I don’t think I
can deal with that”
say in age range from:
teens to twenty
twenty to twenty-five
twenty-five to thirty
thirty to thirty-five
thirty-five to forty
also, making the assumption they were
never married, maybe in a couple long term
relationships, but never married.
So, say you are a guy, dating a woman 38
years old, never married, and she finally
says “i have been with x number of
people”, what would be the number that
would make you say, wow, that is just too
many sexual partners………
i am curious also if the numbers are
different when talking about a man or a
woman??
|
Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 02-09-06 15:29pm
If a guy told me he slept with 15-20
people it would make me think a little but
I have slept with about 11 or 12 people,i
think that is a little much for a girl but
I also think everyone has thier wild
stage,and I know I had mine so. . .What
about you,how many is too much?
|
fatfamily02
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 3050 Location: Georgia, USA
Posted: 02-09-06 15:37pm
I myself dont think it really matters.
It only takes one wrong partner for std's
or aids. So, how can we really say--too
many. Every one has had the wild
stage--as previous poster says--and some
pple just cant say no. So do we hold
them responsible for something they might
not be able to control--i dont think we
should. I think a person should listen
to their heart--period. Everything else
aside--listen to your heart.
|
Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 02-09-06 15:41pm
Fatfamily is right,if you love the person
you can set those things aside and they
don't matter!
|
oopoopoop
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Mar 2004 Posts: 1251 Location: ,
Thanks: 43
Thanked:2
Posted: 02-09-06 16:10pm
Before you find your handsome prince,
sometimes you have to kiss a lot of
frogs.
The numbers don't mean anything as
numbers. The person you met and are
attracted to/like/love has gotten where
they are through the experiences they've
had. If you can't accept their
experiences, then your opinion on that
person is illogical. Who they've been is
part of who they are now.
|
w0rldd0minat0r
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Feb 2006 Posts: 238
Posted: 03-02-06 18:46pm
Gd point I think anything over 15 is too
much for a woman she would seem a bit
second hand otherwise I know that seems
mean but thats how I see it.
|
w0rldd0minat0r
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Feb 2006 Posts: 238
Posted: 03-02-06 18:48pm
Ps im 16 and virgin so im not too sure as
yt but thats what I feel like at the
moment
|
wifeandmomtoone
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Mar 2006 Posts: 8 Location: OR
Posted: 03-03-06 00:39am
Just remember, every time you give
yourself to someone, you give a piece of
your heart. I know that sounds stupid,
but it really is true. Why else would we
hurt so much when something ends or think
about an ex when the relationship is long
over? If you are with lots of people,
there is less to offer the guy/gal that
will be the one you spend the rest of your
life with.
|
Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 03-03-06 09:18am
wifeandmomtoone
wrote:
just remember, every time
you give yourself to someone, you give a
piece of your heart. I know that sounds
stupid, but it really is true. Why else
would we hurt so much when something ends
or think about an ex when the relationship
is long over? If you are with lots of
people, there is less to offer the guy/gal
that will be the one you spend the rest of
your life
with.
i diagree.Not that I am happy about it but
I have had a one night stand and I didn't
give them any piece of my heart.And also
just bc I slept with 11 or 12 guys doesn't
mean I have less to offer my lifelong
partner,i think its the other way
around.You have more experience plus you
are free from wondering what else is out
there,which lessens your chances of
cheating and greatens the chance of love.
. .Thats how I look at it.
|
Lalee
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jan 2006 Posts: 991 Location: South Carolina
Posted: 03-03-06 13:29pm
My question is, why are you asking them
how many people they've been with in the
first place?
Do they have children out there
somewhere?
Do they have stds?
Have they been abusive partners?
Have they been unfaithful partners?
Those, to me, are the questions that
should be answered (though you don't
exactly want to walk up to your man/woman
one day and say, "hey, by the way, have
you ever beaten anybody you've slept
with?").
Asking the numbers question is just asking
for a slap in the face, in my opinion.
You can't do anything about who they slept
with before you were together... If its'
a high number, it will only make you
insecure.
|
munky23
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Dec 2005 Posts: 130
Posted: 03-27-06 19:13pm
I was raised with ultraconservative views.
I would never be with a man that has slept
with more than 10 people. Personally I
believe over 5 is too many.
For myself I think over 3 is too many.
|
oceantrance
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Mar 2006 Posts: 4
R U Serious!!!???? Posted: 03-28-06 23:04pm
w0rldd0minat0r
wrote:
gd point I think anything
over 15 is too much for a woman she would
seem a bit second hand otherwise I know
that seems mean but thats how I see
it.
who cares how many people you sleep with,
wether you're a girl or a boy. As long
as you're keeping it safe, they go ahead
and enjoy yourself. I dont get this
whole "anything over 15 being too much"!!
So 14 partners are okay, but somehow, 15
is not or 16 is not? It doesnt make sense
at all.
Plus what's with the double standard that
15 is too much for a "woman" why? What's
the difference? If a guy bases his
opinion and feelings about you on the
number of sex partners you've had, then
he's not the guy for you ne how.
All this bs talk about a woman seeming
"second hand" angers me off. Dont get me
wrong ur entitled to ur opinion as shallow
as it may be, I just feel sorry for the
way you were brought up, cuz I feel these
aren't your actual opinions, and that ur
just saying what you've been told growing
up.
Sex is natural, it's a part of life, it's
meant to have and to enjoy as long as it's
done safely.
Cheers to seeeeeeeeeex :wink:
|
erogers33
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jan 2006 Posts: 141 Location: Littleton, CO
Posted: 03-29-06 12:16pm
Like the majority, I feel that a number is
just that -- a number. However, I do feel
that it can get a little out of hand.
Me and my fiancee's roommate has slept
with over 100 girls -- 100! Can anyone
tell me that's .N.O.T too many partners?
The problem isn't that he's slept with
over 100 women; the problem is that it is
completely unhealthy and unsafe. Who
knows what he's contracted. One girl got
pregnant by him last year, and she had an
abortion. Personally, if a guy told me
he's been with more than 30 girls, i'd be
freaked out. Maybe even 20. I would
definitely not sleep with someone who's
had over 100 partners - I wouldn't want to
endanger my health for a night of sex.
But I do think it's important that you are
open and honest with your sexual past .I.F
you are in a monogomous, committed
relationship. I just believe that the
past defines who we are... Not
necessarily meaning that if you've slept
with "a lot" of people that you're a bad
person... There are difficult situations
that we all face, and sex is one of them.
Not everyone is proud of their sexual
past, but to at least let your partner
know about it shows that you really care
about his/her feelings.
